Telling Stories

Celebrating {A Homemade Year} with a Giveaway!!

I'm dusting myself off after a couple of weeks of chaos, finally feeling a bit recovered, though not entirely normal yet...but I had to come back to the land of the living to share a little about something fabulous by someone fabulous. 

It's got to be one of the very best things to sit on the sidelines with my pom pons cheering for friends who make a decision to dive headfirst into the land of their dreams. 

Because you know dreaming is mostly about doing and you won't get anywhere if you don't get up and start...(Just sayin'.) 

In the chaos of show week, I got some very happy mail and it looked like this:

It wasn't the first time I'd seen the book as I was fortunate enough to write an endorsement for it a few months ago, but it was the first time I'd seen it printed and in FULL COLOR and I felt this swell of excitement for my friend, authorJerusalem Greer. 

All the emotions she must be feeling...I remember them well...and I am SO excited I get to tell you a little more about A Homemade Year and give a copy of this book away. 

This book is the coolest collection of faith, recipes, crafts, entertainment ideas and personal stories and I can honestly say I've never read a book like it. It's like Jerusalem took all the things we love the most and focused on those. (She's even inspired ME to try a few recipes!) 

So, all that said, I am SO excited to offer you a chance to win this book for yourself. Trust me, you want it. It's the kind of book you can get lost in...and it's so PRETTY. 

Just look:

So, how do you WIN this beauty for yourself?

Simply leave a comment on this post answering the question: "What's your favorite holiday?" I won't even make you tell me why (unless you want to which I would love.) 

BUT, that's not all...if you Blog, Tweet, Facebook or PIN this book/giveaway, you can come back here and leave another comment for each one that you do. That means, you actually have FIVE chances to win. 

 

Not a bad deal, eh? 

BUT...if you're like me and you just want to hurry up and crack this baby open already, then head right over to Amazon where you can snag your own copy of A Homemade Year without any waiting! 

Contest closes Monday so start sharing! And congrats to you, sweet Jerusalem! You should be so very proud of this beautiful book! 

Texas Sheet Cake {Recipe} & The Sweethaven Scrapbooking Challenge Part 2

I woke up this morning with my head spinnning a little bit, trying to connect the dots of everything going on... it's a lot, as usual, and I'm excited because mixed in with my excitement over the release of A Sweethaven Homecoming...

There are so many other exciting things going on as well. 

This past weekend, I stood up in the wedding of one of my oldest friends...

...which meant I got my hair done all fancy-like, something that really just never happens around here. 

And I got to hang out with more of my oldest (and dearest) friends...

These girls (and some who weren't there) were my Circle. So creating a tight-knit group of girls who realize how much they love each other on paper wasn't so difficult...

Then, yesterday, my family got together to celebrate my nephew's birthday so I got to hang out with some of my favorite people in all the world...

And these two. 

(who I must love an awful lot if I'd post such an unflattering photo of myself.) 

This is my brother and sister. Together with our families, we descended upon my mom's house and I was reminded once again of how my real life wove its way into my books...

If you've read either A Sweethaven Summer or A Sweethaven Homecoming, you know there is a character in these books that's yet to be discussed. 

Food. 

Adele is a comfort cooker/baker. She bakes when she's stressed. (Wait till you read A Sweethaven Christmas!) This is how she copes. It's also her love language. She cares for people. While my mom doesn't cook/bake this way, taking care of people is what she does. 

I would show you a photo of her but then I'd subject myself to her wrath. She's quite feisty. 

This weekend, I was reminded that this cake appears at many of our family functions...

...which is probably why it found its way into my books. 

While I can't give you actual cake, I can give you the recipe... because I'm sweet like that and because I want you to make this cake a part of your family functions too.

It's definitely worth adding to your recipe book. 

Ingredients:

• 1 stick butter
• 1 cup water
• 3 Tbsp. cocoa
• 2 cups flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 2 beaten eggs
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil

(I never have buttermilk anywhere in my house. So I do that old trick of adding some lemon juice to regular milk. It's kinda curd-le-y but that's what you want. Ew.) 

Bring butter, water and cocoa to a boil. Then pour over flour, sugar and salt. Mix. Add remaining ingredients. 

Pour into a 10 1/2" x 14" sheet cake pan. 

Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes. 

Icing: (also known as "the best part)

• 1 stick butter
• 1 lb. powdered sugar
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 3 Tbsp. cocoa
• 5-6 Tbsp. milk

Frost cake while still warm. Top with walnuts (optional.) 

I'm thinking of filing this post under "Heathy eating." 

My Aunt Terri showing you the proper way to enjoy this cake...

Needless to say, it's a hit, and if you make it, you will make Adele proud. 

In other news...

I'm preparing to launch Round Two of the Sweethaven Scrapbooking Challenge tomorrow.

Because of the scrapbooking element of my books, I wanted to show some Sweethaven-inspired layouts from some very talented friends...and then give you a chance to show off your talents by creating your own Sweethaven inspired layout. 

There will be some GREAT prizes which I will announce many times between now and the end of the challenge... I can hardly wait! 

Here are some of the topics that will be included, in case you want to start planning your challenge layout now...

 

• reconciled friendships
• motherhood
• weight loss
• being transparent
• distractions
• forgiveness
• old friends
• best friends
• getting away
• the place where you can most be yourself
• the place where the peace is
• the cover of the book
• a verse or quote that really means something to you
• second chances

 

Yep. It's all in the book...

Have you gotten yours yet? No? Go HERE! 

And what about that giveaway....?

I want to give you a few more hours to enter...so I'm going to announce the winner TONIGHT! 

That means you can still enter HERE on my Launch Day post...but only for a few more hours...

So, let's recap.

I had fancy hair. I hung out with my sibs. I told you how to make Adele's Texas Sheet Cake. I announced the Sweethaven Scrapbooking Challenge and commanded you to enter my big(ger), fat(ter) giveaway (because I LOVE to give gifts...) :) 

Sound about right? Now...GO!

And happy Monday!  

How Food Makes You Feel

Back in March, I had an unfortunate brain issue which landed me in the ER (on my day off. Boo) and ended up with an "acute migraine" diagnosis. 

As a result, I was prescribed migraine medication, had an MRI and got to see what my brain looks like in pictures. 

It also caused me to stop and take a look at a number of possible contributing factors. Like my stress level.

And my diet. 

In February, I released my first book. I did a few signings, had a launch party and tried like crazy to do my best to spread the word about a book that I wrote and really loved, but the stress of marketing yourself is so huge and hard to process. It's difficult to spread the word about your own work. I feel like I can blab on and on about other people's work, but when it comes time to share what I'm doing, it's NOT easy. 

Especially for someone with a history of worrying too much what people think. 

Anyway, I took a few days off and had a headache that last a solid week and a half (in addition to the previous month of headaches). I visited the chiropractor a few times, had a deep tissue massage and came to rely on medicine that really did seem to help.

But in my heart I knew there was a better solution. 

Over the years, I've actually learned how to listen to my body, and one thing that it was telling me was that I am not able to eat anything I want and still feel good. 

It may have been drastic, but I made the decision to cut out all sugar and all starch. Basically, that left me with meat and fruit and vegetables along with the occasional nut and nut flour. And that's it. That started in March and I've been following it fairly religiously ever since. 

In my life, my relationship with food has been cordial at best and twisted at worst. I've always followed rigid protocols but ONLY for the purpose of losing weight. Never for my health. Never for the way I felt. I've convinced myself a time or two that I wanted to try something new based on health/wellness, but if I'm honest, it's always been fueled by weight loss. 

Over the last three months, I've had the occasional handful of peanut butter M&Ms or the small gelato before we moved, and you know what I've discovered? Every single time I eat sugar, I've gotten a horrible headache. In the last three months, my neck aches have gone away. I have no back pain (except for the little bit associated with moving boxes)... I just feel better. 

And yes, my pants are bigger, but for the first time in my life, I actually feel like that's a great little by-product but NOT the main point. The main point is that I don't want to spend every evening on the couch in pain. And while I could be taking medicine and visiting more doctors, the truth is, so much of what ails us is simply in the food we eat. 

If you think moving across the country, driving a Penske truck 1,000 miles with nothing but Taylor Swift CDs to occupy my mind was a bit trying with these kind of dietary restrictions, well, you'd be right. Right before we pulled out of town, we drove through Wendy's. They have amazing salads, but I just didn't want another salad, so I got a chicken sandwich. My first real starch in months. 

I paid for it handsomely. 

I don't know why I feel compelled to share with you about my food allergies and issues, but perhaps you're suffering with aches and pains and you've written it off as "getting older" or maybe you've just gotten used to it. Maybe you eat when you're stressed (like I do) and have convinced yourself that doesn't matter. It doesn't change the way you feel. 

I'd challenge you to change your eating habits for a week and document how it makes you feel. What if your head/neck/back/stomach pains were all easily fixable based on what you put in your mouth? 

Would you change it? 

Has anyone else discovered something similar in the way food affects them? I'd love to hear how you avoid the bad stuff and where you're getting your recipes. You know how much I love to cook (ahem)...pass 'em on! 

The Ditch Your Scale For 30 Days Challenge. {Are You Woman Enough?}

When Adam and I were in children's ministry, I developed a self esteem workshop for girls called "The Beautiful Girl Workshop." We had T-shirts printed that simply said "beautiful girl" across the front. We took the girls to a hotel overnight and poured into them all the great things God says and thinks about them.

My goal was to teach girls at a very young age how very much God loves them... in hopes that down the road they'd remember it, they'd cling to it. They'd know wholeheartedly they had a purpose. 

And I believed every single word. 

Over the last many years, though, it's been clear to me, that it's really easy to believe those things for everyone else...but profoundly more difficult to imagine them for yourself. 

That he knew me before I was born...

That he formed me in my mother's womb...

That the hairs on my head are numbered...(my hair is really thick, I mean, that's no small feat.)

That he really does want what's best for me...

Could it really be true? For me?

And it's also been clear to me lately that by not valuing myself the way God values me, I am, in a way, insulting him. Telling him he made something broken or not good enough...

How many times have I been guilty of sending him that message? (Too many to count.)

Recently, I started another attempt to lose those ten pounds that I can't seem to get rid of. But before I could lose those ten, I had to lose the other five. You know, the ones I put on in the stressed-out times that ensued post-book launch.

I earned those cupcakes. 

I managed to lose six and then I just thought...what am I doing? Killing myself for a few pounds...and then what...obsessing over them to keep them off?

This is not new for me. Anyone who knows me is aware that this has long been my battle.

Food + Courtney = chaos. 

I'm always trying to figure it out...and you know what I've been figuring out lately is that the scale is my boss. When it says what I want it to, I have a great day. 

Source

When it doesn't, my mood is shot. 

Right now, my husband is saying "I've been telling her that for years..."

And all my self worth is wrapped up in these three dumb numbers? Is that really how I want to live my life? 

Do I want to be a grown up with a career and a purpose and still obsessing over the way that scale makes me feel? Because somewhere along the way I've gotten it in my head that the ONLY way I'll ever be good enough is if I weigh this magic number...

But I've been here before...I mean, I've had these thoughts and feelings before...but I don't know...something is different. Maybe I've released those inner demons that want to please everyone else. Maybe I've realized that the people I was trying to please hold no stake in the life I'm building for myself.

Maybe I've discovered that the way I see my kids...that's how God sees me...

I'm not sure this will make sense, but it kind of feels like it's lost its grip on me somehow...

But still, I know I'm not the only one who lets the scale control her, so today, I'm issuing a challenge. 

Here it is...

If you, like me, allow your weight to control other aspects of your life (your mood, your attitude, your self worth, your desire to overeat or undereat...) then perhaps you'll accept.

(You also have to accept it if you are my mother. You know who you are.) 

The Ditch Your Scale for Thirty Days Challenge... 

Yeah, I'm talking to you, Walsh...

Ok. Here are the rules. 

1. I will not. For Thirty Days. Get on the scale. 

I'm not doing this to lose weight. For once in my life, I'm doing it because  I'm tired of feeling so crummy or ignoring my health so much so that I wind up in the hospital. Frankly, I can't afford the ambulance again. 

Break the crazy mental need to weigh yourself to find out how you measure up. 

That said, in order to ensure I feel GOOD and not WORSE in thirty days, I have two more rules:

2. I will not eat anything I'm allergic to. (I know this seems like common sense, but when you're deathly allergic to dairy products it's EASY to stay away...but when you're only moderately allergic to yeast and it takes a few days of eating it to feel the affects, it's easy to convince yourself you can eat it. Then, when you start to suffer and wind up with a complex migraine after three weeks of massive bread consumption, you remember why you stopped eating it in the first place.) 

What can I say? I'm a slow learner.

3. I will employ all the healthy eating habits I've researched and grown to mutually love and hate. This includes, but is not limited to: 

• No refined sugars or flours (I'll be baking mostly with almond flour.)
• Limited starches (they just aren't easy to digest, at least not for me. I may have the occasional sweet potato.)
• Lots of protein, vegetables and fruits (including bananas because while they're higher in sugar I don't care. It grows on a tree.) 
• Nuts and seeds. (I'd like to turn myself into a squirrel.) 
• Little/no soda. (I'd say NONE but I know I'd probably slip up and have to repent. I really struggle to take myself off the soda.) 
• Regular trips to the grocery store. (Which seriously makes me cringe.)

Side Note: I'm not a big fan of diets, and my "rules" are based on what I know about my own body. I've learned that while my husband can eat whatever he wants and never get sick, I don't have that luxury. It's not about comparison...it's about listening to my own body and doing what's best for it. 

So, at the risk of entering into this crazy-scary territory alone, I ask... 

Does anyone out there relate to this or am I the ONLY crazy scale-checker? Will you accept this challenge?

Will you break away from the need to weigh yourself just for thirty days? 

Here's the catch: You have to pay attention during this time to how you feel. How's your mood? How's your attitude? Are you nicer to be around? We can do it, friends! 

Who's with me? (I feel like Mikey Walsh in the Goonies right now. Let's all put our hands in the circle, what do you say?)

Goonies never say die.

A Sweethaven Summer Online Launch Party DAY THREE! {HUGE Giveaway!}

Have you ever noticed how really good things are often overshadowed by really hard things?

Right now, I'm preparing to fly to Illinois with our whole family to spend the weekend doing the Morning Show on WREX TV (Tomorrow morning, and I'm very nervous), a signing at Barnes and Noble on Saturday and then celebrate my book launch with some of my oldest and dearest friends and family at The Next Picture Show in Dixon. 

But I'm also researching wheelchairs at Denver International Airport because Adam's bulging disk (disc?) seems to be just as bad today as it was four days ago. 

I admit, it's not easy for me to ask for help...but I will ask for prayers... because we could sure use them right now. I'm trying to focus on the good things, like the fact that I will get to see some people I haven't seen in YEARS this weekend...and for that, I am SO grateful. 

I'm also grateful for THIS POST (and humbled.) And THIS POST (humbled again.) I just don't have words...only emotional outbursts which usually happen in my garage...

So let's focus on that GOOD tuff and start DAY THREE of our online party!!

And it IS a party...today, a giveaway for the Coffee & Book Lover...and I've got some AMAZING prizes to share...

1. An adorable mug from Hope Springs.

I'm a sucker for a cute mug...especially one that's red on the inside:

This new line of awesome gifts comes from Hope Springs and they've got tons of really cute, unique and inspiring gift ideas. You can find this mug HERE. 

And what good is a mug without something in it? 

2. A Starbucks Gift Card

I trust I don't need to link you to the Starbucks website, but there will be a gift card in this package for one lucky winner. 

3. A spiral-bound journal from The Emily Collection.

Next, my friend Emily over at Imperfect Prose, has just announced some incredibly exciting book news of her own, but that's not all...she's an artist with the heart of an artist...and she's got this incredible new line of products all featuring her art. 

Today, she's giving away this gorgeous journal, so when you sit down with your coffee, you can easily compile your thoughts...

I think you'll love The Emily Collection, which you can find HERE! Emily's artwork is inspired and beautiful...(and she's having a giveaway of her own right now!) All kinds of celebrating going on! 

4. Hope Springs Notecards

 

The women in Sweethaven are brought back together after many years when handwritten letters arrive for each one of them...perhaps, over coffee, you'll write a note of your own...it's always a good idea to let people know you love them. 

5. Books by Hillary Manton Lodge.

Maybe you'll tire of writing and you'll want to curl up with a good book instead. Lucky for you, I can help...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These two books by Hillary Manton Lodge are the perfect way to escape the craziness of life. If they seem well-worn or have coffee stains on the edges, this is because I needed to escape and took them with me to Illinois. 

(I'm kidding. They'll be clean, I promise. I only SOMETIMES give away books that are coffee-stained, right Paige?)

6. Playing By Heart by award-winning author Deborah Raney.

Deb is a wonderful writer with wonderful stories, and her books are definitely among my favorites. This one, a Christy Award finalist, is near and dear to Deb's heart...and I'd love to send it your way! 

7. Blue Moon Promise by Colleen Coble 

This is a new release by the wonderful Colleen Coble, who is as nice as she is talented. Her books are wonderful, so this is one I cannot wait to get my hands on! (But I'll be nice and send it to you when you win. I promise.) 

8.  The Art of Layers by Ronda Palazzari

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I've made no secret of the fact that the secrets of Sweethaven are brought back to life thanks to the faded pages of an old scrapbook...so what better way to celebrate that than with a little scrapbooking/papercrafting inspiration? Ronda's book is not yet released, so you'll be among the FIRST to have it. 

Lucky. 

9. Delight in the Seasons by Lisa Pace

I LOVE Lisa's work. She is elegant and beautiful in everything she does. Her first book, Delight in the Details is completley inspiring, and I know this one will be the same. You could win it!! (And then you may want to plan for a refill on your coffee...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally...

10. A signed copy of A Sweethaven Summer. 

Of course, I have to remind you if you don't win...you can get your own copy HERE or HERE  or HERE...

Because, you know, I REALLY want you to have a copy!!

Same rules as yesterday...

1. Leave a comment on this post and tell me what your favorite drink is (Starbucks or otherwise!)

2. Go to my snazzy new website and sign up for my newsletter! (Then come back and leave a comment saying you did so.) (Sidenote: I believe newsletters should only go out quarterly (if that.) I promise I won't spam your inbox.)

3. Tweet this link.

4. Facebook this link

5. Blog about "A Sweethaven Summer" or this post. 

(Come back each time and leave another comment letting me know you've done these things. Five chances total! 

I can't wait to choose these winners!! Thank you, guys, for helping me spred the word!! :) Hope you have a WONDERFUL Thursday!! (Wait. Is it Thursday?) 

Whatever day it is...hope it's happy!!

