Things haven't exactly been going my way lately.
Already today I've had to break up three arguments because my older two kids are home from school due to inclement weather. This shatters Sam's world. As much as he loves Ethan, when his big brother doesn't do just what he wants, he loses it.
Completely.
This, of all weeks, the week I'm supposed to share my book with the world and everything that could possibly go wrong in my world, did.
{Official Book Launch Coming Soon! Prizes! Inspiration! FUN!}
First of all, I printed my invitations for the launch party through Vistaprint. (Did I already tell you this?) They're quick and great and I needed something fairly inexpensive. So, I get them about a week later and they're 100% whacked.
They're supposed to look like this:
But there are white lines where they've been mis-cut and they're off-center. I sat here with my scrapbooking tools and started hacking away at them and then got upset because this was going to take forever...so I sent an email to Vistaprint--something eloquent, along the lines of:
"Seriously, man? I have a party!"
To my surprise, they wrote me back. And they reprinted everything. And they didn't charge me.
And suddenly I loved them again.
Did you hear me, world? I love Vistaprint!
I'm nothing if not forgiving.
Another week went by and I got the new cards in the mail. They look oh-so-much better. I'm thankful and make a mental note to shout the praises of Vistaprint from the roofop. (This is me shouting!)
I print labels, stuff envelopes and include a little card with the book cover on it in each one. I'm almost done.
And on the backs of the cards, I handwrite a note about the book signing I'm doing in Rockford next Saturday. {Barnes & Noble; 2 p.m.}
And as I'm writing the date, something hits me and I pull an invitation out of the box and discover there's a typo in the DATE. I'm inviting everyone to attend a party on JANUARY 11th. (I changed it above so those of you who are just skimming this don't see it and think you've missed it.)
My week was already going fairly awful (awfully?), so this caused near-nuclear meltdown.
But then I remembered I'm a scrapbooker who routinely makes mistakes on paper and I found a (not-too-terribly-tacky) way of solving the problem in the form of a brown fine-tipped Sharpie.
Joy.
I'm good. Things are addressed. We're good to go.
The next day, I got a call from our insurance agent. Let me just say that having a rental property, moving to a new state into a rental, then buying a house and moving again, changing cars over to Colorado plates...is confusing at best...and maddening at worst.
A few months ago I said to Adam, "Why do we have so many different insurance companies?" Considering how many different things we have insured, I guess it wasn't illogical...until I got this call and realized we've been paying car insurance in two different states for a year.
A year.
Consider this a Public Service Announcement because friends don't let friends pay car insurance in two different states.
This has all been compounded by the craziness that accompanies a book release. Here, I've been trying to get it all ready to go and in the tumbleweed of chaos, I felt God say to me... "Are you ready to ask for my help yet?"
Ouch.
Here's what I'm learning...
I have a knack for doing everything all by myself. I'm self sufficient to a fault. I have a hard time accepting any kind of help and an even harder time asking for it. And while I don't think things have all been going wrong because God lifted his hand from me, I do think maybe he's using it to get my attention. To remind me that I'm nothing without him...that I really have no business trying to do anything without his help.
Over and again, I've had to walk around this mountain, to remember that he's got me in the palm of his hand...that no matter what mess comes my way, he comes behind it with a broom and a dustpan, ready to help clean it up. Whether it's plans that go awry or invitations that go out a week late or overpaying car insurance...or worse...
He wants to be a part of it.
And sometimes I forget that because I'm so busy trying to do it all by myself. I'm too busy to believe God really is in the details.
But he is, isn't he? He IS in the details and what happens to us DOES matter to him.
Once again, I'm at a place of surrender...hands up, eyes lifted toward heaven...and accepting the truth all over again that I am nothing without him.
And that brings me all kinds of peace.
If you're looking for peace today...give it up. Stop wrestling with it. Walk away and say "It's yours now, Lord, because I can't do this on my own..."
And then watch him show up on your behalf. He wants to. I promise....
He's just waiting for us to ask.
