(And by "comedy" I mean "that thing that's not funny at all")
Oh....where do I begin?
It's been a few days since I've posted because we spent the weekend moving from Colorado to Illinois. This all seems so very familiar, doesn't it? Perhaps you remember two years ago (almost to the day) when we packed up and moved from Illinois to Colorado?
Yes, we've been here before.
I've come to the conclusion that moving is a lot like childbirth in that you delude yourself into thinking there was never any pain. Then you do it again and you think "Oh no. I forgot about this part."
That's what happened with us and moving. I'll give you the short version. And if you think you hear annoyance in my voice, well, you'd be right.
This whole thing has made me downright feisty. I get that from my dad.
Last Thursday, our buyers walked through the house. We were surrounded by boxes and chaos so naturally it annoyed me they were even there. Especially since I was told their Realtor just wanted to check to be sure we'd fixed the concrete patio. Oddly, their inspector had come out the week prior to check the same thing.
It was still fixed (surprise).
Anyway, as they left, their agent said "And is the attic fan fixed?"
I said, "What attic fan?"
Here's what I've learned. When an inspection comes back with four things that need to be fixed and you say "What fan?" you should actually NOT SIGN anything until your Realtor finds out what fan they're talking about. Also, you shouldn't say you'll fix it (no matter what) because it's a fan. Not a safety issue. When people try to make you think you're going to lose the deal over a fan, ignore them.
It'll cost you $250. It'll change all your plans. It'll make you realize that your Realtor's "I need this signed today by 5 p.m." is not okay since you don't have all the details.
So, now that we actually had the answer we'd been looking for for at least three weeks, we had a fan to fix, and we were ticked. A fan? Really? We'd fixed everything else (also not safety issues) on this house...and on their way out the door, they made sure they were also getting the extra paint.
The trouble was, we couldn't close till the fan was fixed. And how were we going to get that done with only ONE work day before we moved.
This is where the stress began.
Friday, we had an early birthday/going away party for Ethan. We ended up calling several electricians to install this ridiculous fan but had no luck. All the while, I'm still packing with my mom's help.
Saturday, I woke up and Adam said, "Okay, you need to sit down."
This is never good. Turns out our moving truck (graciously supplied by Adam's new employer) broke down in Iowa and our friend was now stuck there with no way to get home. (His story is a comedy of errors in its own right...I guess the police in Iowa get suspicious when they see a guy unloading moving equipment into a rental car.)
Now we had to pay him for his time and pay for a new moving truck. And pay for a tow dolley for the car since Adam would have to drive the truck. And pay for a fan.
We managed to get the LAST moving truck in the area and the last tow dolley. We drove to Greeley (about forty minutes), picked it up and drove back. It's record-breaking heat in Colorado so we got a taste of what we were in for.
Got home, parked the big truck and discovered the tow dolley was broken.
Called Penske. They tried to blame Adam for breaking it. Eventually, they realized there was no way he broke it and they sent someone out to fix it. We started loading.
Sunday morning, some saint-like friends came and helped us load. We truly, truly, would never have been able to do this without these guys. Some of them we didn't even know. And it was 108 degrees.
The bad thing was that all of our stuff didn't fit in the truck. I started finding things to give away, but it didn't help. We couldn't leave the grill and the riding mower and our first born. We had to face the reality that we needed another truck. Our first plan (which was really about our fifteenth plan) was to put our stuff in our friends' garage and then Adam would drive another truck out next week.
As they put that plan in motion, I took my very weary mother to the airport and dropped her off. Five minutes later I got a call that her flight was over three hours delayed. She wouldn't get back to Illinois till after 1 a.m. and she'd still have an hour drive.
I turned around and swept the puddle that was my mother into the front seat of the van and we drove back to Loveland. Now we had our sixteenth plan. She would drive the van. I would drive the small Penske truck. Adam would drive the big one.
In a way, that was a blessing. I can't imagine Adam having to drive back to Colorado next week.
But the ridiculousness wasn't over yet.
It was all the little things that were going wrong... we checked my mom into a hotel (our beds were all loaded). The last hotel room probably in the whole city. We walked upstairs to the room and the key didn't work. Back downstairs. Back upstairs. Still doesn't work. Back downstairs. Found a sweet maintenance guy who let us into the room.
I should've slept there. Sleeping on the floor at age 10 is one thing. Age 36? Something else entirely.
I didn't sleep well at all.
The worst part was, there was NO way my mom was going to get a hotel room the following day. It was clear we would have to take off Monday afternoon (which was our original plan, though we didn't expect such a roundabout way of getting there...)
In the end, we signed the papers early, got a wonderful guy to come and fix the fan that makes me want to lock myself in the garage and say not nice words, and headed out of Loveland Monday evening.
I'm not going to lie, everything that could possibly go wrong did, and it was one of the most stressful things I've ever lived through. I was sick most of the day yesterday probably because of the stress leaving my body...
To make matters worse, we walked through the new house last night and discovered the upstairs carpet is all stained (there's even a huge black paint stain in one of the bedrooms. We hadn't planned on replacing that right away.) Sigh.
When it rains...
I'm looking for the silver lining, I promise I am...but at this moment the only thing I can muster is this: I'm never moving again.