 

 

Christmas Crack (A Quick & Easy Recipe)

Two years ago, our friends Illinois Jon and Jenn gave us a little jar of homemade goodness with their Christmas card. As pastors, we got really sweet gifts and goodies and it was always so nice to see Adam's desk piled with love. 

But there was something special about this jar of sweetness. And by special, I mean "addictive." So addictive, that Jenn told me its unofficial name was "Christmas Crack." I understand why having consumed that entire jar myself over the course of a few days. Or  maybe just one day. 

Who's counting?

My good friend, Shannan also has a version of Christmas crack, but Jenn's is different...and SO super easy if you happen to need a quick treat to bring with you to a holiday gathering or just to have on your desk to tempt you. I like to use it as a rewards system. "Yay, I wrote 1,000 words, I get Christmas Crack..." 

It's surpringly motivational. 

Feast your eyes:

What you need: 

• 1 bag Pretzels
• 5 cups Cheerios (or comparable cereal)
• 5 cups Rice Chex
• 1 lb. bag M&M's 
• Canister of Peanuts or Mixed Nuts
• 2 bags of white chocolate chips
• 3 Tbs. oil

Melt 2 bags of white chocolate chips with oil in the microwave for 1 minute then mix. Heat in 30 sec. increments until the choco is melted. Then pour over Chex, Cheerios, Nuts, M & Ms and pretzels.

Stir it up and then lay out on wax paper.

Chill for 20 minutes and Enjoy! 

This is a totally addictive, but wonderfully simple road trip snack too. 

I also made a Gluten Free version for Sam, using GF Pretzels and GF cereal. It was a huge hit! 

I'm on the road for Christmas, and my blogging may be sporadic, but have a wonderful holiday!! 

Handmade Holiday Giveaway...for the creative in your life

***Scroll down for more awesome, artsy giveaways!
You still have a few days to enter!***

Well, here we are. Another Friday. Another week closer to Christmas. Yesterday Sophia opened the Advent calendar and said "Only seventeen more days till Christmas." 

It was at that point I had a heart attack and died. 17 DAYS? I haven't done a darn thing. It's like I got our tree up, rewarded myself a medal of completion and promptly forgot everything else I needed to do. 

I LOVE giving stuff away. It's one of my favorite things...and today is a doozy...For the creative in your life. Yes, that person (could be you!?) who loves to make things with their hands, listen to artistic music, pine over the written word... Just look...

(Now is when I start to get giddy.) 

Some of you may know I work for an AWESOME company. Webster's Pages. And by awesome, I mean, really, really awesome. I know God set me up giving me this gig and I think he wanted me to find a friend in the co-owner, Brandin. Brandin is the genius behind all the designs...and the Santy Claus behind this part of the giveaway. 

Look:

That'd be a now expired Black Friday Box. Come Home for the Holidays. It's chock full of beautiful scrapbooking product--perfect for the papercrafter in your life. (Or you!?) 

Incidentally, this week was HUGE for us over at Webster's Pages and we've just announced some really amazing things, like...a Design Team search! Go check it out pronto because this is one company you will LOVE working for. (Plus, we've got awesome freebies on our blog today!!)

Now, we could call it a day right there, but come on! It's Christmas! 

So next up...for the word-lover in your life:

I have an autographed copy of Carla Stewart's second novel, Broken Wings. Oh, my. If you don't know Carla, I can tell you this...reading her books is a pure treat. Like, better than chocolate, girls. Carla is the kind of writer whose words stay with you, whose descriptions transport you and whose stories move you. This book is amazing. I LOVED every word of it.

Since one of the book's main characters is a jazz-singer, Carla had the wonderful idea to sweeten this giveaway even more...She sent along an extra something special...Harry Connick Jr. 

Not THE Harry because I certainly wouldn't be passing him along (he'd be playing piano duets with my husband)...but a 3-disk set of his jazzy music. 

Perfectly swoony.

Speaking of which...many of you probably already know my friend Becky at Farmgirl Paints. I'm not sure how I discovered her blog, but I've been a faithful reader for awhile now. Becky, like me, recently picked up and moved her family across the country...and she, like me, has a daughter whose love for the theatre led her to the stage. But more than that, she's a sweetheart and a friend I'm very lucky to have. She makes these super cool leather cuffs and she made one specifically for the winner of this giveaway:

...because really, weren't we all made at home? 

I love it. There's sort of a double meaning there and the cuff is adorable. Check out Becky's Etsy shop for more goodness.

Have you had enough yet? Because I sure haven't...get this next prize:

Copies of Where Women Create, Where Women Cook and the newest addition to their family of publications, Where Women Cook: Celebrate! I love looking through these for ideas, inspiration and eye candy...if you haven't seen them before, they're simply inspiring. 

They even make ME want to learn to cook...and that's kind of a miracle. 

Finally, one last thing...because this gift package is for the creative in your life, I'm giving away a copy of my first book Scrapbooking Your Faith. 

I'll even sign it for you because all those years of doodling my name have to pay off someday, right? 

So, let's recap: 

• Webster's Pages Black Friday Monster Kit (Come Home for the Holidays) 
• Autographed copy of Carla Stewart's novel Broken Wings
• 3 Disk set of Harry Connick Jr. CDs
• Handmade cuff from Farmgirl Paints
• Where Women Create/Where Women Cook (3 publications in all) 
• Autographed copy of Scrapbooking Your Faith

Friends. If you don't enter this giveaway I WILL. I might just enter under a false name like Bitsy. 

So. If you want to enter, you must answer this question: 

Sophia has been asked to sing a Christmas song at our family's Christmas Eve gathering. Naturally, I offered to provide back-up but I was met with a stink-eye. What Christmas song (carol or otherwise) is your favorite and would you most like to hear on Christmas Eve?

Tweet, Facebook or Blog this giveaway for another entry (and then come back here and leave another comment!) So up to three additional entries!

And don't forget, there's still time to enter any of my giveaways this week (starting Tuesday!) And any of these things on the list would be fabulous gifts if you're going shopping this weekend! 

Happy Friday!

For the Hopeless Romantic...another giveaway!

It's my anniversary this weekend. Well, Adam's too, cause you know, I didn't marry myself. 

Here's one of our engagement pictures. TWELVE years ago. 

Holy darn, we're getting old! (Incidentally I want to add as a PSA that this haircut was absolutely the WORST to grow out.) (And who cuts their hair off right before their wedding?) 

Anyway, I'm not a lovey person. Affection is NOT my middle name. But I can appreciate the importance for a little romance every now and then...so today I'm giving away a prize package to spread the LOVE...

Inside this romantical package you will find: 

The entire Walk in the Park series by award-winning author Annalisa Daughety...

She's as cute in real life as she is in that picture. And super sweet too. Each book in her Walk in the Park series is set in a different national park...

Clever, right?

You can put yourself in the mood for romance with this series (and check out Annalisa's website for information on her other books...they make GREAT Christmas gifts!)

In this prize package you'll also find this guy right here:

A handpainted chalkboard from my sweet friend Jenn Schmidt, who is way too crafty for her own good. Jenn is one of those friends you just thank God for every single day, and you better believe I do. This little chalkboard is a GREAT reminder to leave love notes for your one and only! Pretty romantic, right? 

Also in this package...

A Starbucks gift card, two mugs and some gourmet hot chocolate. 

(Disclaimer: What you see in the photo of the whole package is not exactly what you will get. I'd use the excuse that my back hasn't given me the chance to get out and get the REAL stuff but the truth is I'm a total hermit who needs coaching in order to leave my home.) 

The reason I want to include the hot chocolate, two mugs & Starbucks card can be credited to my sister and brother-in-law:

I love these two. They have a "Hot Chocolate Date" tradition where, even when money is tight, they get their hot chocolate, sit down on the couch and catch up with each other. I can say from personal experience this is SO huge in a relationship--face to face time where you're just staying connected about more than logistics. 

So, I wanted to equip this winner with the tools to have a proper hot chocolate date.

Lastly, girls. Make yourself smell good! 

This is by far my favorite fragrance. It's light and subtle and doesn't give me a headache. I'm including a 10 oz. bottle of lotion and a 10 oz. bottle of shower gel to promote peace, love and good body odor. 

Today, in order to enter, simply leave a comment answering the following question: What is something romantic that Adam and I can do on our anniversary this Saturday? Babysitter is all lined up...but I'm fresh out of ideas! Can you help a girl out?

For additional entries: Blog, Tweet or Facebook this giveaway! (up to three extra entries)... 

And remember, you can go back to the beginning of the week and enter those Handmade Holiday giveaways as well! I won't pick winners till all the days are done! :) 

I leave you with the image of young love:

Happy Thursday!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Icee

(pictures from my swoony trip to Cozy Cottage here in Loveland.)

At the marketing seminar I went to last month in Chicago, one of the things I carried away with me was that as a writer, I create content. That's what I do. 

It's what I do in my job with Webster's Pages. 

It's what I do as a novelist. 

It's what I do as a blogger. 

I create content. 

So when the well runs dry and the content seems mentally unreachable, it leaves me wondering what on earth do I want to say? (Am I the only one?) 

Some days, I'm just lucky to get by. Some days I spill Cherry Icee all over the counter at Target only to have the annoying guy at the cash register shoot me a look like it's my fault he forgot to give me a lid. 

And did YOU know those things poof up like a teased out 80's perm? I had no idea. I filled the cup, set it down and watched it rise. And rise. And rise. 

Dripping and messy, I took it to the counter and swallowed my cherry-covered pride. 

"Can you please help me with this?" I asked the guy. (Who, the last time I was there made a point to tell me that he's the only one who can get those lids on those cups without a problem but it's probably because he's been working there for years. Years, he said. To which I responded, "Huh, maybe they should get new lids.") 

He turned up his nose and set down the big brown box in his arms. "Let me just...get a glove." 

I think he thought he had something to prove because he snapped that lid on in milliseconds and handed it back to me. "There you go."

*smile.* 

I.was.a.sticky.mess. 

He had a glove. 

I pushed the cart one-handed,  holding Sam with my other sticky, red-stained hand while my two older kids trailed behind. We hit the parking lot and were nearly plowed over in traffic. 

I swear these Colorado drivers are INSANE. 

So. What kind of content do I hope to create? 

Apparently the kind that humiliates me and offers no take-away, no value or importance whatsoever. 

Yep. I'm in the business of creating empty content today.

And yes, my hands are still pink. 

Nine Steps to Perfect Gnocchi: A Holiday Tradition

When you move your family across the country, you realize you have to start new traditions this time of year. You can't jaunt off to Grammy's house for turkey on Thanksgiving. You can't trek out the tree farm for a freshly cut Christmas tree. Ok, we never did that actually. 

We have an artificial tree and I light lots of Evergreen candles. Yum. 

But some traditions we were able to carry with us...

Thursday, we had dinner at the house of some of our new Colorado friends. Adam works with two of the guys and I've had the good fortune to get to know three of the girls who were there. I can't tell you how welcome we felt. Like we belonged there...and for a family without family in town, it was the best blessing of all. 

Friday, we wanted to try our hand at cooking (mainly so we'd have leftovers...) and the only thing the kids really cared about was one dish. 

Gnocchi ala Adam.

(Photo from Wikipedia. I couldn't get mine to turn out.) 

Adam started making this for our family years ago, but as the kids have gotten older, he now employs their help. 

Given Sophia's fascination with The Food Network, it's a great little project for all of them. 

Even little hobbits love to help. 

Making gnocchi IS time consuming, but it's more like a fun family project and the results are delicious, so once in awhile, it's totally worth it. 

So, let's break it down. 

Step one: Peel potatoes (we did 5 lbs. of red potatoes but that's because that's what was in the pantry.) 

Step two: Bring large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes. Boil till they're "fork tender." (New phrases I'm adding to my vocabulary.) 

Step three: Drain, cool and then mash those suckers. Add some butter. Live a little. 

Ok, now is where it gets fun. You may have to eyeball this next part: 

Step four: Add flour (gluten free for Hobbits) and an egg and mash (knead?) together until a dough forms. 

(Don't you love the handprints in Sam's flour?) 

Step 5: Tape a sheet of wax paper onto the table and flour it. (Gluten free for Hobbits.) 

Step 6: (This is the fun one) roll the dough into snakes on the floured surface.

This is where the kids LOVE to help out. (Our potatoes were chilling in the fridge while we went to see a movie, by the way. You don't want them too hot.) 

Step Seven: Cut into one inch pieces.

Ethan was cutting them too small so we called his "Gnocchi Nubs." 

But for the most part, they turned out okay. Sam didn't cut his own. And he didn't sit down the entire time. 

I think it thought it was Play-dough. 

Anyway. Now, you've got plates full of these guys:

So you can move on...

Step Eight: Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Drop the gnocchi in and let cook 3-5 minutes (or until they rise to the top). 

Step Nine: Drain and Serve!

(Gnocchi is often served with marinara saunce, but we love it buttered with parmesan cheese. I bet you could just slather on some gravy and call it a day if you wanted to. That'd be the healthiest thing.) 

Anyway, there is one tradition (thanks to my husband) that we brought with us in our move. 

And I don't see it changing anytime soon!

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

Training a Daughter Not to Have an Eating Disorder...

...When you've had one ever since you can remember...

Gosh, I'm trying not to project my body issues onto my daughter. 

I think she's stunning. And beautiful. And a little snotty, but mostly good-hearted. And this week was incredibly eye-opening for me. 

Sophia has this performing arts thing going on. She's got some great natural talent when it comes to singing and acting...of course she has a lot to learn, but the passion is there. And she's good. 

She has dang vibrato. She teaches herself songs on the piano. I could never do any of that. So, we enrolled her in dance last summer because I can tell you from experience that performers can only benefit from having some dance training...

And she picks it up fairly quickly. 

But she hates it. The summer classes were fine, but from the second she started this fall, there has been nothing but tears and complaining. It's horrible. Wednesday morning brings with it the hovering dread of 5 o'clock. It's gotten to the point where I don't even remember why we were doing this. 

It's important to finish what you start. That's the lesson we wanted her to learn. That and the fact that even though you have a modicum of natural talent, there's still SO much to learn...and no one learns by being lazy. 

Instead, all we've taught her is that dance is something she has to do, whether she likes it or not. 

So, after posting on Facebook about my revelation that maybe forcing this on her was a bad idea, I got a wealth of knowledge from other moms and even people who'd been there as kids...and it started to make so much sense to me to pull her out...to let her study an instrument and voice and pursue the performing thing in another way...

But my friend Ali mentioned something about digging a little deeper...maybe there was something more to this...so last night, I took Sophia shopping with me. Apparently, it's winter and no one has appropriate outerwear, so off we went. 

And as we scooted through Target, she asked me how you find out how much your supposed to weigh when you're ten. 

And just like that, I was a kid again, back in my own dance class and embarrassed to be wearing a leotard. Just like that, I was the tallest (and probably biggest) kid in my class, feeling awkward and out of place in my own skin. 

"Is that what this whole dance thing is about?" 

She shrugged. "The other girls in my class are like *this little*" She put her hand below her chin. She's right too, they are the tiniest girls. 

Because dance isn't really friendly towards girls who aren't tiny. And there's not a lot of sympathy for changing bodies and the awkwardness of not wanting to wear a skin-tight leotard in front of a bunch of smaller people. 

How do I, with all my disordered eating, a former anorexic/bulimic, train up a girl who doesn't see herself as anything but just right? How big a deal do I make of this to help her see that health is the most important thing? How do I encourage her not to let that feeling of being different stop her from being amazing--from going after the things she's so good at? 

And most of all, how do I make sure she knows she is loved...exactly the way she is? 

It's interesting to see your struggles reflecting in the faces of little ones you love so much. And as I talk to her and tell her not to compare herself to other girls...and explain that different is GOOD and it makes us special and unique...I wonder if these are the same words God's spoken to me over and over again...

The same words I have yet to really hear.

How do you teach a child to be exactly the opposite of you?

Quick & Easy Mario Birthday Treats

I know a lot of people make fun of scrapbooking. C'mon, you know who you are. (I'm mostly talking to my husband here.) But I cannot tell you the number of times my scrapbooking skills and supplies have come in handy around here. 

I am a paper nerd and a borderline hoarder, so I have LOTS of stuff waiting to find its new home in this new house of ours! Lucky thing too because Ethan was set on having Mario cupcakes for his birthday. And who am I to break the kid's heart?

First he wante chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting and chocolate chips sprinkled on the top. All I was picturing was a poo-cake because let's face it, that's what it would look like. 

Thankfully, I still have veto power. 

I found the Mario images online, lined them up in Photoshop and printed them off. Worked like a charm. They were perfect! All you have to do is put a toothpick between the Mario and a black mat and you're good to go. 

 Oh, and do I need to point out that I'm not a whiz when it comes to cake decorating? This is seriously going to be my next new hobby. I want to learn. I want to be on Cupcake Wars.

In spite of my lack 'o talent, the cupcakes still turned out super cute. I credit Mario with that. And my friend Liz because when I was asking on Facebook where I could get Mario stickers she called me and said "uh, why don't you just print them out?" 

Duh. 

The other great idea from my Facebook friend and scrapbooker extraordinaire, Kelly Noel...Mario mustaches! On sticks! I found a template online and Adam cut them out for me. (Give me a break here, it was like, 10 p.m. when I started this project!)

He helped me assemble them too...and Ethan LOVED them...

We made a bouquet and took one for each kid in his class. I probably should've waited because the kids were so busy playing with their mustaches they weren't paying attention. I felt bad, but they were super cute! 

Just like Ethan's sweet teacher...

They sang happy birthday and Ethan got to pass out the treats...it was so fun to be there and see how sweet the kids in his class are. 

Then, they all have to wait for Ethan to take the first bite...which he did with gusto.

I sat back and watched the kids eat the near-melted cupcakes (it was hot that day--I was a little worried they were going to turn to mush...) and they all became Marios with their mustaches.

I sort of hate that Ethan's birthday is right at the beginning of the school year--at least the last two years when there hasn't been enough time to make new friends...but it didn't seem to matter this time. We really had a great weekend celebrating our little Mario.

Who, incidentally isn't so little anymore. 

For more information on some of the products I used, check out my post today on the Scrapbook Adhesives blog!

P.S. I'm thinking about categorizing this post under "Natural Health." Fitting, right?

Loveland, Colorado Corn Roast Festival

I sometimes have to step back and remind myself we now live in a much smaller town than we used to. Sometimes that is blatantly obvious, like this past weekend, when we headed out for Loveland's Annual Corn Roast Festival. 

Adam joined the "corn shuckers" at work and took part in the corn shucking contest. I'm told he was the weak link on his team...which I think is funny considering we're from Illinois. 

So, they serve corn all throughout the weekend (and it's GOOOD), but I'm told that years ago someone came up with the idea of a contest to shuck the corn...

