My Weblog

A New Blog.

I decided after well, very little thought, that this weight loss journey needed its own blog. A new blog. A separate blog. A place to talk strictly weight-loss and not scrapbooking and kids and husband and all that jazz. So, I started a new blog. It's very plain right now, but until I get some time (final book deadline: Feb. 26: Life resumes)... that's how it will stay. But that blog will discuss all the ins and outs of weight loss. This blog will be a journal of everything else. You know... all those super-exciting tales I like to tell about this crazy little life I'm living. Or wait. Maybe not.

Anyway. Here I will talk about the other stuff. HERE I will talk weight loss. My new blog is called LOSING IT. I hope you'll check it out... and comment. I'd love to know I'm not alone on this journey.

In other news, today was a snow day. Well, a COLD day... there really wasn't much snow. Lots of ice last night, but just really COLD temps this morning, so the kids were all home reeking havoc. I love having Sophia home, but I think she gets bored. I don't think she wants to admit it because she doesn't want to hurt my feelings, but the girl was now 'snow day' excited this morning.

I finished up some Scarlet Lime layouts this morning - this new kit is so cute. I love the way Christy puts stuff together. In fact, once I've got the assignments done, I keep using the kits like crazy. I've never been that great at mixing and matching papers from various manufacturers, so this is awesome! I wrote an article awhile back on kit clubs and Heather Burch said it's like having a personal shopper... I love that! It's so true!

Anyway, I think Christy is going to post those layouts in a couple of days so I'll post them here. If you're thinking about a kit club, I highly recommend that one! :)

I'm thinking I need to do a giveaway on my blog. I'm going to put some stuff together and give it away. And I'm going to track down the give away for MARGO who sent me her address in the midst of our big move! I've got to get to UPS anyway, so might as well give some stuff away!! I'll work on that in the next couple of days!

For now, I've got to get these kids in bed! 'night!

Hard pressed on every side.

I'm tired.

It's been a long day. Sam had his 2 month check up this morning, which meant three shots and a liquid vaccine for Rotovirus. I know I didn't spell that right, but like I said, I'm tired.

The shots have never bothered my kids before, but Sam is fussy. Not at the moment. At the moment, he is sleeping. I'm glad he's sleeping. I'm sad I have to wake him to eat so I can go to bed. I HATE that he had a rough day. ugh.

Seems like when I have things to do in the morning, I have such a hard time getting started with my day. I have so much to do - lots of deadlines coming up - tons of stuff going on at the church... and I feel like I didn't get anything done. I hate feeling unproductive. To make matters worse, the weather is terrible. You wouldn't believe the way the wind sounds against our house. It's scary.

Anyway. I'm sad for Sam.

Sophia won a speech meet at her school last week, which means she a couple of other students are going to Chicago in March for another (bigger) speech meet. This brings back so many memories. I competed on the Bradley University Forensics team in college. Typically people do this sort of thing for fun. I can remember lying in my dorm room freshman year, willing myself to sleep. We had to get up to meet the bus EARLY - like 5 a.m. (all dressed in a suit and heels, ready to compete after a bus ride to wherever). Anyway, knowing I had to wake up early put me at a disadvantage when it came to hitting any sort of REM cycle... but the worst part of it all was my nerves.

I'm not sure why I ever thought it was a good idea for me to be a performer of any kind. Looking back on it now, I find myself baffled by the idea. And yet, I loved it. Perhaps I was trying to stand out in spite of my insecurities - putting on a show of some sort even though what I really wanted to do was hide behind a rock. Instead, I hid behind alternate personas... characters I could make up in my head and still come across as sane.

The speech team at Bradley is a force to be reckoned with. They always were. They are so in it to win it. National championships like crazy. It was sooo intimidating. And yet, I sort of wish I'd stuck it out. I gave it up to just do theatre - no judges - no trophies - just being onstage. Something I honestly don't have any desire to ever do again. Isn't that strange?

