This morning I found a notecard tucked in the pages of my Bible months ago (don't let me sound all holy on you...the truth is, it's been days since I had any sort of real quiet time).
On it, I'd scribbled a simple prayer, asking God for things that were way beyond my reach. In a time of worry (before I decided to resign from my job) I was fearful about anything financial... and it showed in the prayer.
There were about five things written on this little card--hard things I was asking God to do. None of them were expected, to be honest, debunking the idea that God only answers prayers when you have an expectant heart. Truthfully, my heart was weary. And tired. And afraid.
I expected nothing, but I hoped that God would move on our behalf.
See, I knew I needed to step out in faith, and I knew I was clinging to the sure thing, the paycheck that came twice a month, the exact amount of money that hit my bank account. I like a good plan. And here God was, asking me to lose that plan in favor of the unknown.
In favor of trusting in Him.
Even thinking about it now, I get a little nerve-wracked. My fingers tremble ever so slightly over the keys as I type the words that conjure this memory.
See, I'm not a risk taker. I wanted to know that I was not going to make it impossible for our kids to continue their education at the Christian school we love. How could God ask us to give up this sure thing? Perhaps he'd forgotten all of our expenses? Perhaps he didn't realize we were still paying for our three moves in two years? Perhaps he didn't have the full picture.
I laugh thinking about it now, because that really is the line of thought I clung to when I was making this crazy decision. Like God needed me to remind him of reality.
Like he somehow didn't know.
So here I am, months later, a full-time writer who teaches art in her home, who sometimes sells art prints and who has learned that God is always working to bring His will to pass in her life.
I fumbled through my Bible, one hand holding a steaming cup of coffee (dear Jesus, please don't ever ask me to give up coffee...) and my favorite pen...and I came to Jeremiah 6:16. A verse in my study on rest (a whole other blog post, my friend.)
And this card stared back at me.
Asking God to move. Asking for crazy blessings. Asking for what seemed like the impossible. And as I read it, I literally gasped.
Every. Single. Request. He answered. Unexpected blessings. Not at all in the way we thought they would come. Right down to the last detail...he heard me.
Don't tell me there's no such thing as God. Don't tell me he doesn't hear our prayers. Don't believe for a second that when you speak to your Heavenly Father that those words fall on deaf ears, floating off into the cosmos somewhere.
Because if you do, I'll hold up my notecard, written in a time of pure fear, and I'll say "He heard me. He did abundantly more than I could ask or think. He loves me."
And you know what? He'll do it for you too.
He promised. And the God I know always keeps his promises.