Because seriously, that IS the most annoying part.

Adam did step up his game, and the rest of his team gave a valiant effort, but they just couldn't shuck enough ears to win. 

We didn't care...we were there to take it all in, regardless...

The whole set-up reminded me of The Petunia Festival in my hometown of Dixon, Illinois. It's over the 4th of July every year and it's so much fun. Many of my best memories of living in Dixon center around that week in the middle of summer. 

I hope the Corn Roast Festival is similar for my kids. 

After shucking, Adam made a good point..."I can't leave the Corn Festival without eating some corn..." so we tried it on for size. And let me say, we've got high corn standards having grown up in the middle of a corn field and all...

I won't even tell you how they put butter on it. 

Ok, I will. They have crock pots FULL of melted butter and they dunk the ear in, spin it around and then slosh it down in a piece of tin foil. Seriously. Paula Deen would be proud.

For some of us, corn wasn't enough...which is fine because there was a whole line-up of food choices...Ethan chose well, the perfect fair-food...

Sophia got this greasy mess:

My stomach hurts just looking at it. Tater twists. They're basically potato chips straight out of the grease. Yow.

Even still, the real star was the corn...

Everyone loved it. Even this random person that Adam took a picture of.

This is why I don't give him the camera very often. 

During the shucking content, the kids spotted an inflatable and bungee jumping thing. They begged and pleaded and wore us down until finally we relented. 

It was worth it...

They had a blast. 

Ethan studied Sophia before they strapped him in...

And then took the reins. 

A huge, huge success! 

We are definitely fans of The Corn Roast Festival...next year we'll add even more activities to our itinerary...and that's saying something for this homebodied family!

 

Ten Things (otherwise known as "Free Association.")

10. I love when my kids go outside to play, but I cannot stand the way they smell when they come in. Something about the summer heat + their sweaty bodies doesn't sit well with me. 

 
9. Sometimes this smell is so overwhelming I have to leave the room. They probably think I don't love them anymore, but I just have a really sensitive nose. 

8. Yesterday I told Sophia and the neighbor girls "You guys really stink" before I could censor myself. Whoops. 

In my defense, they really did stink.

7. I have a secret movie crush on Jason Bateman. I'm not sure where it came from because during his "Valerie's Family" (or whatever that show was called) days, I actually didn't like him...but then Mr. Magorium happened and I've been prone to J.B. crushes ever since. This weekend I watched "The Switch" and it got worse. Dry + Sarcastic = Pure Awesomeness.

6. Sophia would spend every waking minute on our neighbor's trampoline if I let her. Some days I seriously consider letting her. And then I realize she's entering the phase where she wants to be with her friends more than us and I call her home for no good reason. 

5. This always backfires. 

4. I'm starting to wonder why my older kids find it necessary to argue with their 3 year old Hobbity brother. I mean, really? He's 3. (I usually stop wondering at the exact moment I find myself arguing with him. He's obstinate, that one.) 

3. I did seven projects for my papercrafting book this weekend and I actually like them. I'm getting really exciting to see this one come together! It's been fun getting back into it...and my scrapbook room almost has a floor. When I'm going to paint the walls is a whole different issue. My painting days feels over. At least, I want them to be.

2. I'm on day four of no sugar/starch/dairy (which I don't eat anyway.) I'm eating mostly fruits, veggies and meat (and eggs, if I want them, which happens to me like, twice a year. Not much of an egg fan.) The first day was easy. The second? Considerably harder. The third? Worse. The fourth? Getting better. I know once I get the junk out of my body I'll feel so much better and am thinking of permanently adapting a "no starch" diet. I'm trying to decide if this means I should give up coffee as well (I know, I go through this monthly)... but when my favorite mug broke, I wondered if that was a sign...

This is my mug (on the left) next to a normal sized mug (on the right.) 

(Adam superglued it, but it's a little wobbly. I drink one of those in the morning and no coffee the rest of the day.) I have no idea how this is affecting my body, but I'm wondering if giving it up to find out would be smart. (I've been here before...)

1. Adam just walked in after performing his third installment of "The Sound of Music". His grand entrance into the house TERRIFIED me and I'm still trying to get my heart out of my throat. Excuse me while I go perform the Heimlich maneuver on my own self.

How about you? How was your weekend? I'm hunting for some new blogs to read so if you have one, leave me a note so I can check it out!

Bits and Pieces

Reading:

...and it's rocking my world. (And I've studied this issue to death, so it must be good.) 

I'm thinking we should do an online group to discuss it because it's FULL of good stuff. I've been reading a chapter each morning and taking tons of notes! What do you think?

Also reading:

...and am loving it. Highly recommend this book!

Excited to be a [small] part of this:

I was interviewed for this article:

...and provided ideas for Scrapbooking As You Go...

And I admit, I was pretty excited about it! Love the way it turned out. 

Scrapping:

...for CHA and wishing I was there.

Also making a few cards...

for the Scrapbook Adhesives website...

Watching a little too much of this:

And last night, I fell 100% in love with this number:

(the video isn't online yet.) 

I LOVED it. And I love this kid. (Could be the Broadway connection, I am a theatre geek.) 

And also whipping my living room into shape (not ready to show pictures of that yet. I need my husband's mad picture-hanging skills.) 

It's anything but a relaxing summer. July is our busiest month yet...

But we're still finding time to enjoy. I hope you are too...What are the bits and pieces in your world today?

 

 

 

Recipe for Weekend Fun

Unpacking is a lot like Christmas. We only unpacked the necessities at our rental house, so now we're finding lots of things we have just for fun. 

Like the milkshake maker. No one needs a milkshake maker, but everyone can benefit from the joy they bring. 

We found ours this weekend and decided to break it out after grilling a super healthy meal. We felt it was important to even things out. I bought the milkshake maker for Adam, but at this point, it's pure entertainment for the kids.

The great thing about making your own milkshakes at home is those of us who are dairy free can still play along. Of all the dairy free ice cream options, this is my favorite.

Though, I'm partial to the cookie dough (it's gluten free too). You will not feel like you're missing out on the ice cream experience at all. Trust me. 

While the first milkshake was being spun, the boys, like hound dogs, sniffed out the scent of pure sugar and showed up at the table to see what all the fuss was about. They probably don't even remember doing this back home.

Ethan instantly started making Star Wars noises as the blade crushed the strawberries. I'm still trying to figure out if there's a career for him in the world of cartoon voices. The kid is seriously like a walking sound effect. (It's annoying 99% of the time.)

This was that 1% when it was just funny.

I think this is the precise moment Ethan realized we zipped all his hair off.

"My head's fuzzy." 

Also the precise moment the oldest got jealous that the boys intervened on her milkshake making time. We're working on this with her...everything has to be FAIR 100% of the time. 

Is anyone else dealing with this right now?

It threatened to ruin the whole evening, and after the perfect day we'd had (unpacking...doesn't that sound fun?) we did NOT want to end on a sour note.

We chose to ignore it and focus instead on the sweet stuff in the room...

The Hobbit ended up not loving the milkshake, though, in his defense, it was kinda watered down. And gross. We should've cut the strawberries smaller and used less rice milk. 

He tried it like a champ...

And look awfully Hobbity and cute doing so...

Adam went to town on his strawberry banana, which he decided was the best one he made...

(I took a little taste. He was right...it was good!)

It ended up being the perfect way to spend the evening...sitting around our table like a family after weeks of eating on the floor out of fast food bags.

We just needed it. I needed it. I'd started to lose faith we'd ever have a night like this again. When you're stressed and moving and trying to get a thousand things done (painting, packing, buying, spending, trimming, demolishing...) and realizing none of the appliances in the house you just bought are actually functional, you don't have the patience you want. Everyone is at each other's throats. It's tense. 

But then suddenly, it starts to calm down and you remember that you're doing this for a reason... all the craziness has a purpose. 

And somehow, when you weren't looking, life has sprinkles on it again.

Dig in!

*******

Don't forget there's still time to enter the giveaway for The Big Book of Scrapbook Pages... it's open till tomorrow! Just leave a comment on the post below for your chance to win! :) 

Can Education Help Prevent Eating Disorders?

It's been my experience that when you come through something difficult, you either build your life around getting over it (by talking about it, writing about it, learning about it, etc.) or you shut it away in a box and pretend it doesn't exist. 

For me, I think I sort of divvy up those two things. I talk pretty openly about my issues with eating disorders, but when it comes to my own kids, I think I've put that part of my life away in a box. 

I think part of it is that I don't have the answers of how to overcome an eating disorder. I think the mental illness aspect of it didn't have such a grasp on me, and I think (as cliche as it sounds) that God just kind of brought me out of it. Like Jonah getting spit out of the whale's mouth. 

But I now have a daughter heading into fifth grade. 

Did I just write that? How did that happen? And fifth grade was one of those years for me. Isn't it like that for most girls? Their bodies start to change and they aren't sure how to keep up with it?

I started to notice Sophia developing a few of the same bad habits I did when I was her age, and I had every intention of ignoring it. I thought if I didn't address it, if I never said anything negative about her eating out of boredom or not being active, then she'd be more secure in herself. She'd be more confident. She wouldn't tie all of her self worth into the way she looks. 

Because those things are really important. 

It's important that she understands her self worth has nothing to do with how she looks or what she does. That's important to me. Because I'm 35 and I'm still learning it. 

But how do you teach that to a child?

This weekend, when she and I were singing the Dixie Chicks and painting Ethan's room, she asked me for a snack (again) when I knew she couldn't possibly be hungry. And it dawned on me that I can't ignore this behavior away. She'll never understand how this all works unless I give her to tools to do so. 

I kept all of the focus OFF her appearance, and I told her the way I used to eat when I was her age. I gave her personal examples of what I did that I now know was wrong... At that time, there hadn't been a "fitness craze." There was no bottled water. We drank soda and ate junk food. And no one thought twice about it. There weren't studies about childhood obesity. 

We didn't have the information...and we suffered for it. 

But now, I have the information, and I was holding onto it. I knew I couldn't do that anymore. I told her I noticed sometimes she does what I used to do--eats when she's not hungry. She eats because she's bored. And I said "Sophia, that's dangerous because pretty soon, you'll wanna eat when you're happy or sad or frustrated or depressed. You'll eat because of your feelings, and not because your body needs fuel." 

 
Because that's all food is, isn't it? Fuel to make our bodies go. I explained that food needs to have the right things in it in order to be effective in giving us energy. This was all stuff we didn't know when I was her age. 

How could I deny her this information now? It could help so much. If I can save her from going down the same road I went down, you better believe I'm going to do that. 

I told her about some of the things that trigger eating when you're really not hungry: 

• Feeling like you have to "clean your plate." (I never make my kids do this--I save the food for later and reheat it if necessary.) 
• Eating because it's "time to eat." Who decided you're going to be hungry at noon? And then again at 5:30? 
• Seeing a treat and thinking you have to eat it right now otherwise you won't get any. (I made Sophia a promise that I'd put treats away for her to eat when she's actually hungry.)

And then we talked about the difference between "hungry," "satisfied" and "stuffed to the gills." 

I never, ever meant to talk to Sophia about this. I was content to let this thing play out and ignore her into not having my issues, but I realize now, after having the talk, that denying a child knowledge is no way to handle a problem. It's my job to educate her, to equip her, and to help her learn from my mistakes. 

These "hard talks" are getting more personal and more important...and I'm so glad we're having them now instead of when it's too late.

I guess this is the part of "seeing yourself in your kids" that I sort of dread... but instead of running away from it, I guess it's time to face it all head on. 

It's just too important to ignore...

Win a copy of Gluten Free Cupcakes by Elana Amsterdam! CONTEST CLOSED!

 

Today is Thursday, which in Fort Collins means gluten free cupcakes right over here. The Hobbit and I go there somedays because he doesn't do gluten. Discovering that's what he needed was a long and trying tale which only secured my belief in natural medicine. 

Gluten free cupcakes have become something of a tradition for us. I try to save my errands for Thursday so Sam can have a treat. 

But I'm always a fan of on-demand gluten free treats... which is how I stumbled upon Elana's Pantry in the first place. I was looking for things I could make with almond flour and she's a master. 

I believe I blogged about her pumpkin muffins...

...which I'm quite convinced I could live on. Happily.

 

I've tried many of her recipes and not once have I been disapointed, which is why I was so intrigued by her and her new cookbook...

Gluten Free Cupcakes: 50 Irresistible Recipes Made From Almond and Coconut Flour

...which is FULL of gorgeous color photos and tons of gluten free cupcake, muffin and frosting recipes. It is, in a word, delectable. 

I recently had the chance to ask Elana a few questions, and she was gracious enough to send a copy of her new book for one lucky reader...and believe me, you don't have to be gluten free to appreciate the healthy, delicious recipes you'll find inside. 

Read on for your chance to WIN this beautiful cookbook!

[Courtney] Tell us a little bit about yourself…where you live, who you live with, hobbies, interests etc.

[Elana] I formed my first business ecosav, an environmental consulting firm, specializing in recycling. It might seem to be a big leap from sorting corporate America’s trash to writing recipes in suburbia, but you’ll see how it’s all connected… Running ecosav, I designed recycling and waste analysis programs for my clients and saved them a good deal of money in the process. One day, at the peak of my business success, I woke up and found myself in my 30’s, living in NYC with a husband, toddler and an infant.

What was I doing, I wondered? I felt like a fish out of water. I wanted to raise my boys in a simple environment, similar to the one in which I grew up in Northern California.  My husband and I decided a change of scenery was in order and within a year we moved our family to Colorado. When the last box was unpacked, I realized I was going to be a restless stay at home mom. Even though I remained involved in my New York consulting business, I was really looking for a new venture relevant to my life as a mother.

In my 20’s I studied ayurvedic cooking. When my son and I were diagnosed with celiac disease, this three-year study came in handy. Celiac disease is an inherited autoimmune disorder triggered by eating gluten. Out of necessity my cooking took on an entirely new dimension as we both went on a gluten-free diet.  Unwilling to cook two separate meals each night for my family, I needed to make gluten-free food that tasted like regular food. Would I be able to do this well enough to convince my husband to come home for dinner?  I threw myself into this culinary challenge and my husband, a tough critic, held nothing back. With much trial and many errors, I developed a gluten-free repertoire that tastes delicious. Friends and family now ask for my recipes, even those who are not on restricted diets!

While my cooking might not be complex, I appreciate that my food brings people together –those who eat regular food and those who can’t –to break bread in the warmth of my kitchen. I love to make food that is not only good for you, but actually tastes good. This has become a passion for me.

[Courtney] Describe a typical day. 

[Elana] Wake Up

Work out

Cook/write/shoot food

Pick up boys from school

Help them with their homework

Dinner

Snuggle boys to bed

More work --recipe testing/writing for my blog, magazines, newspapers

Bedtime

[Courtney] What’s your earliest memory in the kitchen?

[Elana] Baking with my mother

[Courtney] For people who are just starting to eat gluten free, what kind of advice do you have for them?

[Elana] Research!

[Courtney] Tell me a little about this cupcake cookbook. Where did the idea come from and how did it come about?

[Elana] Everyone loves cupcakes, I had to do a book with cupcakes for all of us gluten-freers!

[Courtney] What is your favorite cupcake in this cookbook?

[Elana] I don't have a favorite.  My husband likes the Triple Chocolate Cupcakes; my older son loves the Marble Cupcakes, and my younger son loves the Raspberry Cheesecake Cupcakes.

[Courtney] Some people think gluten free means tasteless, what do you say to those people?

[Elana] Try my recipes :-)

I have to agree with Elana. Try her recipes and you'll find a whole new tasty way to eat healthier and without gluten! 

For your chance to win your own copy of this beautiful cookbook, just leave me a comment on this blog post.

Help me spread the word and you can add additional comments every time you link to your Facebook, Twitter or blog! I'll draw a winner on Tuesday, May 17th and one very lucky person will get their own copy of Gluten Free Cupcakes!

*Special thanks to Elana Amsterdam for taking the time to share her gluten free knowledge with the rest of us!

 

Loveland, Colorado: Paciugo

Now that we've lived here for a few months, we've started a list of favorites. Favorite parks. Favorite movie theater. Favorite restaurants.

And of course, Favorite Desserts.

 

When I first found out I was allergic to dairy I said to my naturopath "Does that mean I can't have ice cream?" She said "Ice cream is the absolute worst thing you could have."

 

I think I managed to stifle my sob but only for a moment.

Ice cream was my favorite "treat", so I was disappointed. No DQ in the summer after ballgames? Sacriligious!

Sam and I were relegated to rice milk ice cream or coconut milk ice cream (which actually isn't bad!)

 

(That's a school spirit tattoo on her face. Lovely.)

But then we discovered Paciugo. It's a gourmet gelato cafe with a wide variety of flavors--different every time you go in.

I'd never had gelato, though I dare say after reading Eat, Pray, Love, I probably would've figured out a way to locate some even if I didn't live here.

 

The best part is they have soy based and water based options for people like me and Sam.

And TONS of other amazing options for everyone else. They also have specialty drinks where they make your coffee with the gelato. I have a feeling I shouldn't even try this because they may never get me to leave. And that could get embarrassing.

 

Gelato has 70% less fat than ice cream and it's SO creamy and good.

And fun. There's something fun about walking in and perusing a case full of options. Those are the kinds of decisions that don't stress me out!

I should add that I typically don't like soy. I don't like it in my lattes at all, but for whatever reason, in gelato, it's amazing. That's not saying that sometimes I don't snag a milk-based version and leave it to chance.

 

Sometimes I pay the price for that. Okay, I almost always pay the price for that...but I'm learning the hard lesson that food allergies don't just disappear when you lose weight. They're also agitated by stress. My stomach is mostly wobbly these days and I know I just need to figure out how to relax. It's a process.

The best part about Paciugo, of course, is taste-testing all the different flavors and deciding what kind to get. They have tiny little spoons for this purpose. My kids love it.

 

Even the big kid.

We went when my mom and dad were here. They love it too. In fact, I think my mom and I went back a couple of extra times just the two of us, but I'm sworn to secrecy on that one. We could make a meal of gelato and we're perfectly okay with that.

I know my mom's gonna kill me for posting a picture of her, but look how happy Ethan is. Focus on Ethan, Mom.

 

Cute, no?

Doesn't it make your mouth water just looking at it?

 

The coffee flavors are my favorite. And I never used to like coffee ice cream.

Sam almost always gets some sort of sorbet.

 

Clearly, we all leave satisfied...

 

P.S. Thanks so much for sharing in my exciting news yesterday! I am over the moon and you guys made me even MORE excited! :)

Buttercream Cupcakery, Fort Collins, Colorado

I have a bit of a fascination with cupcakes. One of my very favorite blog posts ever is called Cupcake Dreams. I think people who read it thought maybe I actually knew how to bake and decorate cupcakes.

