Sometimes, I can't wait to blog. I have just the right words, so much so that I've practically written the post in my head.
I love when that happens.
Other times, I stare at the screen wondering what to say. What do I have to offer? What am I learning right now? What's the take-away? Why would anyone want to read this drivel?...
Do you other bloggers do this?
It dawned on me this morning that these sorts of dry spells are often tied to my lack of spiritual focus. And today I'm thinking that lack of focus stems from my focus on something else entirely.
Myself.
Yesterday I was flat funky. I was in such a weird place. I was blaming it on my phony Seasonal Affect Disorder (did I mention I'm also a hypochondriac?) but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's not SAD that I struggle with. Maybe it's the fact that I let myself get all twisted in my own woe.
Because sometimes I think I know what God's told me, and it should make more sense than it does. It's like being told to put a puzzle together without all the pieces.
The fact is, when I get so mired down in my own self, I forget that sometimes God's will is carried out in baby steps. Oh, I hate the baby steps. I'm a jump right in kind of girl. None of this waiting around. None of this timing.
We're trained that way, aren't we? We live in a fast food world... so when something doesn't go the way we think it should we try to force it.
We try to force God's hand.
And when we do that, for some reason, all the peace of the thing disappears...because it's no longer His will at work. Some of us like to do. All the time doing. We like to solve the mysteries and uncover solutions and make things work...
So when God asks us to be still and stop doing, it goes against everything that's at work inside of us.
But today, because I know it's the right thing...I'm going to be still. Somehow. I'm going to find the calm. I'm going to rest in what I know He told me, even when I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle.
And it's not going to be easy.
Will you join me?