So, when I think about Sophia going and doing this, part of me is really excited. She's really going to be a great little actress. I can already see it. She reads so well (she'll tell you just how well if you give her the chance) and it's funny - she actually takes direction. But her instincts are pretty amazing. Sometimes I think it'd be fun to get her into more acting... and then I remember my nerves. As nervous as I was for myself, having her on a stage would shoot ever single last nerve in my body to pieces. I'll wait and let her decide if she wants to do more of it. In the meantime, we're going to Chicago to watch her. I'm excited. :)

I don't have much to report for Ethan except that we signed him up for school last week. He is sooo excited he gets to go like Sophia. I'm not so excited. He's so good at home. I love being home with him. All day it's just me and the boys, and I can go anywhere and I know he'll be good. He's a little rowdy sometimes, but so so good. I'm lucky with that one. He's funny too. The other night, out of nowhere he said, "Hey Dad! You're a MEATBALL!"

A what? Where in the world did he get that? It was so funny - and so random.

As far as my weight loss goes... I haven't weighed myself again, but I didn't exercise today. I hit the ground running when I woke up this morning - tons to do - and to make it worse, I went over my points by two. So, I'm into my flex points, I guess. bah.

Thursday will be my first real meeting since having Sam. Someone told me my uterus is still enlarged. Does anyone know for sure if that's true? I would be lying if I said I wasn't annoyed with the rate of my weight loss so far. Losing it after having a baby is no walk in the park. I honestly think this is why so many women just never get it off after having that last one. It's HARDER. It'd be so easy to just eat all the cookies that seem to have made their way into my pantry... doing this the right way is a choice. But it's not the kind of choice you can just make once and then consider it done. You have to make it constantly.

My brother-in-law always talks about being intentional. And I think it's about being intentional in everything. I have to be intentional (make up my mind to do this) every.single.day. It's not easy. It's getting harder and harder. I read the message boards over at the WW website and it's full of "I lost four pounds this week!" and "I've lost 20 pounds in four weeks!" And I'm like, "HUH??" What am I doing wrong? And then I think about diving into the (insert name of sweet dessert here - any one of them is fine...) And I can see how this PULL is so strong.

I honestly think this is such a sneaky little way to get me off track. Because think about it. If I eat something I know I don't need, I'll inevitably feel guilty which leads to more sabotage... which leads to weight gain... which leads to unhappiness. Vicious cycle.

The good thing is, I'm wise to it. I actually feel sometimes like I am on the outside of my body looking in - and I can see this sort of torment trying to penetrate this focused wall I've got surrounding me right now. Throwing darts at me in the shape of chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes.

And I have to be honest... when I am having a bad day and I WANT to run to the kitchen, this blog always comes to mind. "but I said I am going to win..." "but I'll have to confess that I ate that pan of brownies..." It's really helping me. A lot. To write about this. Even if no one read it, I would still get a lot out of it, but I know there are people reading because I'm getting this wonderful emails from people exactly in my situation.

Ready to make a change.

I'm doing it. It may not be coming off like I want it to, but I do have to report that I bought the next size down in my jeans and I actually wore them today. They aren't even really that tight. So, I guess it's working, right?? It's just not showing me the numbers!

Well, Sam needs to eat and I need to sleep... but I am still in this thing... pressed but not crushed...

'night.

baby showers = food

...and I WIN. ha. Adam made such a good dinner tonight. I love that he cooks. :) I can't even tell you what it was that was so good. It was chicken (really good chicken) with asparagus (my new favorite vegetable - do you believe I've only recently discovered it? I mean, as a food. I've always known it as a bouncing cartoon character with a cute voice and a yellow hat. :) Oh, and carrots. There were carrots.

Anyway. I ate because I knew I had a baby shower for Adam's former assistant who is having twins, and I knew there would be all kinds of food there. I could easily make a meal of all the snack type foods and desserts, but I wasn't going to go there hungry.

Instead I went there with eight points left and the knowledge that mini chocolate eclairs are each one point. I am happy to say... I did good! I had a couple of the little things, but I am sure I came under my points and I am so happy!

I also have to say that even though Skinny Sister thought this was OLD news... Starbucks has these 'skinny lattes' (which Sister tells me are just made with skim milk - duh!) Well, today I had one. The other thing about them is they have sugar free syrup. The one I tried was Vanilla and it was really good especially for only 90 calories (means that I have a replacement for the 7 point drink I used to love!)

