No pressure, but today is a big day.
It's the day to make resolutions. Choose a word to represent what you're believing for this year. Change your focus.
I never really liked ceremony for ceremony sake. If you want to beef up your resolve, I feel like you have every right to do that in October as you do in January.
What I do like is the idea that at any time, any day, we can and should challenge our beliefs.
Sometimes you discover something, deep in the stitching of mantras you've been clinging to, something that suddenly feels undone.
Sometimes we come face to face with the error of our ways.
Years ago now, I began to buy in to the popular mantra You Are Enough...
It's on mugs and tee shirts and jewelry. You see it on blog posts and Facebook statuses and twitter feeds. It's quoted and engraved and hand stamped but our universe is being sold a bill of goods. A lie.
You are enough.
And we believe it because we want to believe it.
When it's so obvious, so clear, that you (and I) are not and never will be enough. How can we even think it? How can we even entertain the idea that we--spiritual beings--could ever be enough on our own? Without any help? We weren't created that way.
We weren't made to be our own little gods walking around the earth selfishly seeking any and everything our little hearts desire. We weren't created to solve our own problems or emerge from an inky ocean of dark angst without a single whisper--without a prayer, even a simple Help me, Jesus.
It's not how we've been designed.
So we've set ourselves up for a horrifying failure. Because when life happens, and it always does, we expect to be able to pull ourselves up, out of muck and mire. We expect--no demand--that we are okay. We don't need help. We are enough.
We can do it ourselves.
And when we realize we can’t, that we never, ever could, we feel like we’ve just been the victim of the single worst hoax in the history of the world. Conned. And yet, there’s no one else to blame because we’re the ones that bought in to the idea in the first place.
Stop believing that asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Stop believing that you’ve been created to handle the ugly on your own.
Stop believing the lie that you are enough.
I can tell you, having been to hell and back, that you aren't, and you never will be.
And thank God for that.
Because this, my friends, is precisely where God wants us. Wholly surrendered, arms stretched upward, admitting that we cannot do it all on our own because we were never meant to. Because God made us with an innate need for HIM.
He's there, waiting for us to ask for help. To say, "Lord, I cannot do this by myself. I’ve tried. I’m overwhelmed. I’m full of fear. I’m flawed.
I am not enough.
No part of me is enough to handle what's in front of me. I. Need. You."
And when we say it, when we call out to the heavens, even when our words appear to fall on deaf ears, He is there. He answers. He grabs our hand and instantly becomes our helpmate. And no, it doesn't always look the way it should. Sometimes it looks ugly. Sometimes people are vicious and mean and spiteful. Sometimes our names get dragged through the mud. People lie. They let you down. They break your heart. They reject you. They leave you out in the cold.
Sometimes our dreams don't come true.
And yet, in the darkness, he is there.
If only we are willing to say, "Lord. I. Need. You." If only we breathe a confession that "I. Am. Not. Enough."
I will never, on my own, be enough. I am not the master of my fate or the captain of my soul. Don't get me wrong, I could be. God would allow it. That's called free will...but as experience would have it, I can tell you, there is no way I would ever want that job.
God loves you. He loves me. And when it feels like the darkness is too much to bear, he is just a whisper away, waiting for us to reach up and take his hand.
Always willing to be more than enough.