It's the third week of our All Four Love photography challenge. The theme? Love Yourself.
Hm.
If you read my blog or know me in real life, you might know this is something I deeply struggle with. It maddens my husband that my self worth is tied up in a number on a scale or in what other people think/say about me.
To be honest, it drives me nuts too. I wish there was a turn off switch. A way to move past it. I'm starting to learn. I've found ways to be more at peace with myself lately. It starts with getting rid of toxicity. Keeping yourself clear of people who make you feel small.
And I'm not talking about physical stature here.
I've basically been on a diet in one form or another since I turned 12, but as I age, I'm starting to realize that while I can celebrate my weight loss achievements (I'm down about 25 lbs. since we moved here in August) I know they don't make me who I am.
And I also know that I am deeply loved. By my Creator, of course, but by the man he's given me to share my life with. A man who sometimes leaves his wet towels on the floor but who always hugs me when I need it.
I guess the bottom line is...I don't have it all figured out. Or even half of it. But I'm trying. Trying to see myself through God's eyes, through my kids' eyes, through my husband's eyes. Trying not to belittle my accomplishments, my ideas, my dreams...and desperately trying not to let anyone else do that either.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt
I do confess there is one part of my body I like...pretty much no matter what I weigh, I still like it... I can't believe I'm admitting it... but this is it...
My collar bone. See how it sticks out just a little bit? I love that. Gross, right? It makes me feel...I don't know... feminine maybe? (I'm resisting the urge to tell you how dumb I know I am for feeling that way...I'm not a feminine person.)
You may admire the way your legs look in heels...I like my collar bone. It's my thing, I guess. I hope you have something you love about yourself too...no matter what you weigh or wear. Even if no one else gets it.
I am thankful for the journey I've walked when it comes to my body. It's kept me close to God. Just like praying for everyone who emailed me yesterday or left me a comment has done.
It brings me peace. And I'm so thankful for that comfort. Especially since sometimes it makes no sense.
But God gets it. He even sends me friends to call at the exact moment I need them to tell me they're going through the same thing. Old friends who know me and get me and encourage me. And, like melted butter soaks into a slice of warm toast, I soak into the comfort of the knowing.
I choose to love myself. Because it doesn't simply happen. You choose it. Like you choose to love your kids when they're making you crazy. Or your husband when he forgets to put the milk away. Or the person who hurts your feelings or breaks your heart.
I do that to myself sometimes. I hurt my own feelings. break my own heart.
But today...I choose to love myself anyway. To stop the self deprecation.
Because who I am isn't tied up in what I do. Or what size pants I wear.
I am so much more than numbers and statistics.
And that, I love.
We're linking up on Jeanne's blog today. Even if you just snap a photo quick, join us today. Tell us about your own journey to love yourself. We'd love to see it.