So anyway, I've been running around all day. We refinanced our home this morning, and wow. Saving money feels so good! Now I think I'm going to go to bed early. Isn't my life exciting?

I just wanted to log on quick to say... even at baby showers - you can still win! :)

Workout on SUNDAY... Who me???

Yep. You read it here, folks. I cannot believe I did it either. Do you believe I'd actually had myself convinced that working out was part of the reason the scale stands still. (Actually, yesterday I was down 2.5 pounds, so I guess that's not entirely true.) But still, compared to the last time I did WW, this is slow-moving.

See, the truth is, I don't LOVE working out... until after I do it. I can talk myself out of it sooo easily. I mean, come on, who WANTS to jump around looking like a fool, all the while making goofy faces at a baby who is oddly interested in his seemingly off-her-bean momma? It's not the ideal way to go... and I'm busy right now, so it makes it even easier to say, "Gosh, I just don't have time."

And that's true. I don't HAVE time. (Who has time for anything, really??) You have to MAKE time. So. Today, without even spending any mental energy on it, I came home from church and popped in Billy. I love the Biggest Loser, but Billy does focus a little more on the abs, which, let's face it, is what the post-partum crew I belong to really needs.

And I did some free weights. And I downed 32 ounces of water during the workout. And afterwards, I felt SO GOOD. I got hardly any sleep last night thanks to the Samster, but I feel great. So energized. Isn't it funny that those fitness people actually know what they're talking about when they tell you the exercise will make you feel good? Who knew?

Anyway, now I'm working on a few layouts, but I just finished reading my February issue of Memory Makers, and I had forgotten this was the issue with my article about Scrapbooking Your Mistakes. Anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty transparent. I mean, give me a minute, I'll tell you all about my cellulite or my borderline social anxiety disorder (not really - but I really do stress out in crowds of people)... I am no stranger to my own flaws. And it occurred to me that so often in our scrapbooks, we focus on all the pretty, happy, shiny things in life. And let's face it, life is about so much more than that. I mean, our kids are going to pull those albums out in a few years and wonder whose life we were writing about.

So, that's where the idea came from... and this article is important to me because of that. Some of my favorite pages are in this issue. Some of the mistakes are humorous like this one:

and others are more serious like this one:

But they both mean something to me - the real me... can't hide behind hot rolled big hair forever.

Anyway. If you haven't read this issue of MM, you should check it out. I really love so many things about it. Becky Fleck's column on Page Maps, the 30 minutes or less layouts, Debbie Hodge's ideas for 2-pagers. And the reader's gallery is full of awesome layouts. I am loving it!!

I also got my newest kit from The Scarlet Lime. And I have to say, Christy's kits are awesome. I have them all in a file at my feet when I scrapbook, and I find myself going back to them over and over - but none of the pages end up looking the same. I love the original paper and stamps... and how she mixes patterns - something I'm really, really bad at. But anyway, this is one kit club worth exploring a little.

So. That's my Sunday in a nutshell. Still plugging. Going back to the meetings this upcoming Thursday, so that will become my weigh in day. I also measured myself in various areas to try and gauge if the pounds aren't coming off, but I'm still making a difference. I'll let ya know how that pans out.

I've got a few things to work on before I head back to church tonight. I hope you're having a good one!   

fading dreams.

I'm sitting on my couch practically in the dark, fireplace heating my feet and the television muted in the corner. Sam is asleep in his car seat ( have I mentioned we made the grave mistake of putting him to sleep in his car seat and that's still the only place he'll actually sleep?) sigh.

I feel sort of pensive. I don't want to think about my weight loss right now (though this morning's scale read my lowest number yet). I don't want to think about the fact that Sunday morning comes so early for me and it's a long day. I don't want to think about the throbbing headache or the impending deadlines or the things I should've done today that I just didn't do.

Really, I should be in bed. Asleep. Totally knocked out... and yet, sleep eludes me.

I've been thinking a lot about those big dreams... you know the ones you had when you were young? Too young to know about mortgage payments and student loans? The dreams that entailed that life you thought you'd live. Tonight my sister and I took my mom out for her belated birthday. My mom said that Skinny sister and I were totally the reverse of what she thought we'd be. Skinny Sister had always wanted to be the wife and the mom. I'd always wanted the career.

