My Weblog: Weight loss shouldn't be this difficult.

July 03, 2009

Weight loss shouldn't be this difficult.

Anyone who is close to me is sick to death of my weight loss whining, so I am turning to the vast nothingness of my blog to air my frustrations.

When I started back at the gym, I honestly thought it would be a lot like it was the last time I joined the gym. I'd just had Ethan and I had a lot of extra poundage to get rid of. So, I started in the cardio room with the help of a friend and tried out the different machines. I don't even have a story about falling off--I really was okay. But I quickly discovered I loved the elliptical the best.

So began my love affair with the gym.

The gym is a place where I don't really fit in. At least not mentally. I mean, I was never athletic and while I attempted a few different sports in my life, it was plain to see no team in their right mind was looking for a clumsy, untalented non-athlete. But I've always attempted exercise. Step classes in college, workout videos (that I find very hard to actually play these days...) but going to the gym in the first place was a big step--and one I wouldn't have taken if I'd been alone.

But I did it. And I desperately wanted to fit in. But the bottom line was, I lost weight. Easily. Consistently. I watched my scale move the right way and it encouraged me to keep going. When I hit that dreaded plateau, I went to Weight Watchers. I lost the rest of my weight. It was easy, for pete's sake!

So just when I'd reached my goal and spent a little time there, we started talking about having Baby #3. Now, I'm not sad I did this. I mean, would you be?

But I digress.

That baby. Oh, that baby. I was 32 when I had him. That was strike one. He was the most difficult delivery and left me pretty much incapacitated for a good couple of months. THen there were the allergies. Oh, the allergies. And the hunt to find them. It's just been a really stressful year or so getting things straight.

Now, I should add that I lost about 25 lbs. through Weight Watchers before I got stuck. But then as we hunted Sam the allergy machine, I just started to realize how bad processed food is for you and I had to stop eating it. So, nothing boxed, processed, etc. meant a whole new way of eating... and it meant that pretty much everything I'd learned in WW wasn't going to work anymore. I couldn't bring myself to eat the SmartOnes. They are SO bad for you. Low-fat, non-fat foods...awful. But they'll make you thin.

Anyway, when I hit that plateau and when it coincided with my discovery about the foods I'm eating, I knew I needed to do something drastic.

I had to exercise.

That's how you bust through the plateau, right? You exercise. You change your behavior.

So, I joined the gym. Again.

I'd fought it and put it off. I'd wished and hoped and prayed I could do it without the hard work that was necessary, but I knew I needed to get the exercise in there in order to see results.

That was seven weeks ago.

I've lost zero pounds.

Now, I also should add, that rather than just doing 30 min. on the elliptical, I've discovered this circuit class. It's an hour and 25 minutes long, a mix of cardio and strength training. And it's hard. I've never worked out this hard in my life. I've diligently tracked 1400 calories a day but to no avail. I'm drinking tons of water so I know that's not it.

Scientifically, there's probably a reason for this, but I'm not a scientist. And I can't figure it out. To say I'm frustrated would be a gross understatement. What am I doing wrong?

Perhaps it's simply hormonal and trying to lose weight after you turn 30 really is totally difficult. (But I've never seen that to be the case on shows like "The Biggest Loser.")

Perhaps it's the fat turning to muscle... (but why are my measurements the same?)

Perhaps there's something deep and psychological going on here that I can't figure out on my own...

Whatever the answer, I have to tell you at this moment, I"m ready to throw in the towel. Come Monday, I'll be fine, I'll be in class, I'll be slurping the water... but on this day, at this exact hour... I just want to say "forget it." And stop trying so darn hard to make the changes.

Truthfully, I want to be healthy. I want my kids to be healthy. They read the labels on their food, like this morning at breakfast they discovered there was high fructose corn syrup in their "Log Cabin Lite." Obviously I need to pitch that. I want them to be educated. I don't want them to have to re-learn how to eat in ten years... and I feel like we've come so far, but my body isn't responding.

And I'm sure the kids don't care one way or the other, but still... I want to have the energy to keep up with them, and to help them make healthy decisions and to never be afraid to join a gym.

