My Weblog

Looking out... for something...

Do you ever feel like this? Like you're just waiting for something. SOMEthing... and you aren't sure what it is, but it's out there. And if you look long enough, it's sure to show up. SOMEhow.

I do.

I feel like that all the time lately. On the edge of something.

but not sure what.

...

I spent Thursday and Friday in Chicago at CHA, the Craft and Hobby trade show, setting up the booth and working on make and takes and meeting some wonderful people. I got to hang out with old friends and get to know some new ones. I've never worked in the booth before, but it was fun. Chatterbox came back with a bang, and it was so fun to hear all the great comments about the new product.

I was called home early, and left Friday night, getting home after midnight. Saturday morning, Adam headed into Chicago for his uncle's funeral and was gone most of the day. It was a sad reason to have to leave early, but all in all, it was ok. I had a rough day on Saturday being so tired, but I survived.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my word of the year: SIMPLIFY.

Am I really doing that?

My goal is to simplify my house, but more than that - my life. To focus on what's really important. To do what God's called me to do. In my life that means some very specific things. I need to make very specific time for my kids (I'm thinking one fun project every morning with mommy, plus maybe a good chunk of reading/game time in the afternoon)... I want to schedule it so it happens regularly. It's on the calendar kind of thing. And I need to clear some things off my plate to make time to work on some things God's dropped in my heart.

It's funny because it's so easy to find time to do what other people need, isn't it? Like, if someone asks me to do something, I just don't want anyone to be upset, so i do it. I find the time to do it. But if GOD asks me to do something, wouldn't you think I'd find the time to do that more than anything else? But I don't. I sit on it. And I'm done warming eggs that are ready to hatch.

So. Some changes will be made. Not sure where to start, but I know it's big.

I've never felt like this before - so filled with purpose. So ready to let other people step into what I've always done with no fear of being obsolete. No fear of being replaced. no fear they will be better than me. I welcome it. As soon as that ounce of jealousy tries to creep in, it's like God says, "But that's not what I've called you to, so why would you want that?" Why would I want to keep doing the same things over and over... the reults will always be the same.

So He's put me on a new, exciting, challenging path... and I'm learning about it constantly - and it's scary and fun, but the sense of urgency and the appetite for 'figuring it out' is so strong.

I can't wait to see what's around the next turn.

I know it's something awesome. Perfect for me in this season of my life.

In the mean time, I'm going to soak up the last few weeks of summer. I'm going to take lots more photos... like these:

Ethan-isms

Today Ethan came into my scraproom room and stood here for a few minutes while Sophia and I had a whole conversation about why my braids don't look as good as Miss Stephanie's (one of our friends who babysits for them and who braided her hair yesterday)...

I noticed Ethan was sort of staring off into outer space, with one finger rubbing a certain spot on his head.

Finally, I said, "What's up, Ethan?"

He said, "This one part is more downer than my other head skin."

I have no idea why this struck me as so funny because I didn't want to laugh and make him feel like he couldn't talk to me about these kinds of issues, and I sure don't want to explain to him that 'more downer' isn't gramatically correct because I love these little kidisms...

Things like this are why I'm not sending him to preschool. After much, much thought and lots of back and forth, I think I've decided to teach him at home just for preschool and send him for kindergarten. Ethan will be older than all the other kindergartners because his birthday is in late August (he'll be five.) But we've decided this is better for him. I hope it's the right thing to do.

But seriously, tell me, would you want to spend your days without this guy?

And miss out on his 'tough guy mean' face? And miss out on feeling his biceps because he's SO STRONG? No, I think having him home is a good plan for us. I can't wait to teach him more. :)

My kids live in their pajamas.

For that matter, so do I.

Do you think this is a bad thing?

I'm reading the book On Writing by Stephen King. In it, he makes the observation that he doesn't have vivid memories of his childhood. I think it reinforces the reason why I scrapbook because I don't have vivid childhood memories either. It goes in spurts. There are events I remember. Spankings. Things that happened I affiliate with a photograph - someone must've told me the story behind it, that sort of thing.

But real memories of being a kid? I don't have those.

For instance, I don't remember ever feeling 'carefree.' Maybe I was always a 'worried' type of kid, but I had really nothing to worry about. When I look at my own kids, I wonder if I was like them. It makes me stop before shooting photos - which I've been terribly bad about this whole summer. But what do you think the boys will remember about this picture:

 

"Oh, we're cute. We wore pajamas all day long..."