Something changed.

My sister is going to school to become a teacher and hopefully a guidance counselor. I am perfectly content to be home with my kids, writing like crazy and helping Adam when he needs me. Even though the laundry still piles up and the dishes still get dirty waaaay too quickly, this is the life I've got. And I really, really like it. I love it. I sometimes wonder if it just took me all those years to really figure out who I was? To stop trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be? I guess we all sort of believe we're suppoesd to live up to some expectation of something... and that's what I always did - I lived my life for other people.

Sometimes I wonder if I ran into people from college... would I be embarrassed to say I didn't go out and conquer the world? I'm a stay at home mom. I clean up poo and pick up the exact same 12 cars all day long from every single room in my house. Exciting.

And yet, I would not trade my life for the world.

I am blessed beyond reason. I've still got those big dreams. At least some of them... but lots of them just don't seem important anymore.

Isn't it funny how our perspective shifts? We grow up and all that WAS important just fades back into the woodwork...

a Kashi review

Okay, I'm actually (finally) right in the middle of doing some work (how did CHA sneak up so quickly??) but I wanted to take a minute to talk about Kashi. More specifically, Kashi cereal:

I've always *heard* about Kashi but I am not a brave eater. When it comes to food, I stick with what I know. When I watch shows like Iron Chef, I always think there is no way I could judge because there's sooo much they put in their food that I could never put in my mouth. I've been that way about Kashi. I'm not sure why. I know how good it's supposed to be for you. HOWEVER... I am not a squirrel. I do not want to eat like one.

So. At the recommendation of my beloved sister, who is really ridiculous in her weight loss considering that she is at her GOAL WEIGHT (Why is she still losing??), I decided to pick up a box of this cereal. I knew flax seed was good for you, though seriously - would you ever think to eat it if no one told you it was good for you??

A couple of days ago, three, actually, I tried my first bowl of Kashi. You get 1 cup for 4 points. Usually with cereal, that's not enough. I ate a bite and my first thought was "This tastes like puffed cardboard." I mean, really. It does. I told Adam I might as well go gnaw on a tree branch. So, I called Skinny Sister and told her so. She instructed me in the proper consumption of Kashi cereal. "No, you have to put a banana and honey on it." Well, I packed my honey. It was straight from the hive (a gift from some people at church who raise bees) and I've yet to find it, so instead, I added one half of a thinly sliced banana (I stress thinly because it makes the taste travel further...) and about half a teaspoon of Splenda. (Please don't tell me how bad for you Splenda is. I promise when I find the honey, I'll use the honey!)

Anyway... the first time I ate the puffed cardboard, I looked at the bowl and thought, "Seriously... I have to eat ALL of that??" This time, I realized Kashi is really good. I mean, with a tiny bit of doctoring I now have a cereal that totally fills me up for the whole morning (and I eat at 7:30, so it's a long time!) and I actually think I would eat it as a snack in the afternoon.

The difference between the way I'm doing it this time is that I'm really stressing more fresh foods and good for you foods instead of just 'low in points' foods. My fridge is packed. I eat tons of fruit and veggies. I cook now! (I seriously do. I'm so proud of myself!) :) So, Kashi is added to the list of good for you easy breakfasts! I definitely recommend it (with the banana of course!)

Tonight I've got a date! I have no idea what we're going to do, but I'm saving some points for the Olive Garden (points for restaurants are happily located at: www.dwlz.com) and I'm thinking the CHicken Giordino is perfect for 8 points. :)

Have a wonderful Friday night! Do something fun! Play board games with the kids! Go out on a date! Eat Kashi!

:)

it stings a little.

I've made a decision to go back to the Weight Watchers meetings. I'm not sure what cinched it for me. It might've been that going at it alone isn't working. Possibly it was the commercial I saw yesterday for WW where they said "People who go to meetings lose three times more weight than people  who go at it alone". Could've been when my sister's mother-in-law (kinda confusing) asked me yesterday if I wanted to go back with her. She's just started going back and I think she got on it in the first place when my sister and I had success pre-Sam... so, just knowing there's someone there I know - who I can be accountable to in a way... that makes me feel better.

So, today, I had to run to Target after I picked Sophia up from school (formula is on sale for anyone who needs it)... and I decided to try on a couple of pairs of pants while I was there.

