There's a season for everything. I know this is true because I remember hearing the Byrds' song on one of those infomercials for a compilation record album as a kid.
Yes, I remember records.
And yes I know it's in the Bible.
Mama didn't raise no heathen.
The truth is, I'm sitting in my front room cozied up in my red chair, wallowing a little bit and wondering what on earth it is I'm supposed to be learning in this weird, funky, whatisgoingtogowrongnext season...because between you and me, I'm a little dumbfounded at how many "little foxes" are still trying to spoil my vines.
All of my vines.
It's enough to make me tear down the dang vine and stomp the grapes Lucy-style just so I can have some wine. And I don't drink wine.
But something occurred to me this afternoon as I looked back on the countless wasted hours I spent on the phone with Mohammed, Johnothon and other various tech support people who offered me about as much support as a training bra...
I'm not learning...anything.
I'm in this odd mental limbo, and it's almost like I walked away from my overanalysis...like for some reason I couldn't process it anymore. Truth be told, I've been avoiding everything, getting lost in the house projects and finding new and interesting ways to transform the ponytail that is rapidly becoming the only way I wear my hair.
Turns out long hair does have an upside.
I spend my evenings sitting in this same chair watching my kids play in the front yard (Sam was actually dancing with a rake tonight, a rake he wielded at a little boy doing laps on a Big Wheel in our cul-de-sac.)
I've abandoned some of the ideas I had, deeming them unimportant or too involved...and now I'm wondering if I just got tired? Am I just out of energy? Or could it be that I'm in a resting phase...storing it up for the busy that's about to occur?
Lately I've been trying very hard to be present, to nurture, to do more than wander through my days, rushing from one place to another...
It started when school started...and I had to leave the house. I have three kids in three different buildings, so there I was trucking around town, working my afterschoolroutine, breaking the carpool rules (unintentionally, of course...) and proving that I didn't read the traffic flow chart.
I'm a closet rebel.
That little taste of life outside my own little world did something to me. It changed me...but as good as I think that is, it's left me in this odd funk. This questioning of what am I doing here? what do I want out of this life?
I'm in a funk, my friends.
The kind of funk that's left me with nothing to say...gaps in my blogging and the photo-less post are evidence that perhaps I'm losing a little something here...?
Or maybe I'm finding something...?
I don't know. For now, I'm just going to go with it...
Cause that's how I roll...all kinds of crazy and overanalytical.
And it doesn't make for interesting blogging, does it?