But when Sophia sees these pictures of herself:

I am hoping she remembers how much fun she had as a kid. How much she loved to turn on the ipod and dance to songs she is far too young to know. (We're big fans of "Let My Love Open the Door" around here...) Did I dance like this? I have no idea. I remember tap dancing in the entry way of our house (because it was the place most resembling a stage... and I was constantly on stage) and chipping the linoleum. I do remember that.

Random change of subject, but yesterday was Sunday - which for us is our biggest day of the week. It's kind of exhausting and I feel myself retreating rather than attacking it with the gumption I probably should have. It's easy for me to hide out and settle in in the background these days. Anyway, when we got to the church someone had written "Nothing matters more than this day" on our white board in the office. We usually post tips and prayer requests on the board, so I guess someone felt they wanted to contribute.

I've heard the saying before. I get it. I understand what it's trying to say... focus on today. Be in the moment. Don't let the little things pass you by... but all in all, I think I disagree with it. I can think of many things that matter more than this day. There are things that need to be accomplished on this day in order to make those things that matter more mean more, but really... I think my purpose - the big picture - eternal life - the overall theme of the way I live... those things matter more than the little decisions like what I have for breakfast.

Maybe I'm thinking about it too hard. I usually take these kinds of quotes and pin them to the wall (or write them on white boards)... I usually fail to think about their meaning.

I want to stop and smell the roses, but at the moment, to me... there's lots of things that matter... and some of them matter even more than this day.

I have a renewed sense of purpose these days. Things that used to really bother me for fear of not having 'a place' or being shown up by other people, that sort of silly thing - are really slipping away. I don't get bothered anymore when someone tells me they want to do something that typically would've been my job... because I know my purpose. And I know what it's going to take to get me there. And I know I don't have time to do the old things and still expect new results.

It's quite liberating, this new-found excitement of knowing what God wants me to do. I wonder if now, at the age of 32, I've discovered my LIFE's purpose... not just my purpose for this season. Was everything up until this point just training?

Hard to say.

But I'm excited to see what's coming. I'm excited to tackle it with reckless abandon. Only, I'm not so much reckless and I am cautious, so we'll see.

:) Getting ready for CHA this week. I'm excited, but being away from my family is aways very hard for me. Even just an hour away... I'm such a baby.

Hope you had a good weekend!

Home again, home again, jiggity jig...

We are back from our vacation, and we had an amazing time.

We stayed in Southern Michigan on the lake in a little community called Bethany Beach. Rich with history, this little spot is so tucked away you would never know it exists unless someone pointed it out. I'm told there are 90-year olds who've been coming since they were small children. It's THAT kind of place - the kind of place full of memories, exactly the kind of place we've been wanting to go ever since we started having kids.

Enter some new, wonderful, generous friends who happen to have a cottage there. Within just a few minutes of knowing them (I swear - it was amazing how willing they were to share!) they offered us a week in their cottage. It looks like this:

Isn't it beautiful? You should see the inside. It's right on the corner, across the street from a park - it's absolutely beautiful. Our friends have redone so much, and I'm so impressed by their amazing attention to detail. It was so put together and so homey. And seriously... it looked like the inside of a Pottery Barn Catalog.

Please ignore my poor photography. At this point, I was still gawking. And that's our stuff there in the foreground. Backpack, shirt or towel or something. Isn't it pretty? Their appliances look like cabinets.

I have to admit. I was jealous. The idea of having somewhere like this to go and write is really appealing to me! Our kids LOVED it! It was so much fun for them. We went to their garden center and stocked up on amazing fruit and vegetables (you would've thought I would've done better on WW over the week, but alas... no. I ate like a vacuum cleaner. sigh. Back on the wagon today!) We cooked our meals right in the cottage and walked to the beach and the park and I read nearly an entire book while we were there:

Lynn Austin is one of my mom's favorite writers, and I'm really trying to read lots of different styles, so this was on my list. Plus, isn't it pretty? The cover, I mean? It's historical fiction, which combines two of my favorite things: history and fiction. :)

Anyway, I felt a little lonely at times because I was with Sam a lot while the other three were out doing fun things. Having a baby makes things more challenging, but at the same time, I loved my couple of hours of peace and quiet, reading. It was perfect. So nice to have that break.

The best thing for the kids was probably the beach:

This is them on the way up to the beach. It was just a couple blocks and a hil away (no, I didn't try and convince myself the hill was making up for the eating. I know better.)

