Last night we went out to a cute little building on the edge of town. It was near a movie theater which made me realize it's been a long time since I went to the movies, which made me think "I need a 'me date' here pretty soon."
Going to the movies alone is such a great way to reconnect with yourself.
In that little building, there were 120 or so kids walking up a staircase into a small, overly heated room to sing their little hearts out. Auditions for Les Miserables went on for 4+ hours...and if you know the show, you know it's a big deal.
Our daughter is at that age. The in-between age. The age where she's too young to be a little kid and too old to be a grown-up, even in a show being presented by kids. There were many in her same boat. We prepared her and made sure she knew her age was going to be a hindrance this time around... and she understood, I think.
But this morning, when she went off to school, I wondered if she was secretly disappointed she didn't get that call-back. Had she let herself hope? And would this disappointment keep her from hoping again?
Because that's often what happens, isn't it? We get our hopes up and when we feel crushed, we decide we aren't good enough or that we aren't willing to feel that pain again.
So we stop hoping.
I tend to be quite cynical. Recently, I was waiting on some contract news for a book proposal and my heart was heavy for so many days, and I wasn't hopeful, I was anxious. And worried. And what if I never got another book deal? What if I had my day in the sun? Would I ever recover? If I wasn't a novelist...what would I be?
And somehow, something inside clicked, and I started to realize if I didn't get another book deal, that God must have something different for me to do. And suddenly it was like the pressure was off me because I had resigned myself to giving it over to him.
Really giving it over, not just saying I was giving it over and still clutching it with both hands when no one was looking.
I understand disappointment. And I know what it's like to stop hoping your dream is going to come true, but if you can, just for a moment, put your hope in God's plan for your life, and trust that he knows what he's doing... to give that more weight than someone else's opinion of you...you'll find that hope is a very good thing.
So often we get caught up in getting a job or a promotion or a part in a show. We get carried away by accolades and applause. We thrive on it. We strive for it.
But I'm learning that it's so much more important what God thinks of us. And I know that sounds like something you'd hear from a pulpit on a Sunday morning, but I actually believe it.
And the funny thing is, usually when you stop clinging to your own plan...and resign yourself to living out His plan...your dreams start to come true. Because you start to dream the dream He's dropped in your heart.
Go on and hope. It's a very good thing.