Why?

Why do I do this to myself?

First off, the jeans I have are too big and too small. Right smack between two god-awful sizes. So, I found a couple of pairs that were just like my favorite maternity pants - elastic waist. lol I know they sound like your momma's pants, but they're actually really cute and very comfy.

Remind me not to ever take Sophia with me to try on clothes.

I made a comment about having to get a couple of things because of my "Sam-Belly"

To which she replied... "Yeah, and your big, fat legs."

hahaha.

I was so taken aback by it because, you know, you just don't say that kind of thing to someone... and my first thought was, "Oh my gosh, I hope she doesn't tell other kids things like that." And honestly, it didn't upset me at all. I mean, it's true right now - and I know it's for a somewhat good reason because I can't just get belly pregnant - I'm all around the body pregnant.

But when I got home later, I started to realize it did sorta sting a little bit. Flashbacks to grade school or something. I know I'm doing so much better with my body image because a few years ago, that comment would devestated me. I wouldn't have eaten for WEEKS. I don't feel that way. I just feel like I want to be a better example for her. For all of my kids. I want them to eat healthy because it's what's best for them.

And you know, I thought twice about sharing this on my blog, but most of what I'm writing about is my weight loss journey... and this has the potential to be a big bump in the road. I mean, let's face it... emotional eaters can find any excuse to eat. But tonight, with just three points left for the day, I think I've got a delicious organic apple calling my name... and that'll be just fine thank you.

:) So, even though it stings a bit, I'm not letting this one ruin me. I may not be seeing the progress as quickly as I want, but I do know enough to know that this weight has no choice but to come off.

And that's that.

'night.

I thought you could use a smile...

From Sam.

:)

Yeah. That made my whole day.

a few recipes to share...

Before I launch into my typical weight-watching spiel and share the three new recipes I tried today, I have to say that I am phenomenally sad by this.

I was feeding Sam when the crawl on the tv reported the news of Heath Ledger's death. Adam and I were sooo looking forward to the Dark Knight largely because of Christian Bale, but also largely because of what we've read about Heath Ledger's performance in this movie. Isn't it strange how you can be so sad and affected by the death of someone you don't know at all? Someone whose talent you admire, but someone who is so far removed from your daily life?

I think any time someone this age - especially with a new baby - dies, it's horribly sad. And given that Brad Renfro, another young actor died last week, I would expect one more. For whatever reason, the deaths of celebrities always seem to travel in threes.

And that makes me sad.

That said, today was a typical day around here. Okay, so it really wasn't. It started off typically until Adam arrived at Sophia's school only to find that he was only one of three other cars in the parking lot. We had no idea school had been cancelled due to snow. It wasn't snowing that badly when we went to bed, but we got quite a bit, and the roads were terrible. We just didn't know until he got out into the thick of it.

So, then for whatever reason Adam decided to do all his writing from home. I was like "You're on my computer! Get out of my way!" lol - (I'm really only half kidding - it was hard to get stuff done, but I do like having him around.)

I finally got my February issue of Memory Makers. I really think something is screwy with my subscription, so I'm going to have to check into that. But I also got a little gift from a very VERY cool company I hadn't heard about. It's called Yellow Fence. Anyway, as a gift for my new little bundle (SAM) and the new big brother and sister, they sent me the COOLEST tee shirts and a onesie for Sam. They've got these logos on them:

And this one:

Are these not adorable?

They have so many cool tee shirts and bags and I know I'm going to have fun looking around this website. I'm not sure how I got to be so lucky to get these adorable tees, but you've got to check them out!!

Okay, onto the recipes.

I have to first confess. I didn't exercise today. I know. I feel horrible. But I think I'm going to double up tomorrow and do the cardio and strength training. The kids were playing and Adam was working - with them being occupied, I just couldn't take the tv away from them. Then I started getting stressed with all the stuff I've got to do and like always happens when I don't wake up and work out... the day got away from me.

So, tomorrow. And the rest of the week. My eating has been good today though. I tried so many new recipes. Three to be exact. And I've still got about 8 points left, but I've done better at getting all my points the past two days. I thought that could be part of my problem.