It should be "burn more than you consume" end of story.

But apparently it doesn't work that way.

And that, my friends, is the frustrating truth.

Posted at 08:13 AM | Permalink

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Comments

girl, i hear ya. it's been WAY harder post-30. and i don't even have any kids...yet!!

i worked for a woman in NYC who was inspiring. and she has a few books (one just made it into oprah's summer reading list). she goes by our lady of weight loss---her real name is janice taylor. look her up.

keep your chin up!
Robyn

Posted by: Robyn B | July 03, 2009 at 08:27 AM

Good luck chipping away at the goal.

Enjoy the 4th holiday!

Posted by: Lisa @celebrate CREATIVITY | July 03, 2009 at 08:40 AM

Oh, sweetheart...

I feel for you. I have plenty of weight to lose. I guarantee, way, way, weigh more than many people out there.

I, too, decided I wanted to become more healthy. So, I started working out. Twenty minute on the elliptical turned into 45. One mile walks eventually became 4.5 mile treks. Two years passed, and then three, now five.

Not a single pound has come off.

I paid out of pocket to have my metabolism tested. The physician assistant who performed the test told me my metabolism was so high I needed to eat at least 1,800 calories a day to maintain!

So for 30 days, I documented what I was eating because I thought I was just consuming more than I was burning. Well, I was burning waaaay more than the caloric intake I needed to maintain.

Still, I lost nothing...except my sanity.

So, I went to another doctor.

Apparently, it's okay to be condescending to overweight people if you're a physician because I basically was told: "You're either eating more than you say you are or you're exercising less than you say you are. It's simply a matter of calorie-in/calorie-out."

So, on top of not losing weight -- even though I have documentation -- now I'm a liar, too. (Thanks doc.)

Another doctor threw up his hands and said, "I don't know what's wrong, but new breakthroughs are being made every day in the areas of weightloss."

Well, that doesn't do me any good since I feel like ick right now.

Now, I'm seeing an accupuncturist. I'm still not really seeing any results.

So, what's a girl to do?

I'll pray for you Courtney. Please do the same for me.

There is nothing more frustrating than walking on a treadmill . . .and not getting anywhere.

Posted by: kat harris | July 03, 2009 at 09:48 AM

I'm sorry Courtney. That's so great though that you guys are eating so healthy!!=) You should be proud. Just keep standing strong..and don't compromise, I'm sure it's super hard..but you can do it. I'll be praying for you(:

And always know, how seriously beautiful you truly are=) Not just on the outside, but on the inside. I'm so proud to call you my friend.

I love you!

Posted by: Bridgette | July 03, 2009 at 01:54 PM

Hang in there and just give yourself a break. It is only weight and I am certain that you look great. I know that you want to feel great as well as look great.
Have you considered checking with your doctor? I finally did and it turns out that my liver is very enlarged due to one of my medicines so it has pushed all of my organs out making me look 9 months pregnant.
It could be your thyroid? Just a thought. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Love and God bless,
Shaun
PS: love the photo of Sam!

Posted by: Shaun Paddock | July 03, 2009 at 07:48 PM

Muscle weighs more than fat so you're probably building muscle when excercising. I got a little book called "The Bible Cure for Weight Loss and Muscle Gain" by Don Colbert. It made alot of sense. I ordered it from Amazon for practically nothing. Also, you may want to take a look at Lysa TerKeurst's blog from Proverbs 31 Ministries. http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/
She has been writing about her weight loss, eating healthy and the relation it has in her life spiritually. It may be an encouragement to you to look at the bigger picture about eating healthy. Hope you'll be encouraged to continue! =D

Posted by: Gina | July 09, 2009 at 07:58 AM

have your thyroid checked. I did and it totally changed everything!!
xo

Posted by: C. Rayevich | July 09, 2009 at 12:46 PM

I would be frustrated too! I have been counting my calories...I do cheat. I have been trying to stay at 1,200 calories and workout about four times a week. I am seeing results and I am not working out as hard as you. I have actually heard that you can workout too much and it will slow your weight loss. Sorry my friend!

Posted by: Jeanne | July 10, 2009 at 02:47 PM