Sophia got a great new swimsuit for this trip. I wish they made it in my size and with pants.

Ethan got new swim trunks too. I'm not so much wishing they had one in my size, though the coverage of the lower half is much more desirable on his trunks than Sophia's suit.

What? You don't let your kid chew on the sunscreen? I had to CONSTANTLY occupy Sam while we were there or he would've had mouths full of sand. Sadly, he soiled the matching creeper that goes with this hat the first day we were there, so I didn't get a shot of him in matching garb.

Some other cool things...

Blue moon ice cream. My sister and I love this stuff. And when you find it, you have to get it - not one, but two scoops. They had it up there and I stole some of Sophia's.

This butterfly or moth:

I was so wishing I had my zoom lens. He was way up in a tree. He has red legs. Furry ones.

You can sorta see his open wings here. Anyway, he was the coolest thing. We saw him just before we left to come home.

Adam loved just being able to rest and take it easy. He really took the word 'vacation' to heart, making sure to tell me any time he was walking REALLY slow or taking too long for my busy self, "Hey, I'm on vacation."

Yeah. He was definitely on vacation.

He did do all of the cooking almost, but that's more fun than anything. (For him)

That's my kids with pollen on their noses. They thought it was hilarious once they discovered there was pollen in the flowers outside. I think there's still traces of it on Ethan. Someone should really bathe that kid.

(That was a joke.)

Ok. So, we headed out Wednesday about 3ish and by 5:30ish we were done with the car. Sam is a great baby, but a rotten traveler, so we were ready to get out of the car when we hit Chicago. Which is about the time our car decided it had had it too and promptly stopped working on the interstate.

THANK GOD we were about 20 minutes from Adam's dad's house. Seriously - if we had to break down, we couldn't have done it in a better place!! So, it set us back a few hours (like five) but we got everything taken care of, fixed and finally made it home close to midnight.

Then, we had lots of work to catch up with on Thursday and the 4th this weekend. Our 4th this year was quite different because my uncle is running for State Senate in his district. We walked in the 4th of July parade instead of sitting on the sidelines. It was a TON of fun!

Sophia and Ethan with my nieces, Kendall and Kinley.

They walked in the parade too. Ethan took his job as candy thrower incredibly seriously.

That's our whole clan. And a big truck.

I hope I get to walk in a couple more this summer. They did three just on Friday alone.

So. That was that. I am tired and my back is screaming because I've been working on CHA layouts which means lots of sitting in the chair, but I will survive!!

:)

Hope you had a happy holiday! And managed to avoid gaining 5 pounds.

Come to think of it, I hope I did too!!

A few layouts in the midst of vacation packing.

I have to admit. I wasn't really that excited about leaving for vacation. We aren't typically good travelers - especially Sam. Well, he's not a good sleeper when traveling - let's put it that way. Then I spent today shopping and getting things ready and yesterday buying a swimsuit, which surprisingly - I don't hate... though I seriously need to start exercising again. And now, I think I'm really looking forward to the time away.

Some friends of ours have offered to let us use their cottage in Michigan. Can't beat that, I say! So, my hope is that since we'll be somewhere where we can relax and just hang out, right on the beach, we should be ok. That's my hope. :) We'll see how that plays out.

Today while I was packing, I found my July/August issue of Memory Makers. I realized I hadn't even looked through it yet, things have been so crazy - and when I did I couldn't put it down. I loved it! I was excited to see my article because it went through a few transitions before becoming "Beyond the Obvious." Here's a couple of my pages from this issue:

I had been wanting to scrap this picture of Ethan for a long time, and when I found this Pebbles, Inc. paper, I thought it would work out perfectly. I sort of 'interviewed' Ethan about all the changes in his life last October/November. I'm pretty happy with the result because it really captured him at age 4.

A sort of bluish picture, but you get the idea. This is one that I want to hang in Sophia's room. It's about our bedtime prayers. I loved using ribbon as the background even though I labored over this doggone (yes, I just said doggone... leave me alone!) layout forever.

To be fair, I had to do one page about each of my children. (Forget the fact that the other two in the article are about Sophia... I have such an easier time scrapping girly photos.) This one uses masking tape and then some awesome Scarlet Lime papers. Sam looks like a wrinkly old man, but I love these pictures of him. All tiny and new. Gosh, he's huge now compared to this.

Anyway. Those are my pages. Some of them. You should get the magazine if you don't have it - the Reader's Gallery is adorable! Full of really great stuff!

