Something Better

I don't want to be all deep and heavy on a Friday. For one thing, I know Adam won't read this if I am and for another thing, it's the Fourth of July...but there is something on my mind that I just can't shake. 

Last year, right about this time, our plants and flowers at our old house began to look mighty pretty. We'd only lived in that house for a little over two years and the landscaping hadn't had a chance to mature prior to last summer. Finally, we saw the beauty of the work we'd done, digging, planting, watering. 

And by then, I knew we were moving and in my heart, I asked God a question... "How can we leave everything we've worked so hard to build?" Those roses were ours. We picked them out. We loved them. They were beautiful. And we were just going to leave? (The literal roses, but also a metaphor for everything good in our Illinois lives.)

And I heard God say, "I have something better for you." 

Many times over the last 11 months, I've clung to those words. Sometimes I've even raised an angry fist toward heaven "Where's the something better, God?" "Is this mess the something better?" 

(Yes, I am exceedingly grateful for his grace.) 

It's been an incredibly stressful 11 months, and none more stressful than June. It's seemed like everything that could possibly gone wrong has gone wrong. One thing on top of another, piled up like tires in a junk yard. 

On the surface, there's nothing better about it. 

I've wallowed a bit over this fact, over everything that's gone wrong. The appliances that don't work. Having to spend extra money on a washer and dryer because it costs so much to convert this house to gas to fit the eleven year old one we have. The home warranty doesn't cover the new appliances. We've had to call and re-call Dish Network for three different issues. Our internet only worked when it felt like it. And that's all just for starters...

I know it's nit picky little stuff, but it adds up and equals stress. 

This morning our vacuum stopped working. 

And I just laughed. 

But a few days ago, I was out in the backyard and I discovered something I didn't know were there. Peonies. 

My earliest memory of peonies are the several that lined the garage in the house I grew up in. I remember their vivid pink and the fragrance that filled the entire yard. And the ants. They were always crawling with ants. The older I've gotten, the more I've grown to realize that these flowers are among my favorites. They are so beautiful and full and smell so good. 

And right there as I marveled at the fact that I now had peonies, I heard God's voice as clear as day. 

Something better. 

 

See, to the rest of the world, our rose bushes maybe seemed more precious. Roses are, after all, some of the most "revered" flowers. Peonies, on the other hand, seem somewhat understated to me. Unassuming. Suprising. And God knew that if he was to give me something better, it wouldn't be another rose bush. 

No, he speaks my language. 

He gently reminded me of the answered prayers. The new friends I've made...friends I prayed for on the drive out here. I didn't want to keep everyone at an arm's length, and he made good. As leery as I've been about new relationships, he's given me friends he knows I need. Friends that build me up and encourage me and understand me. Right here in my own backyard. 

Our house is just what I've been praying for. Our kids are happy. My husband is happy. At our core, we are better. 

I don't know why things have been piling up on us lately, but I know that I'm thankful he prepared us for everything ahead of time. It's not what I expected, but it didn't surprise Him. He's known all along. 

The thing is. God knows exactly what we need. Just when we need it. 

Sometimes we need roses. 

But sometimes, though it may not make the most sense, we need peonies. 

Comments

[Deb Raney]

Best. Post. Ever.

Peonies are one of my very favorite flowers, too! (Because they're "Memorial Day flowers" and that just happens to be my birthday.)

[Pamela]

I just loved this post, Courtney! It really hits home for me in my life right now. And I just happen to think peonies beat roses any day ... I just love their scent. Now if you don't mind ... I am off to "smell the peonies" :)

[Bobbie]