I don't. I just dream of this kind of place, I guess. Some days I think running a sugary-sweet shoppe would be the perfect way to spend my days. Even though I lack the know-how and talent to do so.

 

When we moved to Fort Collins, I discovered I wasn't the only one in love with the idea. This town has its very own Cupcakery. And on Thursdays, they do one gluten free flavor.

It's called Buttercream Cupcakery and it served as the perfect bribery for me to cut the Hobbit's hair.

 

His hair had gotten out of control, so last Thursday, we went for a cut. The woman wasn't nice. She was pretty direct (Read: MEAN) and she kept commenting about how bad his hair looked (like I didn't know that already.) But she got the job done. She scared him into sitting still.

And I'd promised Cupcakes.

I'm not above bribing my children. I say whatever works. I try not to do it with food, but it is what it is.

He did amazingly well. And when we got to the cupcake shop, he literally stole the cupcake off the counter before I even paid for it.

 

He was pretty happy. It's rare that he gets a treat that doesn't taste like cardboard with frosting on it. Ok, that's not really true. We've come a long way with this gluten free stuff, baby.

My sugar-fasting self watched him with watering tastebuds but it didn't last long. He polished that sucker off in record time.

 

Who can blame him? They're so pretty.

Afterwards, he asked for another one.

 

Holy long lashes batman. The injustice of it all.

 

Sam didn't even care that the flavor of the week was coconut. He devoured it. Frosting first.

 

I love spending my days with him. When my other kids are in school, the Hobbit is like an angel-prince. No joke. He's so fun and easy and he says things to me like "Peach!? I need to go poopie."

TMI?

He calls me Peach. And he means it. And I call him Mario. And he loves it.

We're quite a pair.

 

Smitten with him and with the cupcakes.

I did start adding small bits of sugar back into my diet, but I got pretty sick, so these cupcakes are for decorative purposes only. Well, until my kids get a hold of them. Then, they're gone.

 
If you're ever in Fort Collins, visit Buttercream Cupcakery. They have great flavors (Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint!? Pistachio?! Red Velvet!?) Yum. For now, it's doing quite nicely to serve my cupcake dreams.

 
Yum.

A few of my (foodie) favorite things

When we moved, I sort of backslid when it came to my healthy eating mission.  Moving takes a strange toll on a person. Especially on a mom. Suddenly, we needed to eat cheaper, quicker and I had to figure out what grocery stores were going to be the best for what we needed.

Oh, I still planned menus, but they were things I likely never would've fed my family before. (High fructose corn syrup? Hydrogenated oils? Um. Yuck.) I packed lunches, but they weren't healthy, they were cheap and easy.

But, in true New Year's form, I resolved to do things differently. We've been here long enough, I've budgeted well enough and I've learned to endure an electric stove* (sort of ) enough that I had no more excuses.

*I take back what I said about the stove. Last night it burned my granola with 10 minutes left on the timer and I decided I pretty much hate it.

I'm back on the health food wagon. And I'm really excited. I thought I'd share a few awesome resources I've found to help me on my journey.

First, bento boxes.

 
(have you seen these?)

My friend Amber posted about these a few months ago, but with our impending move I never really "caught the vision." Now, I get it. I want to be able to fill my kids full of fresh foods and this Japanese-inspired way of doing lunch is inspiring me.

I think it was this blog that first started me on my quest. Fed up with School Lunch. About a year ago they had a guest post from an American teacher in Japan. You wouldn't believe the differences in the way they do lunch over there. As I sort of have a volatile relationship with food to begin with, I found their approach completely enlightening. Take time to nourish your body. Eat quietly. Enjoy the food. Can you imagine?

And seriously, if you saw Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution, you've got to know what I'm talking about.

 
Anyway. Back to Bento boxes. I'm planning to order some from this site. And I'm currently devouring this blog to figure out what in the world to put in the darn things. I've never been very good at packing, so this is a new challenge for me.

Check out this list of food ideas for lunch! How awesome is that?

Another awesome blog (that I found thanks to my FB Friend Sherry) is Another Lunch, although when I showed this one to Adam he shot me a look of disbelief. He didn't have to say anything I knew what it meant. "Are you really going to do this?" No, I take it back. He actually did say that.

 
Source

Well, no. Not like she does it. But I'm all over the idea of fewer plastic baggies, less waste and healthy lunch. Three birds my friends.

With my kids home yesterday for the Day of the Prez, I tried it out with my own little Tupperware.

 
(PB&J on gluten free bread, carrots, sugar snap peas (our new fave), grapes, GF pretzels, strawberries)

Needless to say, I didn't have all the cute accessories, but lunch was a tremendous hit. Sophia and Ethan ate every last crumb. The Hobbit's sat on the table for many hours, slowly dwindling as he grazed like a moo-cow. He eventually ate most of it, though I'm gathering he's not too fond of his gluten free pretzels. Wouldn't even touch them.

Ethan's was mostly the same, though I got two mini sandwiches out of their bread. (The GF bread is smaller.) Ethan got a star and a bug. Cream cheese and jelly. He even ate the snap peas. Without ranch.

 

Sophia got two heart sandwiches and Colorado made potato chips (does that make them healthier, if their local? Let's go with "yes.")

 

In a perfect world, I think I would've also given them some cheese, but I really don't buy much cheese. I've come to realize it's probably because I feel sorry for myself because I can't really eat it, but my kids love it so I'm going to have to deal.

This morning, their lunches were nearly identical. They looked like this:

 

Two toned sandwiches, yogurt covered raisins, strawberries, hard boiled egg, carrots, cauliflower, and cherry tomatoes, (Sophia had snap peas too) Clif bar for kids, organic milk and applesauce.

There's still some excess waste here (the applesauce, the clif bar wrapper) but we're cutting way back. I put a the hard boiled egg in unpeeled but soon I plan to hook myself up with these bad boys:

 
You can find them here.

And there's a great tutorial on how to use them here.

I mean, seriously:

 
Source

Did you know you could do that with an egg?

I'm also loving this post, with tons of great healthy lunch ideas. I struggle with ideas (Can I get a witness?)

Plus, someday I'm going to have to pack school lunches for my Hobbit, so I might as well get a head start researching ways to pack allergy-free. Also on that site is this amazing chart which I am printing out to put up on my fridge because at 7 a.m. I need all the help I can get.

And yes, I know I should pack lunches the night before. I almost never do.

It's the curse of the procrastinator.

One last thing I have to share with you...especially you gluten free eaters out there...

This weekend, I also tackled a little baking with almond flour. (I usually use rice flour, but wanted to try the almond flour. I think it's better for you.)

A lot of people have asked why I'm cutting out sugar and the short answer is, it's really bad for you. It makes me break out, makes me crabby, and I don't like feeling addicted to it. (Though apparently my coffee addiction gives me no reason to pause.)

The two black bananas on my counter led me to  Elana's Pantry.

I made this delectable bread:

 
Here's her recipe.  

*I didn't have grape seed oil, so I used 1/2 butter and 1/2 olive oil. I also substituted Stevia for the agave nectar. I've read mixed things about agave (namely that it has a LOT of sugar?? No clue, but I'm not doing sugar, so I didn't want to risk it.) It turned out amazing. I LOVE this bread. If I made it again, I probably wouldn't change a thing.

My kids devoured this stuff and are already begging for more! Elana's also got a great frosting recipe if you can have heavy cream. (I can't.) I bet that's YuMMo!

I like being refocused on our health. I like realizing that it's worth a little extra cost to eat well and to feed my family well. Would love to hear your healthy lunch ideas. Busy moms need to stick together so lay it on me.

*And thank you for all the comments on yesterday's post. This is new territory for us so it's interesting to explore the feelings associated with finding a church. Thank you for sharing your stories.  

 

Things I'm Loving Right This Second...

I don't think I've ever done a post about all the things I'm loving right now. There are quite a few things that make me happy on any given day, but on this day, here are the things that make the top of the list.

1. Finishing up edits on my first novel.

 
This book is the first in a three book series for Guideposts and yes, I still have LOTS of work to do before all three are done! I'm excited because the book takes so many things I love and melds them together. It's a story about friendship in a beach town, complete with clapboard cottages a big scrapbook full of memories right at the heart of it all. Can't think of a better way to infuse everything I love into one story! Anyway, that's how I'm spending my days. And seeing the story evolve like I have...it's just pretty darn exciting!

2. Flying Lessons, the Whole Shebang

 
This e-book, by Kelly Rae Roberts, has been challenging and inspiring me in so many ways. The most ironic thing is that after I posted yesterday (which was actually Wednesday at midnight,) I discovered "Who Does She Think She Is" is not just a question that pelts me in the back of my mind when I think of doing something new...it's something lots of people struggle with. So many that they've made a documentary. Which tells me two things. 1. I'm not alone. 2. Sometimes we, as artists really do have the same ideas at the same time. (Other times, people steal ideas. That's just not cool.)

3.Yep. I'm a little late to the game.

 
Thanks to my friend Shannan, Friday Night Lights has been on my mind.  When I hit the Target Clearance aisle earlier this week and saw Seasons 1 & 2 for $15, I knew I had to snatch them up. I watched two episodes yesterday and discovered I had seen the first one before, but for some reason, I didn't keep watching. So, I'm hooked now. And I don't even like football.

4. White Peach Oolong Tea

 
I didn't make new year's resolutions this year. Truth be told, I sort of feel like I'm living one big, fat resolution by living in Colorado, so it didn't seem appropriate to add more to my list. But, that doesn't mean some changes weren't in order after the gorge-fest that was Christmas.

I'm following a pretty restricted diet right now, and part of that is that I don't eat or drink any sugar. For me, that means no creamer (because I have to have non-dairy creamer) which means no coffee. A good way to help the headaches and still have something warm in my hands in the morning (like right now) is to drink this tea sweetened with Stevia. It's been wonderful until I feel I can go back to the regular coffee.

5. Soul Restoration

 
I'm participating in Melody's e-course Soul Restoration  so far, I'm really enjoying it. They've obviously put a TON of work into this class, and for people (like me) who can't attend Brave Girls Camp, it's a great alternative. I'm hoping to spend the evening working on the first two projects. I'm pretty sure Mel is offering it again in the spring, so if you didn't get into it this time, you'll have another chance!

6. Banana Paper Notebooks

 
Photo Credit here.

I picked these little guys up and let them sit awhile before I figured out what to do with them. I'm using one for all the notes I'm taking for Kelly Rae's class, recording my creative dreams, my fears, inspiring quotes and important reminders to myself... I LOVE it. I'm planning to use another one for Soul Restoration. I've always been a notebook freak and these little guys are perfect!

Questions for You: What are you loving right now? What are your favorite things? What websites MUST I check out? I'd love to hear what jazzes you!

 

Melt in Your Mouth Sugar Cookies..thank me later.

 

One of my favorite things about Christmas is the baking. Several years ago, I started baking for our neighbors. People we almost never talked to. From the moment they got the cookies to the moment they got the cookies, even the crabbiest folks turned nice.

I've always found sugar bridges almost any gap.

Sugar cookies are by far my favorite. Even though I try not to eat flour (it's gotten progressively more difficult this past two months), three members of my family have no yeast/wheat or gluten issues so I convinced myself I was making these for them. Plus, I wanted to bake with Sophia and these were the perfect first recipe to try!

I usually use the Ethel's sugar cookie recipe from the good old Betty Crocker Cooky Book (she spells cookie that way, not me. Silly Betty.)

 
This book takes me right back to my childhood. I think I've blogged about it before. My mom's was falling apart, caked with flour and is still a staple to Christmas.

But, I've baked LOTS of the cookies in it so when I saw this guy:

 
at my local Sunflower Market, I knew I had to have it in all it's colorful goodness. I want to try every recipe in this bad boy. Seriously. I don't want to eat them. I want to give them away. Spread cheer and all that holly jolly jazz.

Anyway, this "Melt-in-your-mouth sugar cookies" recipe is to die for. For people who love sugar cookies but don't have time (this week) to do all the cut outs. (We're saving that for when we go to my mom's!)

 
I can personally tell you they really DO melt in your mouth. And I have no shame in telling you that three or four have melted in mine over the course of the week. They have a distinctly different taste than rolled sugar cookies and I think you will love them!

Yesterday, Adam asked me to make them again. (He doesn't usually like sugar cookies because he--get this--doesn't like frosting! What is wrong with him?) Since Sophia helped me the first time, I REALLY set her loose and let her make this batch. I LOVE that she's learning to bake and cook at her age...and she did a GREAT job.

I mean look at these! mmmm....

 

So I didn't take step by step Pioneer Woman snapshots because really I wasn't in the kitchen the whole time, but they're so easy you won't need them. Recipe is below. Enjoy!

 

Prep: 30 minutes
Bake: 12 minutes per batch (I did 11. They were perfect.)
Oven: 300 degrees

Ingredients

• 1/2  cup  butter, softened
• 1/2  cup  shortening
• 2  cups  sugar
• 1  teaspoon  baking soda
• 1  teaspoon  cream of tartar
• 1/8  teaspoon  salt
• 3    egg yolks
• 1/2  teaspoon  vanilla
• 1-3/4  cups  all-purpose flour

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. In a large mixing bowl, beat butter and shortening with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar, baking soda, cream of tartar, and salt. Beat mixture until combined, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat in egg yolks and vanilla. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Stir in any remaining flour.

2. Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.

3. Bake in the preheated oven for 12 to 14 minutes or until edges are set; do not let edges brown. Cool cookies for 1 minute on cookie sheet. Transfer cookies to a wire rack and let cool.

To Store: (Who are we kidding? They won't be around long enough to store!) Layer cookies between waxed paper in an airtight container; cover. Store at room temperature for up to 3 days or freeze for up to 3 months.

Question for YOU: What do you love to bake every year?

Work in Progress

It seems like there's a lot in the news right now about Eating Disorders. Portia de Rossi's new book just came out, and I caught the last bit of Oprah's interview with her. I was struck by her amazing bravery. To speak so openly about this dark thing that held her captive for so many years.

It's not something that's easy to do.

 

Clearly.

I listened to her talk and I cried. Mostly because I understand this line of thinking. This morning my scale was up and my first thought was “I shouldn’t eat anything today.”

I have a feeling this isn’t healthy.

I understand that feeling that I've somehow lost control if I snitch a piece of Halloween candy. I get it. But I wonder--when did food become my enemy?

I was talking with a friend the other day, and she wondered why some people who are ridiculed as kids or teenagers seem to process it well, never hate themselves and grow up to be perfectly well adjusted adults. And others, like me, internalize this ridicule. Replay it over and over in our minds. Decide that no matter what we achieve, no matter how happy we are… these are the things that define us.

And that we'll never be enough.

I know in my head it’s not right. Or healthy. I know God loves me and made me in His image. I’ve just convinced myself that I’ve taken what He’s given me and messed it up somehow. Surely he wants me to be thin. Doesn't he?

As I watched that interview, Portia de Rossi’s brutal honesty struck me in such a profound way. Realizing you have this issue, this problem—even when in your head, you KNOW the truth—it’s a hard thing to talk about. I’m almost 35. I should be past this. I don’t want to get old worrying about my weight. What a waste of time.

 

Ever since I had Sam, I’ve been struggling to figure out what’s wrong with my body. I’ve gone from extreme exercise to Weight Watchers to clean eating and back again. I’ve considered becoming a vegetarian and done juice fasts and detox. And all the while, I prayed for answers. Why was nothing working?

After all I’ve done to my body, it’s no wonder that now my body is starting to turn on me. Hashimoto’s is when your immune system attacks your thyroid. For me, my triggers were food allergies. Dairy especially (I was drinking a LOT of lattes). But also yeast. My doctor looked at me and said “This was probably brought on by all the starving you’ve done.”

I think deep down I already knew that. Now that I'm relatively healthy, my body won't cooperate. Now that I'm ready to do it the right way, the right way isn't working. What was once easy has become hard...and I wonder what I'm meant to learn through this. It's like someone is saying "Will you stick with it... or will you go back to the old way?"

It's like I'm being dared.

I found this story on the Weight Watchers website which also made me cry. I wanted to email this lady and tell her I could've written her words myself and beg her to tell me it won't be so hard. But near the end of the article she says "I wish I could say the weight loss was easy, but it wasn't. There were plenty of upsetting setbacks. I remember going to a meeting after what I thought was a really good week, and the scale told me I was up 4 pounds. I was so upset; I couldn't stay through the meeting. At that point, I still had more than 100 pounds to lose, and I thought, "I'll never get there at this rate. I'll be 100 years old by the time I reach goal."

I've so been there.

Years ago, I hid this from everyone, but now, I think talking about it is the only way to rob it of its power. At the end of her interview, Portia told Oprah that there’s a fine line between extreme dieting and an eating disorder.

I think I teeter on that line daily.

I console myself by telling myself that I never went crazy. I never did laps in a parking lot after chewing gum. I must be okay.

But really, am I? If all we do is obsess over what we're going to eat and allow that number on the scale to determine our mood--to essentially determine our happiness... are we okay?

And if we aren't, how do we overcome it? How do we move beyond this unrealistic expectation of perfection--the one we can't possibly achieve? How do we look at the people who love us and think "Yes. This is enough." How do we see ourselves through their eyes?

How do we finally come to a place where we can say "I am beautiful. Just like I am."

And not think in the back of our minds "But I sure would like to be ten pounds thinner"?

I hesitate to post this. I am pretty transparent here. I'll give you a bulleted list of all my flaws--but this one? This is like, the underbelly. The dark, seedy truth that I think I want to ignore. Because it's easier to just sweep it under the rug.

I'm a sweeper.

But. Sweeping it won't make it go away. And I guess this is just one more way that I'm a work in progress. I wish I could write a letter to Portia de Rossi, to thank her for telling her story. She articulates thoughts and feelings I've never been able to put into words. Thoughts I'd rather not come to terms with, if I'm honest. But she has. And I'm inspired by her.

Inspired to release myself of the stranglehold.

Somehow. I'm gonna get there.

How to eat gluten free cupcakes.

Sometimes at night we find the most hilarious things around the house. I'm over thinking die cast Thomas trains and Lightning McQueens are hilarious...those, to me, are just annoying.

But this?

 
Made me laugh. These pictures are from a couple of months ago but they still make me laugh. If you look closer, you'll see that Woody knows how to take down the bad guys.

Course he had a little help from his friends...

 
My guess is he's got Lego Indiana Jones under control in a serious way.

After all, he decapitated the poor guy AND ran over him with the police cruiser.

 

You don't get much deader than that.

I had no idea Woody was so hard core.

In other news, in beautiful but windy Fort Collins we have a Cupcakery. I want to do a whole post on it because, if you've been reading my blog for awhile you know about my Cupcake Dreams... Something about cupcakes...

