Because I'm trying to limit my time on Facebook and because I don't want to overwhelm my Facebook friends with random, senseless drivel, I've compiled a list of Facebook statuses that didn't "make the cut..."
10. Well, there goes my four pound weight loss.
That would be posted with a photo of these:
My drug of choice. They're also responsible for my recent break-out. You'd think I'd learn.
9. Please pray. My daughter was last seen riding her bike around the neighborhood and she hasn't checked in for an hour. She usually checks in every 15 minutes.
...which would've led to the following status update:
8. Sophia is grounded. For life.
Because that's what happens when you find your child on the opposite side of the subdivision along a busy road where she knows she's not supposed to be...
7. I love when my kids come home with homework for ME. Makes my day...my latest assignment? Duck tape fashions for spirit week.
She made herself a bracelet and covered her earrings.
I got to school this morning and realized perhaps I really am an overachiever. The kid in front of us had a big silver "X" taped to his back.
The best part was trying to get Ethan's over his head. I had to remove all tape from the back of the shirt and cut off the collar altogether.
I realize he looks miserable here, but that's because he didn't feel good this morning...I promise he loves his shirt.
Swear.
6. Every time I see the word "debuted" I think it's spelled wrong.
5. Some days I think my fingers are long and elegant looking. I've actually caught myself staring at them (and my wrist) in the mirror thinking "ooh, fancy"... And then I see a photo of them and the only thing I can think is "oh, stubby."
(I think the cut on my index finger is an especially nice touch.)
4. They say every ONE blog comment is the equivalent of 100 readers. Let's just go ahead and let you believe that.
3. Proud of my husband who is part of the core team putting on Group's Kidmin conference this weekend in Chicago. He's not even nervous about being on that big stage...so why is my stomach in knots?
2. Is it wrong that the main reason I wanted to cut Sophia's hair was so I didn't have to do that blasted ballet bun anymore?
1. Insert passive aggressive status here.
C'mon. Like you don't know what I'm talking about. One of my least favorite things people do on Facebook and I'm sure I've come awfully close myself. I've adopted a new philosophy as of about a year ago...
This is one time when I don't mind being called an elephant.
