Putting the scale in its place.

I've decided in order to keep things understandable in my mind I'm not going to weigh in or post my weight on any day but Thursday. I'm honestly not sure I can NOT stay off the scale until Thursday, but I'm going to try. It makes no sense to keep having this little weight roller coaster in my mind. It messes me up.

When I started WW, (officially, like went to the meetings,) I was two pounds less than when I started my weight loss journey at home, so whatever my weight is, I'll add my two pounds to it, but other than that, I'm waiting til Thursdays to weigh.

This past Thursday, someone at the meeting really gave me such a revelation (which is why I love the meetings to begin with.) One of the ladies had gotten lifetime that day ( she'd lost 23 pounds and almost apologized it was such a small number... as a friend of hers pointed out, that last 10 can be the hardest to lose.) Anyway, her friend was also a lifetime member and when our leader posed the question "How many of you feel like it's coming off really slowly?" I was one of many who raised their hands.

This lifetime member looked around the room and said, "You know, last year, I decided it was MY YEAR," she said, "I knew it was my year to make a change - and I knew it could take a WHOLE YEAR. I gave myself that time." I realized this isn't about losing this weight super fast - it's about changing my life for good. I don't intend to keep doing this over and over again. I intend for this to be the last time I fight this battle. So if it takes a little longer than I'd like, so be it.

I wrestled with that idea for awhile because, like everyone else, I don't WANT to wait. I want this to relish sweet success which really, so often alludes me. But the alternative to letting it come of slowly is to give up... and that, in my mind, just isn't an option.

So, I press on. Yesterday my grandma was admitted into the hospital, so my mom, sister, aunt and I were all together and hungry. We ate at a favorite restaurant in my hometown, and I tried to lighten my favorite meal up a little bit, but I used my bonus points and felt pretty good about my choices. Intending to eat something and go over my points is far different than being caught off guard and giving in to the ice cream in the freezer or the carmel corn in the pantry.

I'm learning to track everything - even my bonus points, which I used to just spend on one treat a week - and to move on. That's my plan. I've read where some people need to eat all their bonus points to lose. Others need to eat about half. Still others - zero. I'm testing the waters to see what works for me. That is what takes time. I'm losing slowly... but it's okay with me. I'm pressing on.

Discoveries of the week: Pizza Hut Veggie Lover's Pizza (HAND TOSSED crust) is really good at only 4.5 points a slice. Stay away from the breadsticks, which are 3 points a piece. You CAN go out for pizza and still stay on the plan!

COFFEE CREAMER IS FROM THE DEVIL. Okay, let's talk about this one. I've been loving the Starbucks Skinny lattes - yum. I can track them easily and they get me some milk, which is good. This week at our meeting, someone brought up coffee. I looked down a little sheepishly because if I'm honest, I don't track my coffee. It's not something I've ever wanted to know the points to. I get fat free creamer, but I knew deep down it was still high in sugar, and therefore - calories.

So, I cut back a little bit, but I still drink it - and I still don't track it. Add that to the fact that I'm eating bonus points, and I'm probably just skating by - creamer canceling out my good choices for the week. one lady in our group said, "I found out this week I'm drinking 350 calories a day in creamer." My eyes grew wide. Oh MY GOSH. I bet I'm drinking at least that many. what is that, like 7 points?? SEVEN? Going over 7 points a day is not going to fly.

So, our leader brought up sugar free syrups - you can get these at Wal-mart in the coffee aisle. I bought one - sugar free vanilla, but I haven't tried it yet. Time to be honest with myself, people. Not tracking doesn't make the calories go away... it just keeps you from losing the weight.

sigh. I would write more, but Sammers just woke up. did I mention he's sleeping in his bed now? Yeah. This one was about a three hour nap. God Bless the swaddling blanket. :)

Comments

[beth murphy]

I drink the sugar free hazelnut by International Delight. LOVE it! It's sweetened with splenda and really really yummy!!! :)