Well, I should get back to it. This stuff isn't gonna pack itself, though wouldn't that be awesome? I should invent something to pack for me. I would be rich.

I made sure to pack Swedish Fish in a place where they will be accessible at all times.

I hope you have a great week!

Memories in the making.

Did you ever feel like you were the butt of some monster cosmic joke?

That's how I've been feeling for quite awhile now. The least of my problems is the fact that I've written two LONG blog posts - neither of which published onto the blog. I don't know why. I'm so confused.

Anyway.

This past weekend, I was sick. This was after spending a week with a very sick Ethan and the week before (camp week) with a puking Sophia. Yes, I was down for the count. Three days of not eating. (And all I lost was one lousy pound - seriously... Adam didn't eat for three days recently because he was sick and he literally dropped TEN. Cruel and unfair.)

Anyway.

So, I was sick. Sunday afternoon, still sick. Still unable to eat (or drink) anything. My back goes out. No apparent reason just didn't feel like being straight at that moment. I couldn't stand up straight. I couldn't lie down. I was wrecked. Yesterday I went to the chiropractor who I like to call my 'earthly savior in hopes that I'm not comparing him offensively to Jesus Christ but enough for everyone to know that he literally saved me. Many times.

My back is still pretty messed up, but better today. Yesterday I couldn't handle my porker of a baby at all. I couldn't lift him or feed him or hold him. I think he misses me.

All that to say... sometimes I think God just slows you down. I don't feel like God inflicted this pain on me, but perhaps he allowed it to come my way because I needed to get down on the floor and play with my rugrats. Maybe I wasn't seeing them for who they really were. Maybe I needed to write stories with Sophia and watch Ethan be a tortoise (a robot tortoise, no less) and just sit and talk to Sam.

Maybe I wouldn't have really slowed down if I wasn't sick/hurt.

It's sad to think of it, but it's true. Let's be honest, life often gets the better of me, and I find myself running around like a chicken wondering how in the world I'm going to get everything done... and God's saying STOP! SLOW DOWN! You're going to MISS THIS:

And you dont' want to miss this! Because it'll stop your heart. It'll keep you going. It'll be your reason. You don't want to wonder what his smile looked like. You can't be THAT busy. You have to CHOOSE THEM.

CHOOSE THEM.

Purpose to make them your choice.

I hear the words hitting me and I'm shooing them away like a bumble bee flying around my head. But they come back at me with a vengeance and I have no choice but to STOP.

AND SLOW DOWN.

AND WATCH MY FAMILY GROWING ALL AROUND ME.

Because I'm laid up. I'm in the same spot I was yesterday. Because I can't move and I have to do just the very barest minimum. Because I wouldn't listen when I had all those warnings. Because I was busy and had a house to clean and assignments to do and tee ball to watch and dance to enroll in... and seriously. seriously. seriously...

What have I missed out on because I was preoccupied?

This is my ongoing battle. There are months when I don't have this battle. I win this battle and conquer it and put it to rest and never thing about it again... until the next time.

I see other moms doing it right. Focusing on nothing but the kids and the house and the home cooked meals and I fail at the house and the meals and some days... yes, the kids too. Because some days I fail them. Some days I don't play enough. Some days I don't SEE them (you know what I mean - like, really SEE them, for the little people they are becoming.)

I hate it. It's a constant struggle and I hate the days when I fail.

I hate them.

I know this time is fleeting. I know these days are short.

I know you don't see this everyday:

This is Ethan with my niece and nephews before they moved to Georgia.

I wonder if we spent enough good time with them while they were here. Did we take advantage of the fact that the kids could get together pretty much whenever they wanted to?

I hate hindsight.

And I have to ask... what good are memories if you only sort of remember them because you were doing 18 things at once.

Do I really care about 17 of them?

I don't know. I am trying to find the balance. Trying to focus on what's important. Trying to make what matters matter.

Trying to live the moments in my life.

Even if I'm living them sick and laid up and down on the floor.

And just for the record... my new painting makes me very, very happy:

I bought this at a store in town because it made me so happy.

I hope you find something that makes you happy too.

test.

Having trouble posting. This is just a test.

Did you see???

My friend Brenda sent me this image. Look who it is! My Sophia with a sweet little girl from our church at last year's 4th of July parade! I was pretty excited about this one and Janna Wilson did an awesome job on the layout!!

Yay!

