I want to post something meaningful today. I'm writing my third book in the Sweethaven series and I'm at a fairly poignant part. I love writing these parts, when the characters have those moments that make your heart lurch.
But this post will not make your heart lurch. Because I live in a house with three boys (and only two girls.) And sometimes the blog fodder they provide is about as far away from poignant as you can get.
My story starts with a boy:
A boy whose photo-smile is as fake as it is endearing. A boy who is, thankfully, still as innocent (pretty much) as the day he was born.
...and a girl:
(who dressed up as a punk rocker for Halloween)...and who is a little bit more of a troublemaker than she lets on.
Let me just set the scene for you.
Adam and I were working on the Hercules script (for the musical we're writing for CYT Chicago) in the kitchen at my mom and dad's house when we heard Ethan, in his little boy voice shout at Sophia, "Hey! You just hit me in the NUTS!"
I should also tell you that the phrase "nuts" is a new addition to his vocabulary. Sam calls it a "peek" (no idea) so whenever anyone talks about boy parts, that's pretty much what they're called. "Nuts" is a second grade word, one that he picked up at school.
And I giggle every time he says it. (What am I, twelve?)
Adam and I stifled our laughs and called Sophia in the kitchen. Adam handled it brilliantly (and sensitively as being hit "there" had him cringing a little and feeling sorry for Ethan.)
Adam: Sophia?! Don't do that--you can really hurt him if you chuck something at his nuts.
I'm snickering again.
Adam: No, "but" nothing. How would you like it if he hit you in the vagina?
This is where I lose it. Since when do we use anatomical terms with our children? Doesn't he know it's called a po-po? (Again, no idea.)
(I added a photo in case you'd started to doze...)
So, Sophia goes back into the living room to continue their obnoxious playing in which people inadvertently get hit in their private parts...
Sophia: Did you hear what dad just said? (She's giggling. She really should be more mature when talking about girl-parts.)
Sophia: What'd he say? (Clearly she wants to embarrass her brother)
Ethan: He said if you hit me there again I get to hit YOU in you GIANT COWBOY.
Well, howdy, pard'ner!
I don't even know what else to say. I can't even think about it without laughing for five minutes straight. What? Giant Cowboy? WHERE did that come from?
Last night, Sophia came to me with a serious question and she said, "Mom, can I talk to you about my...giant cowboy?"
And I just lost it. Again.
And then, I was half asleep when it popped in my head and I started laughing out loud and woke Adam who actually, in spite of sleep-delerium laughed right along with me.
What is wrong with us?
Regardless, I'm curious, do you use correct terminology when speaking to your children or do you cute-ify the words for their girl and boy parts? Inquiring minds want to know.
*PS. I'm emailing the winners of the Jeanne Oliver E-Course today! Watch your inboxes!