So. Here's the recipes I tried...all are from the Weight Watchers website.

Vegetable Dumplings with Soy dipping sauce:

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 20 min
Cooking Time: 18 min
Level of Difficulty: Moderate 

·                                 2 sprays cooking spray

·                                 2 tsp olive oil

·                                 1 1/2 cup green cabbage, shredded, or cole slaw mix (shredded green cabbage and carrots)

·                                 1/2 cup carrot(s), shredded

·                                 2 medium garlic clove(s), minced

·                                 2 medium scallion(s), minced, divided

·                                 2 tsp low-sodium soy sauce

·                                 24 items wonton wrapper(s), half of a 12 oz package

·                                 1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce

·                                 1 tsp sesame oil

Instructions

·                                 Preheat oven to 350ºF. Coat a large baking sheet with cooking spray.

·                                 Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add cabbage, carrots, garlic and 1 minced scallion; sauté until cabbage wilts, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in 2 teaspoons of soy sauce.

·                                 Place wonton wrappers on a flat surface. Drop vegetable mixture by teaspoonfuls onto center of each wrapper. Moisten edges of wrapper with wet fingers, fold over one corner to make a triangle and press sides together to seal. Transfer filled wrappers to prepared baking sheet and coat surface with cooking spray.

·                                 Bake until wontons are golden brown, about 15 minutes.

        Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine remaining 1/4 cup of soy sauce, remaining minced scallion and sesame oil. Mix well and serve with wontons. Yields 4 wontons and 1 tablespoon of dipping sauce per serving.

       Okay, these definitely are not a complete lunch. I was hungry pretty soon after I ate them. They were pretty good though, and I could really see serving them if we had people over (because you know, that happens so often.) The dipping sauce is good, but I couldn't find sesame oil in the grocery store. In reading about sesame oil, I learned that you can't really substitute anything for it. You miss the point. The thing about this particular oil is that it's used for its taste. So, I think I was missing that a little. But overall, a really good snack. Yum. (Especially if you like salty!)

         Okay, recipe two:

Summer Corn, Bacon and Potato Chowder

POINTS® Value: 4
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 20 min
Cooking Time: 15 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy 

Ingredients

·                                 1 medium Yukon Gold potato(es)

·                                 1 sprays cooking spray

·                                 1/2 cup celery, chopped

·                                 1/4 cup onion(s), chopped (or 1 large shallot)

·                                 4 piece corn on the cob, kernels removed with a knife

·                                 1 cup sweet red pepper(s), diced

·                                 4 oz Canadian-style bacon, diced

·                                 2 cup fat-free skim milk

·                                 1/2 tsp table salt

·                                 1/4 tsp black pepper

·                                 1/8 tsp hot pepper sauce, or to taste

Instructions

·                                 Puncture potato in several places with a fork; microwave on high power until tender, turning over once, about 8 minutes. Allow to cool; peel and mash.

·                                 Meanwhile, coat a large saucepan with cooking spray. Add celery, onion, corn and red pepper; sauté over medium-high heat, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes.

·                                 Stir bacon and milk into saucepan; stir in mashed potato and mix well. Season with salt, pepper and hot pepper sauce; stir to combine. Cover and simmer 10 minutes (do not allow to boil). Yields about 1 1/2 cups per serving.

Notes

Feel free to substitute your favorite fresh vegetables like asparagus and broccoli for the red pepper. Or to save time, substitute 2 cups of frozen corn and 1 cup of frozen, diced bell pepper for the fresh corn and red pepper.

        My notes:

        YUM. This soup is so good. I used canned corn and seriously - YUM. I love soup - especially when it's freezing outside. This one was so filling - for 1 1/2 cups, you get a lot of veggies, so it's completely satisfying! I definitely recommend adding salt - and honestly, at first glance, you might think it needs cheese (I would've added cheese if I'd had any fat free, but I hate that stuff) - and honestly, it doesn't need it. It's a GREAT soup. I'm so glad I've got leftovers!

