(Otherwise known as "Things I Learned on our Latest Roadtrip...")
In no particular order.
1. Kids can pee their pants even while they are sitting on the toilet.
2. Courtney-coffee=Satan (That was one Adam learned.)
3. Adam in a good mood is almost as annoying as Adam in a bad mood. (He knows this. I told him many times.)
4. The real reason Adam won't let me drive is because he doesn't want to have to deal with the kids.
5. Three year old boys have to go to the bathroom every twenty minutes. Which happen to alternate with the times that 10 year olds and nearly-8 year olds have to go to the bathroom.
6. If the Stormchasers' Tiv ever breaks down, they could use a Buick Terrazza.
7. Spending the money on an indoor waterpark? Totally worth it!
8. The way there is quicker than the way back.
9. The things you've heard about rural Greeley are true. It literally STINKS. (And here's why:)
10. Iowa has the NICEST rest stops. (Sorry, Nebraska, but it's true.)
11. 90 degrees in Colorado feels like 90 degrees. But 90 degrees in the Midwest feels like 90 degrees and a shower in a scalding hot fire hose.
12. "Everyone else on the road is an idiot..." --Adam
13. Sometimes a Happy Meal toy can entertain a kid for hours (which totally redeems the nastiness of the food he just ate.)
14. If you think you're being all rebellious by buying Mike's Hard Lemonade coolers to drink with your sister & mom, you most likely won't drink them...then you'll try and take a couple home with you and if you do, they'll break inside your cooler and make the whole van smell like alcohol, which you will all regret the entire 15 hours in the car. You'll come to the conclusion that some people simply weren't born to know what a margarita cooler tastes like...and that someone is you.
15. It's ridiculously hard to find a good salad on the road.
16. If a fly gets trapped in your car, it's all over. Call in the guards.
17. You CAN get sunburned in goofy looking circles right on the tops of your knees. Just go canoeing.
18. Late night farts are funny for weary travelers. Especially for 8 year old boys doing the farting.
19. Double rainbows really ARE so intense.
20. Construction sucks.
21. Mosquito bites suck.
22. Iowa sucks. (Sorry, Iowa...but you're a very long and horizontal state!)
23. My dad doesn't know how to whisper in the movies.
24. Leaving is hard. The sadness lingers and sometimes sneaks up and surprises you...especially when it appears in the form of a seemingly strong 10 year old girl.
25. There's no place like home...the one you came from and the one you're going back to...
