Losing It.

Super Fast update

I just updated my other blog, but I wanted to post on here quick. I weighed in on Thursday and was down another 1.8. That's 14 pounds now, and I hit a major road block this weekend: birthday cake. I haven't been able to quite get away from the sugar ever since. Ugh.

So, I need to get back to that first week the way I wanted to - when I didn't unconsciously pop food and candy in my mouth without tracking it first. I need to get back to my water - it's taken a back seat. I need to get to the grocery store and get cooking again. It's been too long. When things get busy, I head for the drive through - and while I track those things and make good choices, it's not good food - it's not good for me and I know it.

No more. Putting my foot down. Not willing to quit now - I've got about 14 pounds more to get to my pre-pregnancy weight (and then at least that much to get to my goal.) While I am doing pretty good, I know I could be doing better.

Need to be more diligent. That's my goal for this week - track everything, quit snacking without thinking. Make better choices. Make choices ON PURPOSE.

I'm going to win. One way or another! :)

You with me?

Scared of the scale

I gotta be honest. I'm terrified to get on the scale. I think I've doomed myself. Even though I have pretty much stayed under my points (with the exception of Easter, when I used 5 bonus points) I haven't been eating well. I've had too many sweets and snitched too much Easter candy. I think part of the problem too is having gone to too many places where I don't KNOW for sure the points I'm eating - leaving me to guess, which is honestly so scary - I almost always guess higher than I think I should and later find out it's still not high enough.

This past two weeks has been so rough for us - everyone has been sick and then the Easter service that we did - plus, Adam's been working like a madman this past could of weeks, so it's just been harder than usual. The house is finally semi-clean and I've been working on getting the laundry caught up (does that ever happen?) but I know for a fact that I am not as strict as I was when I started Weight Watchers.

So. What's the plan?

Well, I'm glad you asked. The way I see it, I could relapse and continue wearing pants that are fastened by a rubber band (most of the pants I have actually button now, but for comfort's sake, I still rely on the band!) or worse, I could gain back what I've already lost... or I can take action. Refocus. Go back to week one and review what it is I need to do to get back on the wagon.

I think the second choice is a little more appealing than hanging onto the extra fat. I can feel the skinny me inside just waiting to get out and wear comfy, cute clothes by summer. Oh my gosh, that's only a couple months away! I need to get busy!

The other thing I've been thinking about is exercise. Remember when I started - I was sooo gung ho about the exercise - I felt so great. Then I realized I wasn't losing any weight. So I quit the exercise to concentrate only on the eating and I started to lose. It makes absolutely NO sense why that happened - but I'm starting to think the weight loss is less important than how I feel - and honestly, how long can my body FIGHT losing if I'm exercising? I am thinking about starting some pilates or yoga simply because since I had Sam I've seriously been struggling to feel good - I feel like my muscles are all balled up and tense. Ick.

So, I think I might tackle that. I'm supposed to weigh in on Thursday. I'm nervous. I am really nervous. But, it's time to face the music. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away...

The other thing I wanted to say was about a comment Shaun left on my last post. (Shaun, I tried to email you again but it bounced! I'm sorry!) One thing I've discovered about WW is that you HAVE to eat all your points. For me, I lose when I eat all my points plus about half my bonus points. Remember, you're not really 'going over' your daily allowance if you're keeping it under those 35 flex points. (My saving grace this weekend thanks to the pistachio dessert. Nine points for a slice of that baby.) Anyway. That will frustrate you if you continue to skimp on your points because your body will hold onto everything! (It makes no sense does it - that you have to EAT to lose?) But, ya do!

:)

So, anyway. I'm hopping back up on the wagon. I'm feeling better and looking for a chance to do some yoga today. (Patty, can you come teach me personal lessons? I think it's gonna be ugly!) :)

Is anyone else where I'm at? Needing to refocus? Start over before you get out of control? Please say I'm not alone!!

And have a great rest of the week!

Easy this isn't.

I know I talked about sabotage the last time I posted - and I swore I wasn't going to do it, but well, I sort of did it. Not on purpose, it's just been the way things have gone this week. I weighed in Thursday and was down another 1.6 pounds. That's 13 pounds total! I was pretty excited. And then my real week started. We had a women's conference at the church which meant lots of really fattening food and chocolate. I managed to stay away from most of it, but not knowing exactly how many points I used is REALLY hard for me and throws off the rest of my day - or in this case, two days.

Then I realized I was nauseous just about every day and have been for about six days. This nausea is accompanied by a dull headache that will not let up. I've had it for literally seven days. I am STRESSED out right now - so it very well could be the fact that I clench my jaw when I sleep. I woke up two of the days and my jaw HURT so badly. It could be the lack of water I've been drinking. It could be the lack of sleep since Ethan has also been sick (we're going to the doctor this morning.) It could be the aching in my neck muscles - still bugging me after having Sam. It could be a number of things. Whatever it is, it set me off.

I think I've been nauseous because when there's not 'good' food in the house, I tend to just not eat. I'll eat like, an apple all day or something. This is horrible because then I get nauseous and then I feel like I need to eat to get rid of the nausea. It's a circle. It's been a really terrible week for me. So terrible that I think I'm going to avoid the scale this morning and just concentrate on following my plan exactly for next week. I am not saying you should just not weigh-in, but I'm saying for me - I need the break to refocus and not get discouraged.

