Out of Focus

Recently, I had coffee with a couple of my friends. Friends I prayed for when we moved here because I knew I would need good, solid, God-loving friends if I was going to survive a cross-country move. God answered in spades. 

And as a side note, I've never understood what that phrase meant. "In spades?" Where did that come from and who decided spades were plentiful? I don't have a single one to my name. 

I was updating my friends on a couple of current situations in my life...a life which has, by many accounts, not gone according to my plan as of late. I have a laundry list of things that have gone wrong, in fact, and could recite it as easily as I can recite the entire Preamble to the Constitution. 

Don't test me. I really can. Along with all the presidents in order. (I had a really good sixth grade teacher.)

And as I told them some of the cool, miraculous, Big God things going on, one of my friends kind of shook her head and wondered aloud why it was that everything seemed to fall into place for me. 

I think the idea of it gripped me because lately I've felt more than ever that we are under a crazy mountain of eveyrthing-that-could-go-wrong-does.

I've wallowed and lamented. The only thing missing from my outbursts of grief were the sackcloth and ashes. 

I've been a mess. 

Let me rephrase. I've allowed myself to feel like a mess.

Yet, as we talked, to my friend, it seemed like everything was going swimmingly...

Somewhere along the way, I'd gotten out of focus. I think it's the lists... the ones of everything that's gone wrong. As if somehow it's going to prove my point and make me feel better to whip out my scroll and recount all the ways things are NOT going my way. And while I may not share these things aloud, inside, this is what I've chosen to focus on. 

This is what I've chosen to focus on? 

Why? 

Why on earth do I tattoo these things on my forehead rather than letting them go and instead turning my face towards all the things that God is working out for us? 

This weekend, Adam and I watched Clash of the Titans. I'd never seen it, despite recently having finished a script for a musical production of Hercules (which really has nothing to do with Clash of the Titans except that the gods are the same in both stories...) But it's funny what I found myself wondering about as I watched. 

1. Does Liam Neeson really glow like that? (And incidentally, I also wondered if Ralph Fiennes "Hades" reminded anyone else of Voldemort...)

2. Why doesn't the guy from Avatar get more big parts? He's kind of awesome. 

3. Why was there no love story in this movie? Methinks Perseus should've fallen in love...

And most importantly:

4. Could I learn something about God from this portrayal of Zeus? 

Clearly the greek gods are very different from the one true God, but I found it interesting how Zeus allowed Hades to reek a bit of  havoc on mankind in hopes that mankind would pray to him again. I've always been taught that God doesn't bring bad things our way. He doesn't inflict harm. He's a loving God...but still, the Bible is clear that there will be trials. We have to suffer. We have to learn. 

We don't have to like it. 

But in those trials, we have a choice. We can whine, complain, don the sackcloth and ashes. We can do those things in spades, even...OR we can pray and refocus. We can instead choose to focus to the many ways that God is working it out for us... 

Interestingly enough, in the movie, Zeus tried to help Perseus. He even appeared to him and begged him to accept his help. But Perseus was proud and refused him...at least at first. It got me thinking about how many times my vision has been out of focus so much that I've rejected God's help. 

It made me wonder if maybe things weren't all going wrong, the way I'd originally allowed myself to believe. 

Perhaps I simply need to refocus...and see everything a little clearer. 

Do you think I'm a heathen for using the image of Liam Neeson to illustrate? my faith walk? C'mon, be honest...

Comments

[TC Avey]

I find it amazing how many God/Religious references can be found in movies/books. I know I have learned a few lessons from Harry Potter.

God can be found in anything if one looks. God doesn't want it to be difficult to believe in Him or to find Him. That you found a reference from Liam Neeson proves that.

I think relating Godly things from a viewpoint the world can relate to makes it easier for them to understand and believe (at times).

Thanks for reminding me to refocus. I needed to hear that- lately I've been focusing on NOT getting an agent instead of looking at all the things I am learning, the people I am meeting and the opportunity to work on my manuscript/query.

[Sheri Twing]

Wow! This was an awesome post and just what I needed to hear today. I think you did a fabulous job at sharing your heart and the vulnerability of the rough times in life. That's much where we're at right now too. Feeling like we are one of those trying to be sifted out but keeping our focus is the most important thing. What a great reminder of that today. Thanks for the encouragement and faith booster!

[becky @ farmgirl paints]

First of all I'm so glad God has blessed you in the friend department. That really does help life make more sense. Sometimes they can see clearly what we don't because we're standing a little too close. And yes I understand the out of focus thing. I can get out of whack in a New York minute. Sending some non-specific prayers your way. If ya need a listening ear I'm here...I'm just sayin';)

[intheschmidthouse@yahoo.com]

First, If I had to pick an actor to do it, Liam Neeson would be it. Second, awesome insight. Third, love you.

[Laura Cox]

Friends are just such an awesome blessing, what would we do without them to hold that mirror up to let us see who we really are? And I'm in the middle of a study on Genesis and the story of Joseph....talk about trials, but staying faithful thru it! We just had this conversation...God is good, faithful, and loves us....he doesn't MAKE bad things happen to us....but when they do, he hopes they will bring us closer to him. And I love your parallel with Liam....so many examples like that....reminds me of your post the other day....the heart needs the "story" or fairytale sometimes to "get it"....lol.

[Sherrie]

I love your post and really can relate!! Its in times like these where out walk meets our talk and this is the hardest part of our faith and yet as I write this I think how much I whine and focus on the hard times too and if only I would put this much effort in telling (myself) and others what God has done and protected me from!! And I love your parallel with the movie and "even though" you still saw GOD!! Amen Courtney keep up your awesome post!!

[only the hopeless believe fairy tales]

god doesn't exist. thats whats funny.