I'm a wallower.
Or rather, I can be a wallower. I hate to wallow, and usually when it happens I'm not pay attention. It's times like this my husband makes comments like "I'm going to stay out of your way today..." or "Honey, you're awfully emotional."
For whatever reason, when I AM emotional, being told I'm emotional makes everything worse.
When it became a crime to point out the obvious, I don't know.
But when I get something in my head, I find it's often hard to change my mind. Much to the dismay of those around me.
Yesterday, I had some time in the car. Adam and I are directing a production of Hercules next year, and I had to drive in for meetings and long chats and guilty lunches at Portillo's that I called "a date lunch" because we haven't been able to squeeze "date night" in lately...and on my way home, I let my mind wander.
I do my best mind-wandering in the car.
And I started to think about my attitude. Suddenly it occurred to me that there are certain things that have been thorns in my side lately and oh-my-gosh, I have a horrible attitude about them. What if the things aren't the problem? What if the problem was in how I was thinking about those things?
It dawned heavy on me because I was so convinced I had it all figured out. But what if I didn't? What if I was wrong?
In my vast experience "change", what I've discovered about God is that he often doesn't work the way you expect him to. I mean, almost never. So why I thought I had it all figured out, I don't know...
So yesterday, I made a decision to change my focus. To stop wallowing.
To start, I had this guy pray for me:
(which he was happy to do) because he just speaks straight from his heart and he has big, ridiculous faith. The kind that inspires me.
Then I made the decision to find the good.
To focus on the good.
Maybe I'm the only one who's allowed her own warped way of "figuring everything out" to dominate her thinking, but if I'm not...if you, like me, are spending your time wallowing in the mire of your own rotten attitude, I want to challenge you to change your thinking.
Change your focus.
Find the good.
You might be surprised.
