Our house in Illinois was truly a dream house for me.
It represented something I'd strived for somehow. We were adults. We were grown-ups. We were doing okay...
But even when you're in the surroundings you thought you wanted...things can go wrong. You can wake up and realize that you aren't living the life you were meant to live. You can find yourself going through the motions, detached and not plugged in to what God's saying.
Because sometimes the things he says are hard to swallow.
Sometimes you don't want to hear "This really isn't your forever house. " Even if it's followed up with "I have something better for you."
At least that's how it was for me. Because I'm stubborn.
And I liked my house.
When we listed our Illinois house, I was instantly panicked. I knew we were going to have to file for bankruptcy (and oh, no, what would people say? "Are you sure you heard God?" "Surely God wouldn't ask you to do something that financially destroys you."...)
Because 1. People would say those things and 2. I would've cared.
But this time? Not so much. This time, we listed our house with the calmest peace you can imagine. Partly because the housing market in Colorado is doing really well, but also because I just know that God's in control.
For once, I can say worry is not in my wheelhouse.
We are not kindreds, the two of us. There's no Anne Shirley/Diana Barry love going on here between me and worry.
Since we listed this house, we've had five showings with another one tonight and a 3-hour evacuation for the Realtors to walk through tomorrow. We've gotten some good feedback. We've gotten some interest.
We might actually be okay...but the truth of the whole thing is, I'm just not worried about it.
And wow. That. is. freeing.
See, sometimes, you just have to go through it yourself. It's storming and rainy and horrible and you're sure you're going to drown, and then this crazy thing happens. God steps in. He brings you fabulous renters. He gets you across the country.
He brings you work when you're sure you won't be able to pay the bills...He's with you every step of the way.
So when the next storm kicks up, you can remember how faithfully he saw you through the last time and somehow...this storm pales in comparison. "God's done more than this already for us," you think. Because inside there's this knowing...
This knowing that you can't really explain, no matter how hard you try...
And that knowing can only come with growing. With getting older. With age.
And I have to tell you, that while it wasn't easy in the middle of the storm...in the middle of any of the storms...I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Because if this is the kind of peace I get to have as a result...it was worth it. I promise you. In the end. It'll be worth it.
What storm are you facing today? Is worry your kindred, or are you resting in the knowing?