PS - wanna know something cool about this? I didn't submit this photo for a cover call. I submitted a layout for a 4th of July call. It was originally one of about 25 pictures on a layout about the small town parade life that I love... the editors managed to pick this one photo off of that layout (and trust me, it was a small picture) and ask if they could use it.

Talk about lucky!! So submit those pages... you just never know! :)

First Order of Chatterbox Business

Well, today was an amazing mail day.

Six boxes arrived at my door FULL of BRAND NEW ARTSYLICIOUS product from Chatterbox!!

The thing about this stuff is - it's not like anything I've ever seen before... (I stole those pictures from Melody's blog. I know she won't care, but I wanted to be sure to give her credit since she designed the whole dang line.) Sadly, I don't get to KEEP all six boxes... they're for specific people and places, but seeing this stuff in real life has really made me love it even more!

I've been on board at Chatterbox for a little while now, but my first REAL order of business is to announce the Audition for the brand new Design Team!

Check it out HERE: CHATTERBLOG

Yes, the post got a little weird when I copied/pasted it into typepad (seriously - what is the trick to that?) but you get the idea! All the info is there!

I think we're going to be doing lots of fun stuff on the blog since all of the product is in and ready to ship! I cannot wait to give some of this stuff away!!

In other news...

Tomorrow we leave for Camp. I am not actually going to sleep there thanks to Sam (God bless him - I can't say I'm disappointed I won't be sleeping out in the middle of nowhere in a cabin (and I do mean a CABIN - nothing ritzy about camp...) But, I will be driving back and forth which has it's pros and cons. Hope you'll pray for us while we're there - and for good weather... not sure what the kids will do if we don't have good weather! eeek.

God is doing so so many awesome things in my life right now, I can't wait to get back and tell you all about them!

What we've been up to.

Well, it's definitely been a little while since I was able to update. Last week was not a good week - obviously - with the funeral and everything, but Adam and I had a big volunteer meeting on Friday night that had to happen. Our department needs more help, so we invited some people out to talk to them about it. I created a handbook and photo presentation for it, nixing the original idea to do a funny video we had already written out. We just didn't have the time and the weather wasn't cooperating, so we'll put that on the shelf for another day. Here's the cover of my handbook:

The inside has the breakdown of how people can get involved, what their involvement in each area entails and what the committment level is. I loved doing this, but while it looks simple, it was a lot of work.

Over the course of the past two weeks, I've been doing a ton of thinking and praying about where God wants me. I already know, but you know how we are... we have to second guess everything we hear God saying to us... oh, is that only me?

One of the things I've been feeling (and I know I've posted about it before) is that I need to SIMPLIFY. It's my word this year. SIMPLIFY.

My house. My life. My clutter. My care.

SIMPLIFY.

It's amazing in what areas God will ask you to scale back.

When we got home from the conference, I decided it was time. Time to listen to what I knew God was saying. I had just decided to accept the job as Design Team Coordinator for Chatterbox and I felt pretty safe that was a blessing God was bringing to me. Security. Stability. And tons of flexibility - which, come on Moms, you know we need that. So, I prayed and didn't feel like God was telling me to give that up.

With that, though, I had to say goodbye to my other two amazing design teams. October Afternoon and Queen and Company. I knew if I stayed on, I would be disappointing them. If I can't do the job right, I didn't want to do it. And while it was tempting to quit Weight Watchers (you know, because after awhile, it's not so easy anymore...) I knew that wasn't an option. I'm still hammering that and - holy cow - through all of this, yesterday found out I'm down two more pounds. That's 20 now. TWENTY!

Did you read that?

Twenty!

Holy darn. I think that just hit me. I am really excited about that.

Yeah, not giving up on WW yet. :)

Oh! I also went in and decided to give up the church newsletter, which I've been writing for nine years now. I think nine years is long enough for anyone to do anything, and while it wasn't HARD work, it was distracting work, and sometimes a source of stress because it always seemed to come at the wrong time. Thankfully, it's not a big deal that I'm moving out of that - training the new people and leaving it in their capable hands. (What a load off!)

Anyway, the one thing I was sure God wouldn't ask me to give up was Memory Makers. I mean, what I feel him leading towards is more writing - and that's what I do at the magazine. The people are amazing. The magazine is wonderful. Surely you don't want me to give that up, Lord?

SURELY, I DO, COURTNEY.

Huh?