I have discovered about Weight Watchers that this plan really works - and it works best if you account for every bite of food you put in your mouth. When you inadvertantly (sp?) inadvertently? No clue how to spell that - anyway when you MINDLESSLY throw tiny quiches or choclates in your mouth, you aren't writing them down and then you are going over without realizing it. The other thing is that the things you choose don't stick to your body the same way. For instance, the apple I ate last night is digested differently than the entire bag of popcorn I ate the night before. (not the low fat kind of popcorn with a little bit of oil and parmasean, just straight from the bag Orville Redenbacher popcorn because I was nauseous and needed something quick.)

It's just different. So although I am exhausted today and Ethan did NOT sleep last night, I have decided today to focus on keeping something in my stomach and eating the RIGHT kinds of foods - not necessarily the quickest foods - and drinking tons of water even though my big jug is missing. I will get back on track in spite of the challenges I'm facing right now - pain being the most annoying of these.

sigh. No one said it would be easy, right?

Weighing in

I don't think I could ever do this without Weight Watchers, and I'll tell you why. Last week was hands down, one of the worst weeks of my life. The stress was enormous. We have a lot going on and it seemed that Murphy's Law was in full effect... everything that could go wrong did.

From the flood in our basement to double booking ourselves to changing plans at the very last minute to things spilling and kids getting sick enough for the words 'emergency room' to be spoken... it just wasn't a good week.

Typically, it would've been a week to eat... a lot. With my sweet friend Heather's comment about being under attack locked in my head, I went on about each day, armed with the perfect number of points I was supposed to consume. I have started using about half of my bonus points each week and then half on the day I weigh in (which is one treat I have been wanting - like a mocha or something) - so knowing that, I was able to stay within my points.

Thursday was a crazy day. Adam did the chapel at Sophia's school, so I went there, then ran to Weight Watchers to weigh in then ran to IHOP where Adam was eating with the members of the praise team that had come to do chapel with him then to a women's meeting at the church then to a birthday lunch. The good news is that I was down another 1.8 pounds. I've lost about 11.8 pounds now, and I'm really starting to notice. I've found that people asking me how I'm doing it or telling me I look like I'm losing really encourages me to keep going.

About this time is when a nasty little thing called SELF SABOTAGE kicks in. You start to relax, feel good about the progress you're making and maybe let up a little bit on tracking points or being careful about what you're putting in your mouth. Don't do this. Do not let up. Press on and do not be swayed by the voices telling you "Oh, just splurge... you deserve it... you just had a baby... you can eat cake once in awhile..." Listen instead to my voice telling you (from experience) "You will feel worse if you eat it... think about how good you're going to feel when you get on that scale to weigh in... even if it's only you and bathroom wall celebrating your success. Think about how good it feels to be in control instead of giving in to every food whim you've got."

It's been just under three months since I started doing this. Granted, I would rather have a bigger number to boast, but I have to stay focused on the positives. Here is my progress so far:

I know - I look really happy in that last one. The truth is, Adam was having trouble getting the camera to take the picture and this was the best of all three 'concerned' looks on my face. sorry 'bout that. I think you can tell the difference better from the side:

and can we say 'posture issues'?

I could rip on myself all day, but I won't. Instead I'll say 'job well done... so far...' and refuse to sabotage myself this early in the game.

I hope you are doing well!

GREAT dessert & quick lunch idea

I'm up to my eyeballs in scrapbooking mess, but I had to take a second to post this. At my WW meeting Thursday, the ladies were talking about this cake. My ears perked up because of my insane sweet tooth and that afternoon when I was out shopping, I grabbed the stuff and made it the next day. It's SOOOO easy and GOOD!

You just take a package of just add water Angel Food Cake mix (Pillsbury is supposedly better than Betty Crocker) - then, instead of adding water to it, add crushed pineapple. I added two small cans so there was enough juice. Then you bake it for about a half an hour for 30 minutes and that's it. Cut it in 12 pieces and you've got 2 point slices - 24 pieces would obviously be 1 point. It is soooo yummy. Very sweet and light and just plain good!! I'm having a little trouble today because I am starving, but it's good to have this stuff around the house.

One other yummy discovery - I have a hard time thinking of food as anything other than what it's supposed to be. For instance, the extra lean ground beef patties were always - in my mind - to be used for hamburgers. You know, slice of cheese, ketchup, pickle if you like it - eat it on a bun kind of burgers. Especially good with tomato, lettuce and a tiny bit of mayo. I'm sure that's a healthy meal.

Anyway. I decided the patties are really just for convenience and they give me a great one person portion without having to waste the rest of the meat - so I sprayed a pan with Pam, threw in some onions, mushrooms, a little bit of pepper and garlic and then fried the hamburger right in there. The patties are four points - the rest of the stuff is free. No bun - I just ate it that way. It's really pretty good - so easy - and filling. Those patties are definitely for more than burgers!!

:) (Though the occasional burger just cant' be beat!)

Back to work I go!