Yesterday afternoon, I went across town for an ultrasound. The only ultrasounds I've ever had were when I was pregnant, and those are laced with anticipation and excitement...not fear and nervousness.
I, of course, had to use the restroom as soon as I got there, so I ventured back into this diagnostic center and on my way to the bathroom saw way too many big and scary machines. I wasn't nervous until this point, but these things were freaking me out. The kind of oversized metal equipment I've only ever seen on episodes of House.
To make matters worse, a man came in and went to the front desk. The nurse behind the counter knew him from high school. She said, "So, how ya doing?" He said, "Oh, I'm fine." She said, "Well, you can't be fine if you're here." I pulled my eyes away from the Ironman article I was reading and looked at her. Does my being here mean I'm not fine?
I talked myself down, but I do have one of those overactive imaginations, so I was nervous. To say the least.
Finally, my lab tech. comes out and tells me to follow her. She walks fast and barely talks to me. She's nice and friendly, but quiet. I set my things down, lay down on the table and she goes to work.
I think I was in the room for a half an hour and she didn't say ONE WORD the entire time. I laid there. Listened to my breathing. Tried to glance at the picture on the screen as if I would understand what I was seeing. I have been having trouble swallowing on my right side, and I told her so. Feels like there's a small rubber ball lodged in the back of my throat. Well, in my hyper-paranoid state, I noticed she lingered on that exact spot for A VERY LONG TIME. Felt like 12 hours. Honestly though, it really was a long time. Then, when she moved to the left side, she spent maybe two minutes photographing that.
I knew something was up.
She finished. Told me my doctor would have the results today and made it clear she couldn't tell me anything. She wiped all that gel off my neck and she sent me on my merry way.
I think I was feeling sorry for myself because I immediately went into this awesome store here in town (that I never get to) and bought myself an "I feel sorry for myself" present:
I should add this is SO NOT ME. Wearing a ring this big makes me feel sort of ridiculous and actually at this precise moment, I can't find it. I set it down with my engagement ring and they are both MIA. See why I never wear jewels?
Anyway, I did hear back from my doctor and she said they did find some nodules and lesions at the base of my thyroid. Nothing too troublesome, just more indiciation there's something autoimmune going on. I am working on the dairy, but I've managed to stay away from the gluten successfully. Found some great blogs along the way too. I am amazed how many of you are struggling with this too. Looking for answers. I've had several emails about this journey...please know I will share everything I learn with you! Feel free to email me anytime!
In other news, my Mother's Day was wonderful. I got to host the breakfast for my mom for once and I loved it. Before she left I told her I wanted some pictures with her because I realized it's been years since we had one. She made me promise not to put them on my blog.
I had my fingers crossed.
First we took these:
But as we looked at them, we thought, "That's odd, Courtney looks like the Jolly Red Giant and Mommy looks like El Shrimpo the Little Lady..."
Don't you think?
You can always count on Adam to take some stellar shots. Like this one:
Then he kept snapping, which of course led to a breakdown and a coughing fit. (She's battling bronchitis)...
Then there's the "I'm going to be artsy and tilt the camera picture":
He tilted it SO much I couldn't tell if he took it horizontally or vertically! He does that to make fun of me because I like to tilt my camera when I'm taking shots. I've learned over the years too much tilt doesn't work...
Anyway, I think I took my shoes off then and we ended up with this:
I have the best Mom in the world. She has no idea how much she means to me. She helps me, lets me vent to her, says things like "Don't you think you should start potty training him now?" and so sweetly. So, while I'm a few days late, I am wishing her a Happy Mother's Day again...for putting up with me and being such a good Grammy to my kids.
Love you, Mom.