Anyway, on Thursdays they have gluten free cupcakes.

And yes, that made for one happy little hobbit.

 

I want you to notice the placement of my hobbit's tongue. I guess he's more Sam-wise than Frodo given that Sean Astin has something of a lisp too. Am I gonna have to worry about this?

I mean, check it out.

 
Don't mind the residual blood around and on his nose. Sometimes fighting with him to clean it off just isn't worth it and I'm too lazy to re-open Photoshop to edit it. We come as we are on this blog. 

(Nosebleed update though: Humidifiers are awesome. Hasn't had one since we put it in his room!)

Anyway, he was pretty happy with his vanilla bean cupcake (I tasted it. You would NEVER have known it was gluten free. Ok. I did more than taste it. I ate one. A whole one. Gosh, I can't even pretend I didn't. It was really, really good.)

 
In the interest of full disclosure I can tell you we have little self control when it comes to cupcakes 'round these parts.

We just dive right in.

 

...and enjoy.

Happy Tuesday!

Mama's on Deadline...

...And everything goes to pot!

 
What's that you say? You want a close up?

Oh, I can oblige. There's no pride here.

 

So, I am working on my Sweethaven series for Guideposts. Writing Book Two when all of the sudden my edits come in for Book One. (It's a 3-book series.)

So I panic and drop everything to edit Book One, but no matter how diligent I am, it's always a race to the finish line. (Isn't that always the way??)

This is round three of edits on this book and I am getting a first-rate education in the massive amount of work it takes to write a novel. This ain't for the faint of heart, people.

And yes, I DO know "ain't ain't a word."

When Mama's on deadline...little boys swipe girlie hats and wear them to the bus stop...

 
They aren't proud about it. They like the soft feel of the girlie hat on their Hobbit Hair.

When Mama's on deadline...Little girls fall asleep listening to Mommy's Ipod...cross-legged and wrapped in a sweater.

 
Too good not to photograph.

I mean, who sleeps like this?

 
My belly would be cold.

Well, I would never let my belly hang out like that. I don't want to frighten my husband.

When Mama's on deadline...

Daddy does the boy's hair. And the boys don't get haircuts. It's just hair chaos I tell you.

 
And they don't care.

And neither do I.

 
La-la-la.

The back yard is a shambles...

 

Cause Mama's on deadline.

And we eat out more than usual. Typically, we only eat out once a week... unless Mama's on deadline.

Then we eat out, well, more than once a week...And we leave the leftovers on the table.

 
In case someone wants to nibble at them hours later.

When Mama's on deadline, the kids find great ways to entertain themselves. Like art.

 
Masterpiece. I'm thinkin' prodigy.

They always clean up after themselves so nicely.

 
So eager to help, ya know...cause Mama's on deadline.

I'm still on deadline for Book Two, but knowing I finished that edit makes me want to jump up and down and scream.

But...that's not happening anytime soon...

Cause this Mama has a house to clean!!

Happy Friday, friends. :)

Love of the mundane

I sort of live my life on deadline. Ever since I graduated college, it seems I've been thriving on deadlines. I worked for a newspaper. We worked deadline every morning. Proofing and changing and writing...all to get the paper out on time.

I directed shows. Opening night gave us one great big deadline marked with a gold star on the calendar.

I started scrapbooking for publication. Getting assignments. Always on deadline. 

I started writing for Memory Makers. Every month: deadlines.

I wrote scrapbooking books. Always with a deadline. Artwork deadlines. Text deadlines.

I started writing fiction. Big. Fat. Deadlines. Scary deadlines because while I read about writing fiction all the time, this is my first attempt at doing it on deadline. With a contract.

And I loved every second of it. Even, I have to say, the rewriting, which is usually where I lose steam.

But when the deadline passed and I realized I had a week-long cushion before I had to tackle the next deadline (and then the next, and the next...) I decided to revel in the mundane.

Tasks that required no thought. No stringing together of words. No thoughtful metaphors. Just mundane. And I loved it.

I started here:

I'd already cleaned off two shelves before I realized I didn't snap a horrible "before" shot. The pantry was out of control. Every time I opened it, some hidden force from somewhere deep beyond literally THREW things at me. Boxes and cans would fall or shoot in my direction, landing on uncovered toes and challenging my personal conviction not to swear.

Something had to be done.

I started by dragging EVERYTHING out. Good lord, what a job.

I covered the table.

And later, the floors and counters. It's amazing how much STUFF you can STUFF into a pantry.

The word "ridiculous" springs to mind.

Equally ridiculous was the dust city waiting for me on the floor once everything had been cleared away. I hate dust. It's kind of annoying in a dirty, grimy sort of way.

I swept it all out and threw a TON of processed food away. I threw away food from 2008. I think one box was even "best by 2006" which is sad because that means I moved that box from my old house to my new house in 2007.

My goal was to move some of the pots and pans that are taking up precious counter space into the pantry. I succeeded.

It's certainly not going to be featured in Better Homes and gardens or win me any organizational awards, but if you could see the two huge bags of garbage I recycled or threw away, you would have a better understanding of the load that has been lifted.

The Hobbit kept me company the entire time. At one point, I realized I'd been duped into believing giving him apples and peanut butter was a great way to get him to eat some fruit.

Note:

All the apples. None of the peanut butter. Sneak.

Friday night, we had our weekly family night. We're trying to be more vigilant about protecting it, making sure the kids know this is important to us. I'm hoping it's a tradition we can continue until we're in adult diapers.

This past Friday we made mini pizzas. Everyone made their own.

Everyone also found it necessary to eat the shredded mozzarella by the handful.

It's a good thing we don't believe in germs 'round here.

I cooked the sausage, set out the cheese and sauce and let them go to town. Personally, I would've loved some veggies on mine, but I got sidetracked and ran out of time...

They did a great job. Even Sam.

Sam and I made special gluten free pizzas:

which I am going to tell you, were amazing. I buy these crusts from Kinnikinnick because I don't have a GF pizza crust recipe yet, but Sam and I both loved them. We could've shared one because we each only ate half, but they make great leftovers too.

It was a great night, after the kids finished whining about how they wanted to do something else and it's so boring to make pizzas. (This is my favorite part of family night...)

...that and the fact that no one can make a normal face for a photo anymore.

Not the middle monkey...

...or his Hobbity shadow...

...or even the girl one, who sometimes surprises me with how weird she can make her face look.

We then watched "The Spy Next Door" which was pretty cute even though it only got 13% at Rotten Tomatoes. It always makes me laugh because chick flicks and kids' movies get the worst reviews. But then a terrible movie like "Up in the Air" (sorry, I HATED it) gets 90%. I don't get it. Talk about depressing.

The rest of the weekend, I found time to read this book:

...which I absolutely loved. Susan Meissner likes to weave a historical thread into her contemporary novels, which I absolutely love. I LOVE history (especially WW2, which makes a grand appearance in this book) but for some reason, I'm not in love with historical fiction. This, to me, is a great cross between the two, and I love how this story unfolds. It was a great read.

I intended to pass it along to my mom but found out she had her own copy which she finished this weekend on the plane to and from Georgia. Great minds. She loved it too.

I especially loved (don't hate me for this) that there was realistic language in this Christian novel. Meaning...there were about four swear words. Light, mild swear words, but in the kind of situation where a person would actually swear. Even a Christian. Why did I like this aspect when maybe in the past my prudish tendencies would've been more surprised? I think because it added to the realism. Writing dialogue that sounds REAL is hard. Creating believable characters is HARD.

Susan Meissner did it so well. It takes guts,and I LOVE that she put the character before the "idea" of what a character should be.

A great read. I read it in two days. I highly recommend it.

How was your weekend?
 

Famous Dave's Key Lime Pie

The last gluten-filled dessert I ever ate... homemade key lime pie.

A couple of years ago we discovered Famous Dave's. I have no idea how or why we hadn't known about it or why we went there in the first place. I've since discovered their sauces are not gluten-free so we probably won't go there very often from now on...but Adam is a key lime pie fiend. He is not, however, much of a cake person.

So, for his birthday, I made Key Lime Pie, Famous Dave's style.

And she saw that it was good.

I expected this to be difficult the first time I made it, but it's really super easy. If you or someone you know don't mind the gluten and LOVE key lime, this is a must-try!

Ok. Starts with the crust. You need:

 

CRUST
1 cup graham cracker crumbs
2/3 cup gingersnap cookie crumbs
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
¾ teaspoon grated Key lime or lime peel

I swear it's the gingersnaps that make all the difference.

Anyway. Combine graham cracker crumbs, gingersnap crumbs, butter, brown sugar and lime peel in a bowl. I should also tell you that The Hobbit was sleeping when I made this, so I actually had to go into the garage and use a mallet to hammer crumbs out of my graham crackers and gingersnaps.

It wasn't until later, when I was cleaning out the pantry I discovered I had a whole box of graham cracker crumbs--no pounding required.

Mix until crumbs cling together to form a coarse mixture. Press crumb mixture over the bottom and up the side of a 9-inch pie plate. This is about the only time I feel it's okay to touch butter. I have a butter thing. I hate it. I can only eat it if it's melted. If I saw a glob of butter on, say, a piece of toast, I would get a little nauseous. And if it gets on my hands, I have to wash them immediately.

Don't even talk to me about when it gets under my fingernails. Barf.

 
Chill crust in the refrigerator.

Now, you have to prepare the filling. Which is the best part, if you ask me.

You'll need...

 
FILLING
6 egg yolks
1 ¾ cups sweetened condensed milk
½ cup Key lime juice
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 teaspoons grated Key lime or lime peel
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
¼ teaspoon lemon oil
1/8 teaspoon salt

Getting the yolks out of those eggs is, I'm sure, pretty easy for all of you seasoned chefs. For me, this is a rarity, but I did okay...

Then I got cocky. Whatever you do, don't get cocky when separating yolks from whites. You'll end up like me...

With an entire yolk in your garbage bowl. Bad. Bad.

Ok, so preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Then you can whisk up these beautiful yolks.

If you're like me, you also don't have a real whisk and you have to use the one that came with your blender. Whatever...it's ok. I won't judge you.

 

Stir in condensed milk, lime juice, lemon juice, lime peel, lemon peel, lemon oil and salt. Oh, and for the record, I have no idea what lemon oil is. I've never used it when I've made this and I've never missed it. Don't tell Famous Dave.

What you'll end up with is something that looks like this. Don't fret that you are a messy baker. It's okay. Creative people thrive in chaos. (Do you believe me?)

For me, that looks a little like LEMON PIE...so I add my secret ingredient...

I have no idea if food coloring is bad for you, so if you are a natural health nut like the one I'm striving to become, you might want to find out before you make this. Oh, and you might need a replacement for the sweetened condensed milk because, uh, I'm pretty sure it's not healthy AT. ALL.

Anyway, I throw a few drops in...

Stir it up, pour it in my chillin' pie crust and stick it in the oven for about 15-20 minutes. (Until filling is set.)

It comes out looking suspiciously similar to how it looked when it went in...

It's ok. It's YUMMY. You know, if you aren't watching your weight and aren't the least bit concerned about what you're putting in your body. (Can you tell I'm feeling convicted about sharing this recipe?)

Anyway, chill it and serve it with whipped cream. With any luck, your version will end up looking something like this:

Mine wasn't around long enough to look pretty. :)

Happy Friday! Have a great one!

Gluten Free Banana Bread

I've mentioned before that I get this amazing organic delivery every other week. When I first set it up, Sam was in a major banana phase, and since we all eat bananas (except Sophia, big surprise), I added extra bananas to every order. Like five pounds extra. Now, I wish there was a way to get half of those yellow and half green but there's not. Usually all the bananas are at the same level of ripeness. Since, in my mind, bananas are only good for like two days in their life cycle, this presents a bit of a challenge as I am not into wasting food.

So, these black-ish bananas have been tormenting me for a few days now. Adam asked if I could make some banana bread. I planned to make two loaves. One gluten free and one not. But when I realized I only had three eggs and I was halfway through the gluten free loaf, I realized he was gonna have to wait for his "regular loaf."

Besides, Ethan was pretty excited at the thought of making a loaf that we could all eat. (He's sweet like that.)

We started with finding this recipe. 

I am always hesitant when trying out gluten free recipes. Some of them are just gross, but we gave it our best and started mixing.

The boys are fascinated by the Kitchen-aid. Well, I am too, if I'm honest. Fascinated that I can turn it on and walk away. I love this thing. Ethan was like, "Mom, do you LOVE this kitchen-aid mixer?" At which point, I kissed it and put a ring on its finger. Yes, that is how much I love it.

Don't ask me how they got on the counter and do NOT--whatever you do--look in the background. For some reason (book deadline) I'm not so concerned about cleaning this week. I promise you my kitchen DOES get cleaned every now and then.

We must have been expecting company.

Anyway, Ethan was the expert banana masher and he pretty much put every single ingredient into Big Red. Then he proceeded to stick his nose down so close to the mixer that I expected him to emerge with a hole in his face.

Thankfully, that didn't happen.

...Though that would be one way to teach him a lesson, no?

My take on this bread that I forgot to take a picture of...?

It's amazing. Make it. Even if you don't need to eat gluten free, you will love it. My real test was Adam, who came home from rehearsal, ate a piece, then said "you made bread." I let him finish it and then I said, "And it's gluten free."

Normally, I think this would've stopped him from inhaling anymore and he probably would've up-chucked the portion he already ate, but this time, he ate another piece.

It was THAT good.

Yep. Gluten free can be delicious! If you make it, let me know what you think!!

Happy Friday!   

Randomosity

I couldn't sleep last night. Perhaps it was the two hour nap I took yesterday. Someone on Facebook asked me if I was pregnant. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep--I was worrying and being all paranoid, but NO, I'm not. I think this is all hormonal, this crashing and sleeping at random times.

I did get to spend extra time enjoying the thunderstorm. Just wish I'd been dozing at least...

So, for today...random.

My least favorite game my kids play. It's just called "Puppy." Sophia (the boss) always says, "Ok, come here, puppies," and the boys (the peons) get down on all fours and pant. This could go on for hours, I swear. And while they almost never fight while playing "Puppy", I find it to be a tiny bit disturbing.

I mean, she hooks this weird hook thing onto his pants and makes him a leash.

And yes, he's wearing pajamas. You'll see the theme throughout this post. He asks for them. What's a pajama-loving mommy to do? I can't be a hypocrite and tell him he needs clothes with a waistband. (shudder)

Ethan had his stage debut. I say "stage" but really it was in his classroom. They did an adorable play version of Aesop's Fables. He played two parts, the first was the Fox in "The Fox and the Crow."

I should tell you I DID agonize over his costume and when I found a tiger hat at Michaels, I thought I could transform it into a fox.

I had no idea Ethan wouldn't even put the ears up.

Here he is being dramatic. He loved it, by the way. He is already asking when he'll be old enough to be in CYT shows. :) Chip off the old blockhead.

Sam has a shoe thing. Meaning: he always wants them on. And usually, not his own shoes. And yes, he's in pajamas again. (Don't judge me.)

Those are Ethan's. Notice they're on the wrong feet. He doesn't care. He's playing "Where ARE me?"

Oooh, I think he spied me. I should probably run hide. He does sometimes hate to have his picture taken.

Just one more...

To prove to you that he's not picky about which shoes he wears, here's another one. I find these to be especially nice photos with the mound of laundry in the background.

Yep. Those are mine. Need a closer look?
 
Don't look too close, you'll see how dirty his pants are already (and I think these were taken in the morning.) Also, I really have confiscated that pacifier. These photos were in my "April" folder...before I laid down the pacifier laws.

Now that I'm going gluten free, I am anxious to try a bunch of new recipes, but there's just one problem. I am a total clutz in the kitchen.

Last week, I was making the kids' lunches when I tossed the bread on top of the refrigerator (what you don't keep your bread there?) and it JUMPED off, landed on the counter and knocked my Bath and Body Works LIT Twilight Woods candle onto the floor.

Hot wax. Everywhere. In the cracks. Thank God for my husband who ALWAYS cleans up when I do this. I think he's afraid I'll hurt myself.

Just the week before, I spilled the entire canister of bread crumbs on the floor:

It takes a special person to be this clumsy.

The Hobbit is a king with a throne. A pillow throne. He routinely takes every. single. pillow. in the house and creates a little nest:

He's also taken up winking:

He's getting pretty good at it, no?

One way he makes sure we never forget we're living with a two-year-old:

Inside my little church is also a small plastic "Yoshi" (from Super Mario Bros. fame) and a Hot Wheels Race Car.

Can't help but feel sorry for the dino, though... He appears to be suffering a great trauma:

You know how schools send home stuffed animals to spend the weekend with you? We had a visitor about a week ago. His name was Wooly. Don't tell Ethan, but Adam and I spilled an entire glass of paint water on Wooly. (Shhh!) Thankfully, it all came out. Stained our carpet, but...at least the lamb was safe.

We sent Wooly back to school with documentation of our visit:
  

It's so much easier to clean up after digital scrapbooking.

Also this month was Adam's birthday. 35. Ha. He's 35. Halfway to 40. Sophia snapped this lovely picture of Adam and his bride, who is in dire need of a haircut and highlights. (Seriously? Is my natural color black?)

Ethan wanted in on the action:
 

And then the Hobbit had to join us as well...
 

...and then mass chaos ensued. It was mayhem, I tell ya...
  

When we finally got these children off of us, we ate the homemade key lime pie I made. We also ate Giordano's Pizza (this was my last gluten-filled meal...)

Halfway through the dessert, we realized we didn't sing or do candles.

So not cool, Mommy.

Ethan wanted me to stick 35 candles in what was left of Adam's pie. I explained this wasn't happening... and we just did one.

Alright. That's all the random I have for today. I'm heading out to do some more editing before I turn in my manuscript Monday!!!

I cannot believe my deadline is almost here.

Then it's on to the next one!! Have a great Thursday! 

   

Thyroid Answers

I've decided that this will be the last post on this blog where I talk about my thyroid. (Other than quick updates or whatever...) mainly because I don't want this blog to turn into a thyroid blog. When I first started losing weight after I had Sam, I started a Weight Loss blog. I quit updating it when I realized I kept having to report I wasn't losing. That was the beginning of this thyroid journey, about, well, almost two years ago. I'm going to revamp that blog to post about losing weight with thyroid issues, The Thyroid Diet and any other related topics I can think of.

For now though, I have to tell you how cool God is.

Tuesday when I gained that pound, it was like the last straw for me. It was clear following Weight Watchers really wasn't working and I was fed up. I now thank God for that pound. It frustrated me so much, I called a new doctor. Not an endocrinologist. A specialist in alternative medicine.