Great post, Courtney...peonies are very special to me too...I have some beautiful white ones that originated at my great-grandmother's house in Mendota, then some were started from that at my grandmother's house in Aurora, then on to start another bush at my parent's house in Oswego and finally to our first house in Sandwich. When we sold that house, we told them that we would be taking half of that bush to our new house when it was time to transplant them. We did and they thrived and bloomed. When we had to sell that house and live in an apartment for a while, we dug it up and my dad planted it back in his front flower bed. It stayed there for about 3 years and didn't bloom, Dad passed away that following January and it did bloom that spring...I knew it would, it was a hug from God. Now it is transplanted once again to our yard and every summer it makes me smile...every summer I take more pictures and bring in one perfect flower and float it in a bowl on my kitchen window sill and enjoy it! So I love your post, and I know that He is watching you all everyday and waiting for the chance to show you something small that will help you remember that He is something BIG and that even in the midst of mess.....it will be okay!! :)

[meghan]

thank goodness june is over. happy first day of july. happy rest of your life. colorado is a great place for fresh starts. xoxo

[Heather]

I don't usually comment, but I read every post.

I love the analogies you shared today, and this post REALLY touched me soul.

I needed it.

Thank you!!

[created2Bunique]

You are so inspiring through your words. You make all the things you tgo hrough and things you see in a whole different level.

God has given you gift and you use it well.

You always touch my soul, heart and mind. Ty :)

Haidee

[MOMMY]

Beautiful my girl :) It's good to hear you sounding more at peace. Remember this.

[christy]

love this post! AND jealous that you have peonies!!! :)

[Wendy]

I'll take a peony over a rose any day. Something better. Praise God for all He's doing that we see and even all we can't see.

Happy 4th!
~ Wendy

[TiAnna Mae]

Wow! I am so amazed at God's wisdom right now. Thanks for sharing! Enjoy your 4th of July!

tiannamae.blogspot.com

[cynthia]

God knew when he made Peonies that he would use them to speak to our hearts. They speak to life in so many ways. One of my favorites too. Ever notice that the petals are the ugliest things. One fell apart on my kitchen table one day, and I thought i would take some pictures for random textures. When I was looking at them up close, ugh, how mishapen they all were! God spoke to my heart about how he could take all those misshapen petals and make something so beautiful. They've become a theme flower for when my life seems in so many pieces and ugly. Love hearing they bless others too. Cynthia

[michelle p. from wa]

Thank you for you honesty!!! Nothing is more beautiful than a heart open to God and open to sharing its realness!!

[Terrie]

Peonies are my 'roses'!! I tried to bring them with me when I moved a year & 1/2 ago...died...made me sad! They were peonies that were from the farm...my husband's grandmother had planted them...we transplanted to our next home and they didn't survive this last move. Maybe because we moved in the dead of January and it was super cold last year?! I'm going to plant lots of them in my backyard here...which is good because we have plenty of ants to open them up!!!

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that has shaken my fist at God over a move in the last year! So happy for His mercy & grace!!!!

PS - Ordered my Big Book of Ideas today! :)

[Becky @ Farmgirl Paints]

this made me teary courtney. that is the one thing that has pushed me in this move. HE has something better...as scary as that is. i can't wait for the day when i find my "peony" to remind me of His promise! beautiful post. praying for you right now.

[Michele]

So good to remember that even in the midst of annoying and irritating and just plain awful, god's will is there. I will never forget a passage from corrie ten boom's memoir about being in a concentration camp, and she wrote of the infestation of lice that went through her camp and how horrific theses lice were. And she would pray at night and give thanks for the lice, because ey were part of god's plan, too. Come to find out, the lice protected her camp from being killed by the nazis, because none of the soldiers would go near them. There is always a reason. And yes ... Peonies are way better; their loveliness is so brief that it has to be amazing while they're here!

[Bringing Pretty Back]

AMEN.

[Privet and Holly]

I hope your Fourth
was free of these
things that were
dragging you down,
Courtney, and FULL
of all the little
and wonderful things...
peonies and fireflies
and kids jumping through
sprinklers and sunshine
and lemonade and all
that is truly fine.
Have a great week!
xx Suzanne

[Jenn]

<3 adore this. adore you!

[Lisa VanderVeen]

OH MY GOSH, YES!!! We need peonies!!! (I love peonies. We had a huge bush of them in our yard where I grew up in Michigan. They smell heavenly!).