it stings a little.

I've made a decision to go back to the Weight Watchers meetings. I'm not sure what cinched it for me. It might've been that going at it alone isn't working. Possibly it was the commercial I saw yesterday for WW where they said "People who go to meetings lose three times more weight than people  who go at it alone". Could've been when my sister's mother-in-law (kinda confusing) asked me yesterday if I wanted to go back with her. She's just started going back and I think she got on it in the first place when my sister and I had success pre-Sam... so, just knowing there's someone there I know - who I can be accountable to in a way... that makes me feel better.

So, today, I had to run to Target after I picked Sophia up from school (formula is on sale for anyone who needs it)... and I decided to try on a couple of pairs of pants while I was there.

Why?

Why do I do this to myself?

First off, the jeans I have are too big and too small. Right smack between two god-awful sizes. So, I found a couple of pairs that were just like my favorite maternity pants - elastic waist. lol I know they sound like your momma's pants, but they're actually really cute and very comfy.

Remind me not to ever take Sophia with me to try on clothes.

I made a comment about having to get a couple of things because of my "Sam-Belly"

To which she replied... "Yeah, and your big, fat legs."

hahaha.

I was so taken aback by it because, you know, you just don't say that kind of thing to someone... and my first thought was, "Oh my gosh, I hope she doesn't tell other kids things like that." And honestly, it didn't upset me at all. I mean, it's true right now - and I know it's for a somewhat good reason because I can't just get belly pregnant - I'm all around the body pregnant.

But when I got home later, I started to realize it did sorta sting a little bit. Flashbacks to grade school or something. I know I'm doing so much better with my body image because a few years ago, that comment would devestated me. I wouldn't have eaten for WEEKS. I don't feel that way. I just feel like I want to be a better example for her. For all of my kids. I want them to eat healthy because it's what's best for them.

And you know, I thought twice about sharing this on my blog, but most of what I'm writing about is my weight loss journey... and this has the potential to be a big bump in the road. I mean, let's face it... emotional eaters can find any excuse to eat. But tonight, with just three points left for the day, I think I've got a delicious organic apple calling my name... and that'll be just fine thank you.

:) So, even though it stings a bit, I'm not letting this one ruin me. I may not be seeing the progress as quickly as I want, but I do know enough to know that this weight has no choice but to come off.

And that's that.

'night.

Comments

[krista]

way to go with the apple! you win :)
i have a 9 1/2 week old and i am fighting this prego weight...big time. it is not coming off. i tried on jeans at old navy today. which amounted to a whole lot of NO FUN! your blog has been inspiring to me and encouraging me to try just a lil harder. i bought the billy blanks dvd's and do them when my sweet baby girl gives me a few moments of peace. thank you for the inspiration :) i know you will reach your goal. hang in there!

[Sarah]

I went back to WW for the first time in a long time yesterday! I had been doing points on my own, but I decided the accountability of paying for it would be good for me. So, today I am on the program for sure, and feel so much better already about myself just knowing I'm really doing it. You'll get to your goal. Keep hanging in there!

[Susan Beth Breuner]

Good choice with the apple! Glad you'll have a friendly face at the WW meeting - that is a big help! Everything that gives you support is worth trying! And, my son has made those comments that sting a little too. It always haunts me a bit while I try to process it. But I know he loves me, which is a good lesson - my child, and really most people, don't decide whether or not to love me based on the state of my weight. That is a good thing. And most importantly, God loves me no matter what weight problems I am having!
Keep your chin up!

[Cyndi Hoehn]

Your struggles only mean you are human. All people have the capability to hurt with words (meant or not). People also have the ability to not let words break them.

Good luck at the meetings - don't forget we're rooting for ya!

[Jill]

You are doing so great!!

The other day my 2.5 year old was in the bathroom when I got out of the shower. He totally look at me and said 'momma you fat'. I almost fell over because like you say. We as adults know not to say stuff like that but the honestly is refreshing even if it is a bit rude in the delivery. It makes me want to get on the elliptical a bit more.

I also wanted to let you know I totally scraplifted a scarlet lime page of yours (not the abcs one - that is for a later date). It was one with Ethan and a huge star (I think Jan kit). I posted a link to mine on my blog.

Happy almost Sunday!!!