Relationships.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that because we're pastors, Adam and I never fight. We do. It's rare because truthfully, we just don't have that much to argue about. Plus, we've learned to choose our battles. I mean, why fight with him because he insists on leaving yesterday's clothes in a heap on the floor next to the bed? A heap that is hidden from the entrance of the room and therefore goes undetected until later on in the week when the heap becomes a pile which by then is out of control. I mean, why? Really? There's no point. Instead, I pick the clothes up, glaring at him, and chuck them the five feet away into the hamper. Typically I'll add a sarcastic dig like "Wow, that was hard."

But you see, I'm a grown up, so that one little dig is all I allow myself. (Very adult of me, no?)

Adam is a laid back personality. He's also the type of person who says whatever he thinks. This is why, in his sermons, he can get away with naming bodily functions and occasionally making sound effects into the microphone to support his case. (Why is it that fart noises always make kids laugh?) Anyway, the main thing we've learned is to communicate with each other. I guess that's why we don't fight very often. If I misinterpret something he's said or done, I ask for clarification. He does the same.

Most often, our misunderstandings with other people are the result of some sort of miscommunication. I interpret what you said the wrong way, and, being the adult I am, I swear never to be friends with you again, stomping my foot and crossing my arms with a "Hrumph." How silly. If I would get the courage to, instead, walk up to you and say "Hey, did you mean what I think you meant when you said..." then everything would turn out completely different. Odds are, I would realize that NO, of course you didn't mean what I thought you said the way I took it and oh my goodness, you are so sorry I took it that way... and then we'd go on living happily ever after. Blissful friends who can laugh about the time I thought you meant....when you said....

I read an article recently about restoring damaged friendships. It's easy to think in the back of your mind that it doesn't really matter, but the truth is - it does matter. You can convince yourself that it doesn't and tell yourself you're fine without that former friend, but are you really? Is there some sort of resentment building inside that could turn you into a bitter old person who shouts at kids to get off your lawn?

Anyway, the article's got me thinking. And I'm wondering how many of us - especially us young moms who can so easily delve into the world of our kids - are hurting over the loss of a friendship that ended as a result of a miscommunication? And then that sent my brain spiraling into the thought that we really need a forum at our church for young moms to come together and talk about stuff like this. And I've always been of the mindset that if God shows you a need, you're supposed to be the one to fill it. But I'm thinking I CAN'T TAKE ON ONE MORE THING! But my head is shouting "But we NEED this!"

ack!

So, I'm thinking about starting a bi-weekly something. Bible study, I guess, where we would have a book to follow and everyone would take a meeting where they would be responsible for the lesson. Then, I would only have to do the first one and I could pass it off on other people to do the others to help with the teaching/leading.

Obviously, this is all in the planning stages, but is this a dumb idea? I don't know. I may be off my bean.

I think I should just go pray for awhile and figure out what God's telling me. He must be saying something, right?

:)

By the way, you'll be pleased to know that Ethan in all his four year old glory has taken to wearing underwear again. Of course, this is the ONLY thing he's wearing, but it's a start right.

If it's not the underwear, it's the rediscovered Spider-Man Costume from Halloween. At least it isn't going to waste! :)

Comments

[Cyndi Hoehn]

After the VERY recent loss of my mother this subject really hits home. Friends I hadn't seen in literally years came to support me at the funeral home. It got me to thinking - why? Why don't I talk to Beth, Leah, and Allison anymore? Just because Angie didn't invite me to her baby shower doesn't mean I shouldn't be friends with her anymore. She probably wasn't snubbing me. I live an hour and 40 minutes away. They probably think I snubbed them by moving away. I've really been thinking about all of my "friends" lately.

Courtney, this is a really good thing to do. If I lived near you I would come! Good luck with whatever your heart tells you to do. . . and glad to hear Ethan is wearing underoos! =)

[melissa]

I know I miss my girlfriends :( But I'm in a different season then they are. They're kids are older and they are working full-time. I'm happy for them I just miss what we use to have. I miss the "girltalk" my husband is great but his eyes glazes over as I use up my oh 3000 or so words on him(lol). I'd love to meet moms in the same season as me:) Thats one of the things I love about your blogs...its the girl talk I love:)

[julie]

wish i was there to take part in the bible study or whatever it turns out to be.

lord knows i could use it!

love ya!!!!

[Heather]

Oh, goodness... this brought tears to my eyes, Court. This has me thinking about "old friendships" that I have let get away from me. It is hard to get to reaquainted with friends who knew you as someone you are ashamed of being. It is hard to take the time to let them get aquainted with who you are now. The skeptic in me says, "they won't believe me, or they won't like me, or why even bother... it's been too long." Hurts I have caused keep me from making the connections. Is it healthy sometimes to let old friendships go? I have had to learn to be very careful. I cannot afford to do anything to get me off of the path God has me on. Some things are too risky for me. Love, Heather

[Cathy]

Do you happen to recall where you found that article?

[Tenny]

have you ever heard of MOPS? (mothers of preschoolers) i know that they have some great mom-specific materials(dvds, books, etc.) i believe they are pertinent to moms in all stages of life as well:) i was a group leader for two years and it was a LOT of work, but really worth it.