I'd thought about calling her months ago and just didn't--I'm not sure why.

So I called and they got me in two days later. Thursday, May 6th. The day God answered my prayer.

On the way down to the clinic, I prayed "God, I just want some answers." As I walked into the clinic, I prayed "God, I just want some answers."

At this point, I felt CRAZY. I mean, truly, whacked out of my mind crazy. My poor husband was ready to rip his hair out for lack of knowing what to do with me and I don't blame him. But I knew something was NOT RIGHT in my body. Something was very NOT RIGHT. I should add that in February, my endocrinologist diagnosed me with thyroiditis. She then said my thyroid was testing normal and I needed to go home, come back in six months for re-testing. We would wait for it to test abnormal again and then she would give me meds. Meds I would be on for the REST OF MY LIFE.

Is that it? Is that all they can do for me? I am convinced that many of us just accept what we are told because after all, these are medical professionals. When we question or go a different way,we are often made to feel like we've just gotten in trouble in the principal's office. We feel bullied and put down.

Please. Do not let this stop you for searching for answers. You are NOT stupid. If you are being an advocate for a sick child, do not simply accept "he's not allergic to anything" and go on wiping the nose, putting tubes in the ears, giving antibiotics. You are the MOM. You KNOW your child.

Sorry. This has been my experience twice now. I now have a new soapbox.

And. A healthy child:

...who is really, truly too old for that dang pacifier (it's only a bedtime thing now. I've started confiscating it during the day!) 

I told my new doctor my story. I left nothing out. She had my labs from all the testing I've had done over the last year, and in about two seconds of looking at them, she said, "Well, you don't have a thyroid problem. Your issue is autoimmune."

She then went on to explain that my immune system is attacking my thyroid. (ala Hashimoto's thyroiditis.)

I listened, but inside I wanted to cry. Right before my eyes God was answering my prayer. This doctor explained my labs to me in a way I could understand. She explained how my other glands (pituitary, adrenal) came into play and then asked me what other tests I'd had done.

None.

Nothing.

She was surprised. No ultrasound. No saliva test. Nothing. So she ordered them. The ultrasound checks for things ON the thyroid (goiters, cancer, tumors, etc.) The saliva test will check all my other levels (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, cortisol, etc.) The other thing she explained was that autoimmune issues like this can be greatly helped with a different diet, so they are testing to see what it is in my diet that is causing my system to go all wonky.

Step one...get rid of all gluten. My friend Jeannecalled me a few weeks ago and informed me of the gluten/thyroid connection. With the exception of Adam's birthday pizza and a few bites here and there I haven't had gluten in several weeks. Still, when she told me this would be a permanent solution, it was a hard pill to swallow. (I almost cried in the grocery store thinking about how hard this could be...)

This weekend, I had invited my parents up for brunch and I had a whole list of goodies to bake. After the doctor, I quickly switched gears and was so thankful for this blog, which has some amazing gluten free recipes (not to mention, beautiful pictures!)

So, Saturday, I drove all over town looking for alternate, gluten free flours. (And yes, my son is gluten-free, you'd have thought I'd have done this a long time ago...but truly, he has never known anything else. He doesn't mind if his bread weighs ten pounds.)

After a couple of hours and three stores, lots of traffic, getting yelled at by an old man for not wearing a coat and honked at by another guy for texting in my car (at a stop light, for pete's sake) I arrived home with these:

That's a lot of flour, no? I am still on the hunt for almond flour, but I got most everything else I needed. I then crashed because I was exhausted and later found the energy to bake.

I made these:

Thanks to Aran, Sam and I had goodies. Soaked Lemon Poppyseed & Oil cakes. They were delicious! (Sam's had probably four of them in two days! Ok, maybe five. Even Sophia, my picky eater, liked them! I am shooting to get her off gluten...she is a moody little thing...)

My next step: Get off dairy. :( I am most sad about this because of the coffee factor. I've decided I will wait until next week, after my book deadline, to tackle this one. But the only dairy I will have is what's in my coffee cup!

This afternoon is my ultrasound, this weekend is my saliva test and next week I start on the path to wholeness. In correlation with everything I've been learning about food, this is all a lot to digest. But for almost two years, I have known something is not right in my body. And I have prayed for answers. I have BEGGED for answers. I am proof that God does answer...and in the meantime, this whole issue drew me closer to Him.

The other important thing I took away from this is that sometimes you have to get pushy. You know your body better than you think you do. You know when something is wrong. You know when there's an intruder. I am surprised how many aches and shooting pains, how much lethargy, depression, mood swings, exhaustion, etc. I have blown off as "just the way I am..." Now, after studying more about my thyroid I am starting to realize that's just not so. Much of this is related to my hormones, my immune system.

And, if any young people (or people struggling with anorexia) are out there, let me explain to you one of the ways autoimmune issues come on... through crash dieting. Starvation. Please do not do this to your body. It cannot handle it and at some point, it will begin to destroy itself. You do NOT want to ruin the ONE body you have. You need it. Take care of it. Nourish it: body, mind and soul. You are worth it.

Be kind to yourself.

*God Bless you if you've read even half of this long-winded post. I wanted to share this whole story here because I do know there are people who, like me, need answers. Don't give up. You can find them. You are worth it.

House Help & a Spinach Recipe

So, a few days ago, I was perusing home blogs, you know, the kind that make you wish you had things you don't...like decorating talent.

See, Adam made this comment the other day about how our house still doesn't feel like ours...and I agree completely. Maybe moving into a brand new house isn't all it's cracked up to be. (It really isn't... what, with the lawn and the water softener and the touch of "contractor" all over this place, we've spent way more money then we anticipated...) and we still haven't put the deck on! Yeah.

But I am not complaining...just looking for advice.

I've searched for articles about taking a "new" home and turning it into YOURS. I've searched for ways to justify getting rid of brand new items in the home. I've searched for answers on how to obtain the country/cottage style I am coveting in a house that's right off the cookie cutter presses.

I've found nothing.

So, I scour the blogs...and one of my all time favorites is The Lettered Cottage. I know, you probably already know about this blog, but if you don't, I am sure one look will have you bookmarking it.

Layla is super cool and her taste is to die for. Their videos crack me up and I love this blog!

So, I emailed her.

That's her and her husband, Kevin. They do all their home projects together. I told her my dilemma. Maybe what I was really looking for here was courage. Could be. I have been needing a lot of that lately. And in the world of decorating, for some reason, I freeze.

Well, Layla more than delivered. She did a whole blog post: "Easy, Affordable ways to add Characters to a New Home."

For real? Seriously? I couldn't even digest it all in one sitting! Honestly, this is so helpful and so doable...so if you, like me, are in dire need of some help...check out her post! Or her E-book, "Creating an Inspired Home."

I want to add that the reason I thought Layla would understand is that this is what her kitchen looked like when they first bought their house:

Not so unlike mine...

But now...after some TLC...

Yeah. It's that beautiful.

She made some great points though...especially about resale value (which is one thing that has always kept me from tackling any home project...fear that the next person won't like it and if we ever decide to sell, we won't be able to...)

Fear. Such a nasty bugger.

So...I wanted to publicly say "THANK YOU" to Layla Palmer, who has given me much to chew on. I just might have some after photos of my own pretty soon.

Though, I have a feeling they won't be nearly as beautiful as hers!

In other news...

I wanted to share this recipe I got last week in a Weight Watchers booklet. Yes, I am still counting points...but more so as a test of my thyroid than anything. I am reading another Geneen Roth book and hope that it gives me the courage to once and for all say goodbye to dieting...but we'll see...

In the meantime, this Spinach with Tomatoes and Feta came my way the day after I went grocery shopping so I happened to have everything on hand. My organic delivery sometimes gives me things I don't know what to do with (like butternut squash! yikes!) and also, a huge bag of spinach.

I ate a spinach salad, but then, it was just sitting there...staring at me.

So. This recipe came at just the right time. Super easy and you may (like me) already have everything on hand!

Spinach, cherry tomatoes, Feta cheese, garlic, onion and olive oil. Oh, and salt.

How much easier could lunch be? Trust me, if I can do it...well, you know the rest.

So, you get a deep pot. Mine is admittedly a little deeper than it needs to be, but I couldn't find anything else at the moment, so it had to do.

Throw in the oil, then the onions. Once they're brown, you can add the garlic.

I should add that your house will smell incredible at this point, but your fingers will smell like onions and garlic for at least three days.

Now, as you cook, make sure to take a moment to admire the homemade granola on the counter. It is incredible in every way...and gluten free!

Once you've properly admired... you can get back to the spinach...

You add it in, along with some salt (I use kosher salt because I want to taste it...none of this wimpy table salt...) So you throw it in.

It looks like a lot, no?

Well...it wilts...(duh)

It wilts a lot.

Looks like it needs more salt...

I love kosher salt.

So, next, you take these babies...

 
Yum. They are good. Cut 'em in half and throw 'em in...

It already looks yummy.

So, you let that simmer for a couple minutes and then take it all out and add in the Feta...

 
I love that you can click on that picture and see that my cheese hasn't expired. That's rare. Anyway, Crumble it up (about 1/2 cup) and dump it on top...  

Mix it all in...

And enjoy!

This was a delicious lunch. I ate two servings because it's only 2 points for one serving, and while I know I should've added some protein, I find that is much more difficult to get!

Anyway, it is wonderful and I wanted to share it with you because I find lunch is the hardest meal of the day to figure out what to eat!!

Here's the details:

(The recipe suggests using leftovers as omelet filling...I suppose if you like that sort of thing... I'm not a big egg person.)

Per Serving: 2 points
Prep: 10 minutes
Cook: 14 minutes
Serves: 4

• 1 1/2 tsp. olive oil
• 3/4 cup chopped onion
• 2 tsp. minced garlic
• 10 oz. baby leaf spinach
• 1/4 tsp salt (again, use the kosher, it's tastier!)
• 1 cup halved grape tomatoes (I used cherry tomatoes...yum)
• 1/2 cup crumbled Feta cheese

1. Heat oil in large deep pot over medium-high heat.

2. Add onions; cook, stirring often, until light golden and tender, about 7-8 min.

3. Add garlic; cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds

4. Add spinach and salt; cook, tossing, until spinach wilts, about 2-4 minutes.

5. Add tomatoes; cook, stirring, until tomatoes soften, about 1-2 minutes

6. Remove from heat and drain off any extra liquid; stir in Feta. Yields about 3/4 cup per serving

  
 
 

Women, Food & God... a review

A couple of days ago, I noticed a wasp had found its way onto my screen door. I didn't notice it until the door was already shut for the evening, meaning the poor wasp was now trapped. The next morning, I opened the glass door back up thinking the wasp would realize he was free and fly away to safety--back to his life of doing wasp-y type things...but that night, when I closed up again for the evening, I saw that he was still there. It was almost as if he didn't realize he was free.

And that is how I've spent the past thirty-four years of my life.

Living in a glass house, a prison of my own mind--a place in which I believe certain things about myself. A place in which I try to control what other people think of me, do everything in my power to never let anyone down and constantly strive for perfection by way of hugely unrealistic expectations...the kind no one, not even Wonder Woman, could attain.

I've been living in a room with a transparent door--a door that opened to freedom, one that never locked, but one that I failed to see. Just like this wasp. If he just scooted over a tiny bit, he'd find that he could escape, but he doesn't. He stays right where he is...maybe because it's safe there? Maybe because it's what he's come to know? But he doesn't realize that staying where he's at is killing him.

And that is what I've come to realize after reading Women, Food & God by Geneen Roth.

Last week, one of my blog readers mentioned this book to me. I'd never heard of it. When I got an email from another person who read my blog, mentioning the same thing, I thought I'd better check it out. I picked it up the next day and spent Saturday morning and part of Sunday reading it. I finished it in two days--which is a record for this here slow reader! Oprah says she read it in one big gulp--I've decided there is no other way to read this book.

Given that the front cover is pretty unassuming, I didn't know what to expect. I have read everything there is to read about dieting and weight loss. I've tried to pigeon hole my story--one of disordered eating, restriction, failure and success--into the stories of other people, looking for anyone, anywhere that would make me feel normal.

Geneen Roth makes me feel normal. But she also made me realize that just because there's a reason I'm loathing myself or hating a number on the scale, that doesn't mean it's okay.

For years, people have been telling me I just need to love myself. You can't really tell someone with an eating disorder to love themself. They don't think anything is wrong with them that a little weight loss can't fix. You can't tell the wasp to leave the glass house...he has to find the door for himself. But through the pages of this book, I finally discovered that loving and accepting my body doesn't mean I'm waving the white flag of surrender. It doesn't mean I'm going to sit around and eat brownies all day all in the name of acceptance. Quite the contrary. Loving myself and respecting this body mean looking at all its given me--all God's given me through this body--and giving back to it. Taking care of it. Accepting that it's not perfect, but it's mine.

One thing that I have struggled with is feeling like I have a place here on this planet. I noticed it on the Interstate yesterday. I was constantly checking my rear view mirror to make sure I wasn't holding anyone up. If someone came along zipping down the highway doing 80, I made sure to get out of their way. Don't want to slow them down. Don't want them to be upset with the lady in the red Camry.

We spend our lives worrying about everyone else...but I'm starting to think it's true...that I really am the most important person in my life. (Even as I write that, I imagine how it sounds. I imagine how self absorbed you all must think I am for considering that I am the most important person in my life... Is it selfish? Who do I think I am anyway?)

But let me explain.

I believe in being selfless. In loving selflessly. But I also believe that I can't do anyone a bit of good if I don't first take care of myself. My needs. My body. My spirit. Without these things, I am dead. And I've been pushing them aside.

Geneen is not a fan of organized weight loss plans, of diets...they fail you. They set you up to fail. How do you maintain that for the rest of your life? This terrifies me. To imagine that I could decide--based on my own body--what I need to eat and drink without the guidelines and rules I've grown accustomed to? Crazy! I'm still having a hard time letting that go. I assume, like she says in the book, that if left to my own devices I will spiral out of control.

Women, Food & God doesn't look like a self help book, and in my mind, Geneen doesn't look like someone you talk to while laying on a couch:

She looks like someone you'd go shopping with. Tell your dreams to.

For years, people--namely my husband--have been telling me to "love myself." Accept my body. Be happy with who I am, but for so many reasons and in so many ways, that wasn't possible.  After reading this book, I realize, it's because I didn't know who I was--I've been too busy trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be.

Do you know how freeing it is to say "No, I can't do that. It's not good for me. It's not good for my family?" I never used to say "No." In the process, I lost any sense of self that I ever had.

Women, Food and God is broken down into three sections. Principles. Practices. Eating. In a most conversational and easy to read tone, Geneen lays out the foundation--explains why we need to end this war with our body--why it's not about weight--how to view yourself with loveliness. Then she explains, in the same easy to read, easy to understand way, how to go about doing this... and finally, gives you some important lessons about the act of eating itself.

In a word, this book is life-changing. It helped me explore so many of the past hurts I've been carrying. I've spent my adult life looking to other people for happiness, or to come to my defense, not realizing I am an adult now myself. And I can strap on the big girl panties and attack life like a grown up.

It's embarrassing to say you have a food issue. A compulsion. An obsession. It's embarrassing to admit you binge, purge, restrict, obsess. It's embarrassing to think that at this age--the age where you're supposed to have it all together, you're just starting to realize how broken you truly are.

But it's so freeing to discover you don't have to stay in your brokenness.

Here's a clip of Geneen talking a little about the book:

 

For me, this book forced me to think about how I use food as a substitute for God. (And this isn't a Christian book--Geneen has a more new agey approach than I do, but it's so easy to apply it based on your own set of religious/spiritual beliefs...I don't get hung up on labels...) I don't allow myself to feel anything if I'm constantly turning to or controlling food. I don't allow God to have any part of my emotional journey if I'm not going to him with my hurts, questions, fears, etc.

It's huge, the magnitude of this journey.

And it's about more--so much more--than food and how it functions in my life. Thanks to this book, I now feel like someone took a can of spray paint and shot it all over the glass door, showing me the handle, giving me the key... the funny thing is, it was there all along.

I am really still processing this book, so I don't even think this is a coherent explanation of all that I learned through it, but I truly, truly believe if you struggle in any way with emotional eating, eating disorders, your relationship with food...this book will challenge you, open your eyes and help you discover that there is a better way.

...and it's been there all along.

Let's Talk Diets...

I'll try to keep this post quick and to the point. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands... perhaps sitting in the arm chair for 2.5 days straight is starting to get to me. Possible.

But I am downright confused.

Something inside tells me "just pick one and go with it..." but when it comes to diets, who in the world knows what really works? Every website or resource I've visited says something different! What on earth is a person supposed to do?

Here's the skinny on my weight loss. In a nutshell.

I had my third baby and everything went downhill. This is when my back problems started. This is when my headaches and neck pain started. That kid wrecked my body, God love him. So, I figured I'd try Weight Watchers again. It worked after I had Baby #2.

Didn't work this time. And yes, I actually followed the plan. And saved up some bonus points. And exercised.

Next, after discovering a more holistic/natural/organic approach to food intake, I decided to try counting calories while killing myself at the gym 4-5 times per week. Each class was about an hour and a half long. It was hard. I was sweaty. I loved it.

I did it for the entire summer like that. Weekly. Tracking calories.

I lost zero pounds in three months.

Yeah. Fun stuff.

So, I had my thyroid tested. Overactive. It made no sense. I should've been dropping weight!

Recently, I've been back on the roller coaster of loss and then gain and now, I'm feeling bloated and just completely frustrated by the immense number of choices out there as far as weight loss goes.

I had my thyroid re-tested and was told it's looking like Thyroiditis. That means it vaccilates between hyper and hypo thyroidism. Fun stuff.

Does this mean I can't lose weight even if I try? My doctor told me basically to just wait till it swings back to the abnormal range so they can give me medicine (which I will then be on for the rest of my life.)

So, in my quest to find something that is easy to follow and will actually work I've considered the following:

Weight Watchers. (Should I give it another shot? It did work at one time...)

Form You Three. I ran into someone who is doing this. She also has thyroid issues. Is it worth it? No idea. I want to shop for my food in the store, though...I don't want to buy someone else's food line (like Jenny Craig)...

 
Jillian Michaels kick-your-butt and demand results program for weight loss.

(I have this book. I pretty much do everything it says and so far, I'm not mastering my metabolism. Getting it out to re-read it today...)

Going back to the gym (which is admittedly kind of dumb considering I have an elliptical and free weights here in my house...)

The sit on my couch all day and wave the white flag of surrender diet plan.

HCG (I half considered this. It's all natural, but you have to inject yourself...uh....)

Really, really don't think I can stick needles in myself. Plus, this hormone is actually the one your body produces when you're pregnant. I don't know about you, but I didn't like the way I felt when I was pregnant. I certainly don't think it'd be wise for me to do that to myself on purpose.