Our conversation continued like this for quite some time. I was fighting with God. You never do that, I'm sure. I wonder if I sound like one of my whiney kids.

But I don't waaaannnntt to do that!

And of course, God would be me in this scenario and He would say:

I DIDN'T ASK IF YOU WANTED TO. NOW, DO IT.

(Does that sound harsh? Because I think I've used that exact phrase on my children.)

Anyway. I couldn't believe it. So, I, being the oh-so-confident in my ability to hear God woman that I am decided I needed to put a fleece out. Yeah. I know. If it's wet, I'll know I heard you. But only if the ground is dry. And then vice versa. Or whatever. The story sticks with me, and it's rare that I put my own fleece out, but it needed to be done.

So.

About eight months ago (THis is so embarrassing to admit) A WONDERFUL woman in our church gave me two photos. She wanted me to scan them in and put them on the same sheet together side by side so you could see the comparison between her little boy and her husband who has passed away.

The resemblance is really uncanny. They've got the same expression, the same flannel coat on. It's crazy.

I say, SURE! I can do that!

She says, Great!

Neither one of us realizes that being the ridiculously pregnant, stressed out house-selling fool that I was, I was going to misplace said photos and pack them away with my scrapbooking stuff.

Ok. Scrapbooking stuff is like the haystack and these photos - the needle.

When I finally got moved, I figured they would turn up. Box after box, I unpacked, praying to find these pictures.

No luck.

And it had been awhile by now. And I never even scanned them in because my scanner had already gotten packed up when she gave them to me. (Note to self, before agreeing to do something like this, consider if you CAN.)

So I said, Lord, if you want me to give up the magazine, then you're going to have to let me find those pictures within two weeks. TWO weeks, Lord. Now, keep in mind Adam and I don't have tons of time to clean out the garage, so I knew really, God had two days within those two weeks for me to find these pictures. Marked, I was sure, in one of the boxes I would SURELY open as SOON as I got to the new house. Sitting in a manila envelope. I was positive.

Well, we found ourselves on a Saturday, out in the garage, cleaning. I instructed Adam what he needed to look for as we worked. By the end of the day... we were empty handed. Ok, I wasn't unhappy except that this meant maybe I really didn't know how to decipher God's voice. (Why is this always a struggle for me?)

This is getting long. Want to see a picture of my kids?

Okay, that wasn't the best one of the bunch. Shoot. I have to insert another one because Sam looks a little cross-eyed here. Just one more then back to my story.

Ok, so it wasn't the best photo day for Sam. He hasn't been feeling well.

Anyway, back to my story.

The following week went by, and still no photos. It had been a week and a half, and I knew we had one more big cleaning day on Saturday. So. We cleaned. As we cleaned, I mostly stayed inside putting stuff away (the moving process is really a year-long ordeal, isn't it?)

At one point, Adam called me out to go through some stuff in the garage. Stuff he wanted to throw away. I did. Then, a box along the wall marked Miscellaneous caught my eye.

What's this?

Adam shrugs.

I open the box and it's random stuff from my office. I start tossing it around in the box and then I see a photo envelope. Hm, I think, wonder what this is.

I knew it wasn't the pictures I needed because remember those were in a manila envelope.

I open them up and literally almost collapse to the floor.

Two little square photos, both of little boys in flannel jackets wearing the same expression on their faces were staring back at me. All my nights awake of praying I could find them were over. The worry in the pit of my stomach was gone. I found the pictures!

Wait.

That means....

Oh my gosh. I have to leave the magazine.

HUH?

One of the hardest decisions I've ever made was basically made for me. I trust that God knows what my future is, and I know HE knows where I'm headed even if I don't. But by putting that fleece out there, I was sure I'd heard correctly and the very next day, I emailed my wonderful, amazing editors that I couldn't continue to be a contributing editor for Memory Makers.

I am still sad, but I know it's what is best.

And I know the magazine will continue to thrive and be amazing in every way! And I can't wait to see what they do next!

SO.

That is my big life change. It's been crazy around here. Lots of t-ball. Lots of ear infections. Lots of dirty diapers. ha. Isn't my life exciting?

Anyway, I'm running late for a breakfast, so I have to go, but I need to say this:

Thank you for all the emails and comments about my grandma's death. You never realize how hard something like that is going to be until you go through it. My mom is doing well - she's so awesome - and while it's been emotionally and physically taxing on all of us, we are comforted by the fact that our grandma (Bubba) is up in heaven, still dancing around with Jesus.