        Okay - my last recipe, which I haven't actually eaten yet because these tasty critters are still cooling in my kitchen:

Banana Muffins with Tart Lemon Icing

POINTS® Value: 3
Servings: 18
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 30 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy 

Ingredients

·                                 1/2 cup sugar

·                                 6 Tbsp unsalted butter, softened, divided

·                                 1 large egg(s)

·                                 2 tsp vanilla extract, divided

·                                 2 cup all-purpose flour

·                                 2 tsp baking powder

·                                 1 tsp baking soda

·                                 1/4 cup fat-free skim milk

·                                 4 large banana(s), ripe, mashed

·                                 1 cup powdered sugar

·                                 1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice

·                                 1 tsp lemon zest, strips, or more to taste

Instructions

·                                 Preheat oven to 350ºF. Line 18 muffin holes with paper liners.

·                                 Place sugar and 5 tablespoons of butter in a large bowl; cream with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add egg and 1 teaspoon of vanilla; beat until thoroughly mixed.

·                                 In another large bowl, mix together flour, baking powder and baking soda. Add half of flour mixture to butter mixture; beat well with mixer. Add milk and remaining flour mixture; beat until batter is combined and then fold in mashed bananas.

·                                 Spoon batter into muffin liners about 3/4 full. Bake until muffins start to brown and a tester inserted in center of a muffin comes out clean, about 25 to 30 minutes. Allow muffins to cool in pan for about 2 minutes; remove to a wire rack and cool completely before icing.

·                                 Meanwhile, to make icing, combine powdered sugar, remaining tablespoon of butter, lemon juice, zest, and remaining teaspoon of vanilla in a medium bowl; beat with an electric mixer until creamy, about 1 to 2 minutes. Ice cooled muffins; cover and refrigerate any uneaten muffins. Yields 1 muffin per serving.

Notes

If the mouth-puckering lemon icing isn't enough flavor for you, try adding 1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger to the flour mixture.

        They smell amazing. I wish I'd read that little note there. I think I would've added the cinnamon and ginger and nutmeg, but ah well. I'll let you know how they taste!

Okay, that's about it for me. I've got a layout to finish up and some contacts to take out. Tomorrow is a new day. I will exercise like a mad woman. :) I hope it's going well for you! And seriously... prayers for Heath Ledger's family. Lots and lots of prayers.

Okay.

Here are all the reasons I could possibly be totally stuck at the same weight:

In no particular order.

1. My hormones are still completely whacked out. (I've read it could take 3 months before they return to normal. Bah.)

2. My workout isn't hard enough.

3. I'm building muscle (ha. After two strength training sessions? Who am I kidding?)

4. I'm not eating enough during the day, storing all my points up for the evening like a squirrel squirrling away nuts for the winter.

5. I'm over 30 this time. 

6. I'm the butt of some really mean, really cruel joke.

Yes, after another week of diligently counting points - not using bonus points - and exercising 4 times, I am STILL at the same weight I was last week.

Seriously?

This stinks.

Yesterday, I was really - not even frustrated - just sort of ticked off. It's a good thing I didn't throw the scale out the window into the back yard. The only thing preventing that crazy act was the fact that I'm a tightwad and the thought that one day I'd want the scale back, and then I'd have to go spend money on one saved that little devil's life.

Isn't it funny how many reasons we can come up with though - reasons why it's possible things aren't going our way? There are so many extenuating circumstances, but the bottom line is, none of them are making the scale move any quicker. 

So. Yesterday, I devoured my bonus points like I always used to on weigh-in day (I firmly believe you need a day where you let yourself eat a treat or two- the stuff you deny yourself during the week. It just keeps everything in balance.) And today - I brought my own breakfast to our women's meeting at the church. (Did you know English muffins are really low in points? And that Simply Fruit Spreadable fruit by, I think, Smuckers, is really good. 1 Tbsp. is just one point, so it's a great little alternative to sugarier jellies. Is sugarier a word?)

This morning, I did my workout - careful to add extra intensity where I could. I'm not quitting - even if it takes longer. Like my sister said, "The alternative is that you just let yourself go..." and no amount of discouragement would make that okay.

So, I'm plugging. Bad results, but I'm still plugging.

Plug. Plug. Plug.

Off to go bowling with a bunch of our friends. Random bowling in the middle of the day. Doesn't that sound fun? Maybe I'll bring my camera. :) I'm a pretty terrible bowler.

Hope your scale is moving quicker than mine!