 The Kind Diet.

I seriously think I could do the vegetarian thing, but giving up all animal products? (this completely contradicts Jillian, by the way...) I don't know if I can do it... I hardly ever eat eggs... but I love my yogurt... and that's dairy, so that'd be out... I don't know. I'm also told a vegan diet can make you really depressed. I don't need any more reasons to be depressed, thankyouverymuch. Still, it intrigues me. People who do it are really passionate about it and its benefits. I think it may be a little over the top for me, but what if the problem isn't how much food I'm eating but actually what I'm eating? hmmmm.

Back to the Endocrinologist to ask for additional testing to be done? I don't know if this is wise...

Overeater's Anonymous?

Maybe this is still all related to my eating disorders and I've fooled myself into thinking it's not? No idea. The thought makes me feel completely mental.

I've also considered eating nothing but fruits and vegetables for a few weeks and then gradually adding foods back in and seeing how I feel. Given Sam's allergies, it IS possible I've got some sensitivities of my own that I'm not even aware of...?

Now. Every one of these plans tells me to do at least one or two things differently than every other one. I know it's about calories in, calories out...but when you are tracking it all and burning good calories weekly and still not losing, where do you turn?

It's interesting, I ran across a thyroid website and discovered I am not alone in my frustration. So many other people struggle with this... they are told they obviously are eating too much or aren't exercising enough...because people who don't have the problems associated with hormonal imbalance don't understand. They assume it's the person's fault they aren't losing.

I have no idea why I'm even putting all this out there. I guess because I'm realizing that something too many choices is NOT a good thing. I have no idea what to do next. What's my next step? How do I stop being the person who gives up sugar for three weeks and still manages to gain weight?

Anyone know? Any theories? I would love some insight.

Perhaps I have way too much time on my hands with this darn back injury...but there has to be an answer. Doesn't there?

A Review of Pure Via

It's no secret that I love my coffee.

I love it enough to photograph it and then make the photo prettier and enlarge it and print it and hang it on my wall. (That's my plan with this photo.)

Maybe I'll make it uber-spiritual and include a verse so it's clear that I am NOT worshipping the coffee. Important to keep telling myself that.

Anyway, a few weeks ago in this post, I told you about my juicer. I should really name that thing. I could write poetry in its honor. If I'm gonna write poetry about it though I better name it something like FRED so there's lots of rhyming options. Be a shame to name the l'il guy Ebenezer or something.

Bunny trail. Off I go again.

The point. Is that this very nice person from PureVia sent me an email. She'd read on my blog that I use TruVia and wondered if I'd be open to trying out a sample of PureVia and reviewing it on my blog. Ever the happy mail lover, I agreed and a few days later this came:

*Notice my bananas in the background are still totally good. Not all gooshy and black like those other ones I told you about.

So, I was hugely excited about the insulated coffee cup (fewer trips to Starbucks, friends! And yes... I DO need fewer trips:)

*Incidentally after last week, when I received two bad cups of joe, I kind of lost the taste for it. I haven't been back in several days. I'm onto something new here. It's so freeing.

I should start by saying normally I use Stevia:

I only used Truvia because they were out that day. I recently bought another bag of Stevia and then my PureVia came in the mail.  

I have to say, I think I like the PureVia better. The Stevia in the raw is really powdery and doesn't dissolve quite as easily. PureVia has more of a sugar-texture and it tastes really good. I have loved my coffee since I started using it.

I put three packets in;

And it does the job for this mongo cup of coffee I drink every morning. It looks like this:

which you can't really tell from the photo, but it's nice and sugar. It doesn't fluff into powder and get in my nose when I pour it in. I like that.

This is to show you how big my mug really is. I'm not ashamed. Go ahead and judge.

Anyway, the bottom line is, I like it and I'll definitely buy it again. I can't stand Splenda or Equal or Sweet and Lo. nothing like putting more chemicals into your already chemical laden food... but these natural options are really better tasting and better for you.

Some facts about PureVia from their website...

• Their packaging is Eco-friendly. Gotta love that.
• it contains only natural ingredients.
• It's gluten-free and can be used by diabetics.  

I read the FAQ's because I was concerned about the other ingredients listed on the back of the box. According to the website, all of these (there are only, like, three) ingredients are natural. Not chemically processed.

The best part is...no bitter aftertaste.

Gotta love it.

So, if you're looking for a yummy new, no-cal sweetener, this is the one! :)

It's been in three grocery stores I've checked so far, so I'm thinking it's pretty readily available!

Drink that coffee, friends!

happy wednesday!

 
  

Gluten free...quick and easy

One of the most annoying things about having to prepare gluten-free food is the fact that when you're talking about a wheat-intolerant toddler, you have to be prepared for anything. All the typical "quick foods" are out the window. There are no goldfish. No graham crackers.  So, I'm always on the hunt for quick and easy meals, lunches and snacks that Sam can eat.

A couple weeks ago I discovered these:

Sam is a rice fan, so I snatched a couple off the shelf and brought them home. I had LOW expectations for Annie Chun's Sprouted Brown Rice, I admit. Because...have you ever tried the microwavable Uncle Ben's? It's disgusting. I mean, spit it back into the bowl gross.

But these are surprisingly GOOD. I added a little soy sauce to mine...oh wait, I bought these for Sam, didn't I? Whoops. They are good for those of us who are trying to eat clean and healthy. (Especially those who don't cave in to the Peppermint Mocha Creamer.)

Best part? Ready in ONE minute. Ridiculous.

If you have a little more time on your hand, I recommend this:

 
It takes about a half an hour to make it, but seriously it's good. Sam LOVES his "toe-toe."

I also routinely eat this. Sometimes I put meat in it and it's a whole meal. 

Ok. You're right. This doesn't look very appetizing, does it? I promise you, it is. Be great with chicken too!

Ok, I said quick and easy... and when I saw these, I thought...hmmm...why not?

Their current rival:

which I haven't tried yet...

The first chip tastes a LOT like Tostitos (which Sam can have) so I'm not sure I'd spend the money on the rice chip... if it tasted like a Trader Joe's pita chip, then we'd have some trouble turning it down.

Anyway... we're working on it. This gluten free living. I gave up bread for about four weeks. Well, sugar and white flour of all kinds. I had one slip-up with the banana cake (seriously? who can resist?) but otherwise, I did great. Skin cleared up. and I GAINED three pounds.

Yeah. My thyroid is a post for another (less depressing) day!  At least I have test results and a plan now!

Anyway. I have a thousand and twelve things to do so I'm off.

Have a great Tuesday...what's left of it! :)
   

Sometimes I juice.

Not THAT kind of juice, Jose Canseco. Geesh.

A few months ago, I borrowed a juicer from a friend so I could do a juice fast for three days. There are a lot of reasons to do a juice fast, but for me, it was mostly about detox. I did three days with nothing but organic juice and I loved it so much that by the end of the week, I went out and got my own juicer.

People ask if it's worth it because you do need quite a bit of fruit to make the juice, and I don't know how to respond. For me, yes. It is absolutely worth it. Now, I use my juicer at least once a week, my kids love to make their own juice and if there's any fruit that's a little too mushy to eat (mushy apples are the worst!) I can throw them in the juicer instead of throwing them in the garbage.

When I first got started, I took all of this... 

 and got a couple cups of this...
  

and I even got my pickiest one to drink the equivalent of all that fruit.

it's a little frothy on the top and sometimes you have to stir it up...
but overall, juice puts smiles on all of our faces. :) Our favorites are orange/strawberry (with one packet of Truvia), orange/pineapple (ohmygosh! SOOO good) and apple/pear (for the boys). Throw in a carrot to apple/orange and you've got some great veggies too.

If you don't have a juicer...I highly recommend it. Talk about nourishment.

Now, if only I could figure out a way to juice these:

Seriously. Who keeps bananas on their counter when they look like that?

I'm GREAT in the kitchen, can ya tell? :)

Happy Monday!
  

Courtney in the Kitchen

Such a travesty, really, how bad I am.

Don't believe me?

Proof:

Some people just shouldn't be allowed near a stove. 

Lazy Days at Home & a yummy black bean dip recipe

We like our Saturdays.

We sleep in. (till 7:30!) We cook breakfast. (Lego my Eggo!) We hang out in our comfies.

Basically that part is the same for me as every other day, but the kids love it.

My kids can often be seen in the living room like this:

Sophia with a book in her face. Sam with a blanket over his face. Ethan with a confused look on his face.

Three faces I love.

Two fake smiles and a bookworm.

The kids have a way of destroying the house in a matter of seconds. They pull all the pillows off the couches and all the blankets from the basket (where I'm sure they were neatly folded the night before...) and they camp out.

And it's cozy. And homey. And it reminds me that while I want  to force my decor into cozy, homey-ness, it's really these guys who make it so. And I guess I'm going to be okay with that because decorating is a long process for me. I can't make quick decisions. Or any decisions, if I'm honest.

Sophia spends much of the weekend in this position.

from the floor, to the couch, to the chair to the bathroom, the book goes along with her. I love this about her. She is the reason I want a library/reading room in our home.

The boys never cease to amaze me with where and how they end up hanging out.

Here they are in the space between the couch and the table. I swear they stayed there for one entire day. Playing DSi and Leapster. Reading. watching movies. Hanging out. Being brothers. They are the reason I want a padded room in our home.

Then of course there's MY spot...

Right in the middle of the action, but if I'm not careful and leave it unattended, it WILL be overtaken by rugrats and monkeys. Can't you tell by the look on his face he thinks he's pretty funny?

"Ha, ha, I took your seat!"

I write here. It's hurting my neck. I need to find a different spot in the house that's equally as warm. IN the fireplace is probably out of the question, no?

Anyway. Weekends are best when they are lazy and lovely. Or at least I think they are.

I really enjoyed my interview with my friend and mentor Chris Wave. She opened up my eyes to so many different aspects of eating and self-nourishment, I wanted to share it with you. She did try to answer the questions, but it didn't show up in the comments, so I'm going to find a way to get them from her and re-post them. :) I'm sure they're good!

This week, I'm interviewing a novelist with over 20 published works of fiction. You won't want to miss that! She's inspiring!

Finally, a recipe.

I have to admit, in case you didn't already know, I am a terrible cook. In fact, I hate cooking. I've always thought they should do a reality tv show about bad cooks, and then, lo and behold, this year they came out with one... I should be a contestant.

But my cousin sent me a recipe for this black bean dip and I've posted it before I think, but it's worth repeating. Some days, I will eat this with organic blue corn tortilla chips for lunch and it's so healthy and filling and yummy!

Super easy "Dump" recipe:

All you need is:

- 1 can of organic black beans (drain the juice) 
- 1 can of organic corn or Mexi-corn
- Green onions (chop 'em up) 
- tomatoes (chop those up too)
- Cilantro if you like it. I personally like it better without, but that's just me.
- Salt & Pepper

I use this kind of salt:

Celtic sea salt. yes, I crush it all up to make it finer, but it is really good for you and goes a long way. Kosher salt is great too.Yum. I am a salt girl.

You dump everything together (I end up salting this like crazy, I admit...) and scoop it out with whatever kind of organic chip you want.

I LOVE this stuff. I never thought I would like black beans so much, but if I ate this three times a week it wouldn't be too much. Great way to get some good veggies without having to eat ANOTHER salad.

Anyway, I hope you had a lazy, lovely weekend!

I wish I had a really interesting question to post so I could read your fun comments, but I don't! Ack! though I would love to hear about your idea of a perfect weekend since mine is so, you know, BOR-ING.

Happy Monday!  
  
 

Inspiring Interview: Naturopath Chris Wave; Part Two & a Recipe for Ratatouille

Today, I continue my chat with Chris Wave, a natural health guru who I consider a mentor and friend. Often, we have to be in the right frame of mind to hear that the way we eat is pretty messed up, but I hope you'll take time to go back and look over the wisdom and inspiration in her words from yesterday.

 

I do feel strongly about it because it's really helped me with Sam, my gluten-wheat-yeast and milk intolerant son.

 

Now...on with the show...

 

 

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your doggone life, what would you choose?

I am a dairy freak. I drink raw milk with 4 inches of cream on top.

At what age can we stop striving for perfection?

FIRST! throw out the magazines! I think there is so much emotional imprisonment attached to those sickly, starving images...it is hard to get free while longing to be that androgynous figure every day.

One day it ceases to be striving. I can't say when this happens but somewhere along the way, you begin to love yourself enough to feed yourself right. The thought of eating a Hershey bar becomes repulsive. It stops tasting right. It tastes like wax to me today and this candy bar was something I ate every single day for at least 15 years. There is no trying anymore. I don't really want a cupcake or Pepsi (of this I drank a case every couple of days). I can' say I crave a carrot but I eat it telling myself I can have anything I want after I eat that carrot. After I eat it I don't want the bad thing anymore.

What’s your favorite book? Movie?

My favorites change like me..like the wind. Not surprisingly I love food books and movies. Like Water for Chocolate, (the book, not the movie) was sensational tale showing how emotions are intertwined in our food. It made me hungry and want to cook though so don't read it at midnight. My favorite movie was Babette's Feast. An all-time great movie about how we demonize our food, and live poor, mean lives trapped in false piety. Babette gives all she has to create one magnificent feast for the religious sisters she cooks for. This is a soul movie with so many layers of understanding it has to be watched prayerfully and many times to get it all.

What do you do to relax?

This is a hard issue for me, given that I have 22 more careers to make happen. I read. I love to read. I have stacks and stacks of books around the house. I don't want jewelry, vacations, or new anything. I don't really care much about any accouterment of life except good food and books.

Can you share some artsy things with us? How important is art/creativity to you? What do you do to nurture that side of you?

Creative life is so important to me that I become mean and weird if I am not creating. When my children were young I had the perfect escape in my job as a flight attendant. I had a hotel once a month. I would drag a light weight sewing machine to Europe and sew up something wonderful or at least get it started! I had a tiny watercolor set that I kept in my purse at all times and would paint on the fly. I knitted, I baked, I cooked, I grew flowers; all art. I gave up housekeeping to write or draw or paint. Fortunately I have a husband who thinks our house is clean all the time no matter how very base it gets! I have to be starting a new business or learning something all the time. I hunger for that kind of creative existence. In the style of Winston Churchill, I read a poem every day. I re-read Billy Collins yearly!

Do you have any hidden talents?

No. I could use a little mystery. I am an open book. I try everything. Some things I do well. Some things I do because I love to do them but we would not call it talent; like singing. I probably shouldn't sing but I love to sing.

What’s your favorite job that you’ve ever had?

I loved being a flight attendant. I never once didn't want to go on a trip unless my kids were sick. My co-workers were the most inspiring, fascinating men and women I've ever met to this day; always into something. For twenty years I loved to travel. I'm a bit sick of it today which is hard because my children so long to keep the airways hot with travel.

Least favorite?

I had a real icky job working for Martin Brower a company with the nicest people but all I did was sit and pour over computer printouts ordering "foam" for McDonald's. Foam was the critical item to keep in the restaurants. The pressure over this dumb product left me lifeless and depressed after the first hour I worked there. I worked two days, called in sick the last three and never went back. It was so bad it propelled me back into nursing school.

What’s the hardest thing about parenting? What’s the most rewarding?

Hands down it was trusting myself. I spent 20 years second guessing myself. Mothers know intuitively. We don't have to square that with the world! The most rewarding aspect of parenting is to see them as adults, making excellent decisions, being true to themselves, taking care of themselves.

How do you nourish yourself?

I am really good at this since I get mean and snarky if I don't. I escape. I sometimes just go away overnight by myself. I have always done this. In our family of travelers this is not unusual. My kids have always only had one parent at home. Sometimes they didn't even realize I was gone for a day or so! If I can't go away, I like to go for a long walk, or visit an art museum.

Describe yourself in three words.

Creative, driven, curious.

Now, a recipe...

ala my cooking hero, Chris Wave. 

Have you ever made Ratatouille? I know you've heard of it thanks to this guy...

 

I've never made it... But after reading Chris' recipe... I think I might try!

Ok here it is. The secret is out. This Ratatouille has made me famous- amos. We did a whole dinner for some French people and they came back with more French people. It is a summer menu really but I confess I make it all year round even with winter veggies (which is incorrect). Fussy cooks will want exact amounts. There are none. This is an art dish that requires good faith.

 

Ratatouille (ala my cooking hero, MFK Fisher)

 

Cut up some red peppers, an eggplant or two, tomatoes, onion, yellow squash if you'd like.

 

Layer the veggies in a deep earthen crock or casserole dish. (Red pepper layer, onion layer, eggplant layer...etc.) With each layer you put in a few generous glugs of good olive oil and a small handful of Celtic sea salt.

 

Next layer; same thing until you are as deep as you want.

 

Cover the pot and put in the oven and cook all day if you like. The vegetables should not be crispy. They should all meld into one gorgeous dish.

 

Everything is sliced, cubed, chopped, minced, and, except for the tomatoes, is put into the pot...thrown in, that is, for the rough treatment pushes down the mass. At the end, when there is less than no room, the tomatoes are cubed or sliced generously across the top, and the lid is pressed down ruthlessly. When it is taken off, a generous amount of olive oil must be trickled over the whole to seep down. Then the lid is put on again. It may not quite fit, but it will soon drop into place.

The whole mess goes into a gentle (300 degree) oven for about as long as one wishes to leave it there, like five or six hours. It should be stirred up from the bottom with a long spoon every couple of hours. It will be very soupy for a time, and then is when it makes a delicious nourishing meal served generously over slices of toasted french bread with plenty of grated dry cheese. Gradually it becomes more solid, as the air fills with the rich waftings which make neighbors sniff and smile.

Inspiring Interview: Naturopath Chris Wave

 

I mentioned yesterday that these interviews are going to inspire you in all different areas of your life. Since my word of the year is NOURISH, I felt it fitting to kick off my interviews by talking with a naturopath, who also happens to be my friend, my mentor and a woman who has taught me an awful lot about this little thing called life.

 

So, without further ado, let me introduce you to Chris Wave:

 
That's Chris alongside her hunk-a-hunk-a burnin' love, Keith. He's a pilot. Like a real pilot. He flies big old jets. if that doesn't warrant some respect right off the bat, I don't know what does.  

 

What is your title?

Wife, mom, grandma (Nanie), cook, artist, entrepreneur, author/writer, Naturopath, RN, Flight attendant, recently added: business advisor for start-up entrepreneurs, real estate tycoon, gardener, cafe owner, ...you name it, I've tried it. I subscribe to Leo Busgalia's premise (paraphrased): happy is the person who loves many things. Genius comes from focusing on one thing but geniuses are often very unhappy people. If that doesn't explain me away, I say, I am a Renaissance Girl. I have 22 more careers I need to engage in before I go home to glory. So I have to keep busy.

 

(L-R) Future son-in-law, Josh, Daughter, Lauren with Granddaughter Mia, Daughter, Elyse, Son, Greg, Keith & Chris. 

How did you go from practicing traditional medicine to practicing natural medicine?

I like to say now I practice natural health. My goal is to never take medicine or give it to my family. I spent 14 years in the modern medical system; having worked in a few premium Chicago and suburban hospitals. When I was in nursing school, we were shown a movie on a child with autism and told, "you will probably not see this in the duration of your career so we are showing you a movie of what autism looks like." today, we are one-in-three children who develop autism. Autism in the late 70's was still something a child was born with.  

As student nurses and even into the early 80's as a staff nurse, we didn't generally follow up on any woman under the age of 50 with a breast lump. Those anomalies were never a cancer issue in those days.

From that front row seat I watched the health of our nation decline as if in free-fall over the next decade and a half. With the birth of my first child; a chronic ear infection kid, I realized I had become what we secretly in the profession called a GOMER (get-out of-my-emergency-room). Too many visits with an "unsolvable problem." I resolved to find another way and over the last 22 years that has evolved into a practice of natural health.

 

How can a person who is interested in learning more about natural health and organic foods begin? Where should they start?

I really believe if a person "prays, sits and listens" the path appears. Notice when you feel a little hitch in your gut. For example: I feel like this constant running to the pediatrician is not the path I want to take...I feel like I should not be taking so much antibiotic...something is bugging me about taking an antidepressant...I wish I didn't drink so much diet soda. Start there. What is bugging you? I really believe we have a God-given sense of what is right and wrong, what nourishes life and what is killing life.

 

A naturopathic person is a good place to start if you are clueless and have lost your intuition (which often happens in our state of un-wellness. We no longer hear the still small voice). But a naturopathic doctor has a different goal than most people are used to if coming from the gridlock of modern medicine. Naturopaths know that there is no pill or potion that can overcome a bad diet. So natural health is a choice for the long haul and it takes a ton of discipline to re-orient your palate. When food is your medicine it is a slower process than pill-taking. Cooking is harder that doing the drive-up window. Often I hear, "I can't afford it." Whole foods, even organic whole foods are cheaper than processed foods. If a client of mine really commits, really changes the family diet, they end up saving money.

What are some very simple changes we can make this month that will improve our bodies and our quality of life?

I have a list of ten free things to improve your health immediately. Three of these will, overnight improve your outlook, health and wellness.

1. Breathe! Most of our breathing is very shallow and done improperly. Go outside everyday. No matter how cold! No matter the rain! Breathe with deep inhales and slow exhales to start. This is a great Candida fighter which I find most people now have in overgrowth. Candida hates oxygen.

2. Drink water! your body craves good water. Much of our overeating is our body's attempt to get moisture. It is actually water we are craving. Divide your weight in half and drink that in ounces every day.

 

3. Stop drinking with your meals. Your stomach wants a pH of 2.0. A very acid environment to break down your food. In this proper pH environment e.coli is killed off, salmonella is rendered harmless. Drinking with your meal raises your pH to an alkaline state which does not kill of these harmful organisms and does not aid in the breakdown of food.

What are some examples of things that have grown widely accepted that are actually very detrimental to our health?

Oh this is a bad question for me. I might have to rant!  I am seeing the most damage done by those who follow the food pyramid; The Standard American Diet (SAD) which promotes liberal use of grains (which are a day-long story in themselves!) and low fat.

This diet is completely lacking in healthy fats and is wildly out of balance with nature. Infertility is rampant, autism (which I believe and have witnessed as being totally curable), heart disease has increased despite our vast knowledge, cancer rates sky-rocketed in the last 20 years. When I was a child growing up in a large city, I knew one child in 18 years to develop cancer. Our children are depressed, sick, foggy-headed...don’t get me started. I love my Saturday classes because I can rant unchecked! (Chris offers natural health classes at Fraiche Café in Winnebago, Illinois)

In what ways do you think young(ish) women can nourish themselves? Do you often see women abusing their bodies?

I wish young moms and young women would throw out all the magazines to start. Those are not normal women you are looking at. I would stake my life on this fact, that every one of the magazine models is literally starving. Your body, when you ingest something unnatural; diet pop, Jolly Ranchers, a sugary Latte says, " Oh no, what is this? It's foreign. I don't recognize it." SO in the wisdom of our Creator, the body was designed to isolate that foreigner by imprisoning it into a fat cell. When you then try to lose weight the body refuses to let go of that fat cell because it knows inside there is a harmful toxin. If you dumped it too quickly you would get sick. This is a detox reaction. Stubborn weight is body wisdom. By eating an organic apple instead of drinking a Latte you will slowly release those toxins. Patience is called for to exact lasting change!

What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were in your 30’s?

Oh so many things; That I didn't have to have PMS, acne, anger issues, bloating... That soy is not a health food! I fed my family tofu, soy drinks, soy soy soy soy. Soy is big business. Not health business. Soy has a high concentration of phytates. These substances are found in grains as well. They bind to minerals and don't allow absorption.  Soy robs you of nutrition. I am still working to undo the damage I did to my family with all the soy.

What are the most important vitamins and how can we get them?

All the vitamins are important, in the proper ratio. Taking A without D can cause problems. Quality food will give you much in the way of enzymes, vitamins, minerals. Sadly, due to our farming practices today, our soils are almost devoid of nutrients. I used to say eat right and you don't need to supplement. I have had to retract that statement. When supplementing it is important to be an awake consumer. Cheap vitamins are not good and good vitamins are not cheap. Look first for a supplement that doesn't use cyanocobalamin in it. This is a cheap form of B12 using cyanide which your body must detox. If a company is willing to go cheap here, it calls everything into question. 

Tell me a little about the food we find in the grocery store

I have only one recommendation here. Watch the movie FOOD, inc. Amazon has it on download for .99 right now. Then call me for sources of good food. I rarely go to the grocery store anymore. (*Interjecting to say Food, Inc. is nominated for an Oscar this year. One worth checking out!)

 

What about fast food?

AAAAAggghhhhh! Watch FOOD, inc! Or read Fast Food Nation

 

If you had a serious sweet tooth, what would you eat?

I use Stevia, honey, molasses and pure maple syrup. I don't get cravings for sugar anymore. This used to be such a bad problem with me that I would consume a whole jar of Mrs. Richardson's chocolate fudge sauce or a can of sweetened condensed milk. Can you imagine? I was the worst! The poster child for hideous diet.

How can a young mom with work and kids and house and husband possibly hope to find time to nourish herself? What advice can you give her?

The transition is hard. We are so used to grabbing a pop tart or putting chips in with a sandwich. We have to change the way we think about meals and cooking. There really is no way around it. Some use one day a week to make enough to have a base all week to add to. I really believe starting as soon as you get up thinking about dinner is the key. I put the crock pot on with just beef bones in it sometimes, not having any idea what to make later. The smell will jazz me up enough to finish a soup off at 5 pm.

I think when a mom starts to feel better she has a little more energy to think and prepare. We are a sick nation and we have been so long this way that we don't even know what feeling good is anymore. I know when I am "off my feed" as my farmer uncle used to say, I can't think of one thing to make for dinner. I only want to lay on the couch.

We need to shake it up and that is hard to do if we don't' have energy.

Energy gives birth to inspiration.

Breakfast for instance. Eggs are great but we get sick of eggs every morning. I was recently at a Weston Price conference and they served a rich homemade beef broth with every breakfast. It was so good, so warming and we found we were not a bit hungry, didn't even want coffee or tea. We weren't dragging like most conferences we attend. I have started to heat broth in the morning when I have it. I made brussel sprouts yesterday, ha ha. That didn't go over well! But they will have a little broth.

Still, after all these years my son will come home, open a refrigerator full of apples, home-made yogurt, celery, good cheese.. and say, "We never have anything to eat." Real food is easier after you get used to it. And so much cheaper. I had to change my thinking on food and make it art so I didn't resent cooking and preparing. After years of changing this thinking pattern I can tell you I love cooking. I look forward to it every day.

I started by making a plate for my kids and have it on the counter when they came home from school. If I didn't have anything they would open the cabinet and complain about how they can eat dried beans ya ya ya. I cut up fruits and vegetables and while they are eating that, I pop organic popcorn for them in coconut oil with tons of butter poured on top (butter is a healthy fat!). Or I might put a mild hummus on pita chips. If they get the carb first they won’t eat the fresh veggie. If the fruit and veg tray is all they see they gobble it up! I lie and use tricks. I am a mother with a mission. "Eat this raisin and you can have a piece of chocolate (not a candy bar but a piece of chocolate the size of a quarter).

My two-year old granddaughter actually ASKS for cod liver oil so she can get that little piece of chocolate every day. It can be done. It takes firm resolve to nourish your family. To seek their greater good. I don't keep non-foods in the house other than bribe food. No chips, no pop, no juice boxes, no snacks. I keep real food.

Use ear plugs. They'll get over it eventually if you don't give in. When you see the drop in doctor bills, grocery bills, it will spur you on.

How can I get my kids to eat/drink healthy? What about my bread-addicted husband?

Husbands are another matter. Adults have to be enlightened. I do think that healthy food has been so poorly prepared for so long most husbands rebel for good reason. Real food can taste good with a little bit of effort.

The bread-addicted among us. This is usually a candida issue gone-wild. Candida is a tenacious yeast/fungus that will cause a person to crave what it needs to survive to the exclusion of good food. Carbohydrates like breads, pastries, candy, break down into simple, non-nutritive sugars quickly and feed the candida, Candida wants to live. If you start starving the organism by eating food the way God made it, candida will rebel and howel all the more for its food; white flour and sugar. It takes some discipline to force your palate into a new direction. When I was breaking my sugar addiction the thought of fruit or vegetable was repulsive to me. I had to literally gag it down for weeks. 

 

Tomorrow I will post the FUN questions I asked Chris, which I think are equally as enlightening.

 

Have questions for Chris? I'm betting she'll answer. Post them in the comments section and let's talk about natural health!

 

ETA: Come back tomorrow for a very healthy, very EASY recipe any cook (even me!) can make! :)

Random things I love

I love a little bit of random. So, here's a random list of things I'm loving right now.

Cinnamon Raisin Ezekiel Bread

It's a big part of my new, nourishing eating regimen. Notice I didn't say "diet". I don't think I will ever use that word again. I have finally figured out that when your eating is connected to some sort of emotion, you have to tune into the emotion in order to treat the problem. And part of the solution is to have a pretty clear idea of how to eat.

For me, that means no white bread/processed flour, etc. Enter Cinnamon Raisin Ezekiel Bread. This stuff is so good. It's made from sprouted grains. I haven't tried the other flavors yet, but I plan to. I have two slices of this everday. In fact, I'm eating some right now. If you want more info about it, the Food for Life Website is a great place to start!

 
My college friend Jessica started a BLOG! Jessica was the friend in college who taught me it was okay to dream REALLY. BIG. DREAMS. I will always love her for that. I remember walking into my Com 101 class with Dr. Kasch -- it was a big lecture hall class, and I just wanted to sit down. (Because you know, everyone was watching me enter. I swear, I am so self conscious!) Anyway, I found an empty seat on an end and asked the girl sitting there if it was saved. She said no, and I sat down. Instantly, I noticed her handwriting. I am going to ask her to post a sample. It's so cool. It needs to be a font. (Even then I was obsessed!) But she was reading a Vanity Fair or something and began to tell me how she was going to work in TV. She was from LA. She wanted to work on the David Letterman show. In New York. I think I had stars in my eyes.

I said, "You're really going to do that?"

She said, "Why not? Somebody has to." (or something to that effect.)

Major revelation. Why not? Somebody has to! Why can't it be me?

Her blog won't be about television though because after working on The Tonight Show and for one of the networks, she started her family. I respect her so much for deciding to focus on them. Her blog is full of pretty things. Decorating things. Dreamy things. Martha-esque things. You will like it. :)

oh, and you'll also find a little bit of this:

I can't think of a better person to have my morning coffee with.

Also loving painting right now too...

This is the first painting I've done that's a little bit personal. I can't go into all the details, but I have learned that art can be a kind of therapy. And that alone makes me want to keep doing it. (By the way, those yellow circles are flowers, you just can't see the stems in the photo!)

Loving white. I am wanting to add white everywhere. Since I'm not okay with painting new cabinets yet, I've decided to bring it in in other ways. Like these:

I'm thinking about painting my kitchen some shade of green so then they'll really pop when I put them up here:

I think the rendering of me in that photo is really realistic.

Loving watching my boys together:

Ethan was home one day last week with a bad cold and headache and Sam was a little out of sorts by it. It's usually just he and I during the day. So I did have to break up a fight or two (almost always instigated by Sam)... but then they finally settled into this...

 

Yeah, I'm watching TV with my big brother.

You smiling, Ethan?

 
 Yeah, I'm smiling too.

 Also loving Archway's Pumpkin Pie Spice Coffee

Pretend that label says "Pumpkin Pie Spice" on it. I couldn't find a photo of it and I'm really just too lazy to walk in the other room and take one. I've got a sort of love/hate relationship going with coffee. Instead of quitting altogther, I'm just cutting way (and I do mean WAY) back.

Have mostly given up sugar.

...which has been tricky. I am not "fasting" sugar like I've done before. I'm actually just not going to eat it anymore. A taste here and there is one thing, but if I want to really change my life, I feel like I need to keep it mostly at the bare minimum. We had a meeting here last night which resulted in half of a homemade chocolate cake being left behind. I had a half of a piece of the cake (and a bite of Adam's key lime pie) so I know it's good.

But I think what's been so liberating is knowing the I don't need the cake. Not like "Oh, I need that like I need a hole in my head" I don't mean it that way. of course, none of our hips need cake. But I don't HAVE to eat it. It has no control over me.

Sounds pretty deep since we're talking about cake, no?

If you have food issues, I think you'll understand what I mean.

It's pretty freeing. And I like it.

My friend Robin in Haiti updated her blog. She's still in Haiti. I still don't think any of this is real. In spite of the smell of dead bodies and the loss of physical items. She's such an amazing person. I don't think I could ever be so strong.

Anyway, last thing...

I'm also loving my upcoming BLOG SERIES which I will tell you more about tomorrow. If you like to be inspired and you like to learn about people, you will like this! I think it's going to be a ton of fun! :)  I hope you'll check back and leave comments once I start it!

Have a great Wednesday!
 

On Disordered Eating.

I promise I haven't gone all wonky on you and I won't stay heavy and melancholy...but this post isn't uplifting or fun, so if you need something fun, I just want to suggest you to look elsewhere... consider yourself warned.

I’ve always considered myself a pretty transparent person. I don’t really keep things to myself if I’ve done things that are wrong or stupid or embarrassing. I’ll tell you all my faults (I have many lists) and I’m the first to admit I’m not perfect.  

In my first book, I included a layout I did about my eating disorder—something I dealt with for seven years. I was very matter-of-fact when I created that layout. I had no emotional attachment to it. It just was the way it was.

 

It's not my favorite layout of all time for many reasons, but it goes to show you that I truly believed I had overcome this little issue.  

So, imagine my surprise when, just a couple of weeks ago, in a conversation with a very wise person, I came to the realization that my eating is still disordered.

No, I don’t throw up anymore. No, I don’t starve myself anymore. But I am not normal when it comes to food. Instead of being on a binge/purge cycle, I have been on a binge/restrict cycle... or maybe a binge/punish cycle. During the binge part, I stop caring about what I’m doing to my body. It doesn’t matter. I want to eat what I want and drink white chocolate mochas and maybe the occasional can of pop.  

It’s ugly. 

But after a couple of weeks of that, I launch myself on a major self-restriction cycle. I don’t eat anything. Or I cut out certain things like meat or sugar or white flour or processed foods. Whatever I think might help me feel better about how badly I've treated my body. 

Balance is not my middle name.

I hesitate to share this in such a public setting. I’ll tell you why. Because people will find out that really, I do NOT have it all together. Inside, I am beating myself up daily, telling myself I’m not good enough, punishing myself for not resisting the magnetic pull of Starbucks.  

I’m not sure how I got to be so disordered. Or what to do about it now. I honestly thought I was fine. I was over this. But when you wake up and think about food...what you can and can’t eat... before you’re even out of bed... something is wrong. I spend my days trying to control food. Careful portions. Control every aspect of it. I’ve counted points and calories and tracked my exercise. I’ve cut out just about everything at one point or another.

And I’m tired of it.

I am thinking thin people don't think about food this much. 

So last night, Adam and I were talking about all of this. He’s good to sit and listen when I sound like a contestant on "The Biggest Loser". I so love that about him. He let me talk for awhile. Let me vent. I haven’t had sugar in a week and only had two cups of coffee all week, but yesterday was a not-so-great day. I had a really hard evening. I was exhausted. And then Ethan started crying (really for no reason) and he got mad and wouldn’t let Sam in his room. So Sam got mad and hauled off and punched Ethan. 

Whhhat?? We don't punch in the Walsh house! 

I know Sam is only two, but I’m guessing his punches still hurt. It was an ugly scene. Sometimes I hate disciplining my kids even though I know it’s what they need.  

So I came downstairs and I was angry. Really angry and a little bit whiny and "poor me." 

And then I saw it.

A pink Lofthouse cookie. With frosting. And sprinkles.

 
I love these things.  

And I’m just gonna be honest here. I ate the darn thing. I started out with half and then figured "Why not?" Might as well go for it. And I ate it. All of it.

And then I took stock of my feelings. Why did I eat that? Was it because I’d gotten on the scale that morning only to find out my healthy week had garnered me little success? Because my back is hurting again? Because my boys were pummeling each other? All of the above, perhaps.  

And I ate.

What a sad, embarrassing, humiliating thing. I mean, really, it’s FOOD.

What is my problem? 

 

So, in my conversation with Adam, I was lamenting this slip-up (to which of course he responded "It’s just a cookie.") And it’s true. It is. But to me, it represented my inability to control that anger. The food won. Got the better of me.

And I caved.

My mood had been altered from the second I stepped on that scale.

So, I’m doing something REVOLUTIONARY.

I’m getting rid of my scale.

Maybe not forever, but certainly for a few months. And I’m concentrating on my healthy eating rather than my weight loss. It’s too difficult to have that constant reminder. It’s too difficult to feel like a failure every time I step on it. So, instead, I’m choosing health...both mental and physical.

It’s a battle I’ve been fighting since I was a young teenager and I don’t want to carry it with me anymore.

I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.

And once I hit "publish"...everyone will know.

And I'm okay with that. Because I so do not have everything together.

Thank God HE does.